My wife seems set on divorce. I’ve seen so many of these posts, but I need some help now. She left and said she’s getting the divorce papers and she said I can have custody of both my kids and take them back to my country.
The thing is I feel like I can’t trust her. It could be a tactic to get me to sign documents I can’t read to make me divorce. If she’s serious then I’ll take them. How do I know what I’m signing to is agreed custody for me?
Anyone know what this document looks like and what I should be trying to understand. Also, there aren’t any lawyers in my area who speak English to help.
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On the divorce paper ( at least where I live), there was a space for writing who gets custody. Don’t sign anything you can’t read. Keep the paper for a couple of days, google translate it, ask a friend, check here, whatever, just don’t be pressured to sign anything immediately.
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Since you said you can’t trust her, have you filed 離婚不受理届 yet?
Sign an agreement with your wife regarding custody, child support and division of assets then sign the rikon todoke and submit it.
The agreement can be in English and will be enforceable as long as it is properly drafted.
Whereabouts are you? Maybe I can recommend someone to help. DM also ok
Assuming you don’t have to go to court over dispute for division of assets…
On the standard divorce form 離婚届, there is a section titled 親権 shinken. In here you have to fill the children’s names in the father column. If she’s willing to do that, then stamp it and done deal, you have full parental rights. The only catch is you can’t force her to pay child support.
Disclaimer, don’t stamp if you dont know what the kanji for father and shinken is.
Don’t sign anything, talk to a lawyer.
Find out if any of the attorneys in your area can accommodate a translator for you. See if they’ll arrange one on your behalf or let you hire your own.
WARNING:
Stop everything and get a good lawyer. No more posts, no more second guessing. You stand to lose everything, even things you haven’t even thought about yet could be gone, now and well into the future. You are playing with fire.
Get a lawyer and make them your spokesman—she negotiations with the lawyer. I have the name of a good one if you want to DM me. Even if you don’t, don’t sign, talk or do anything before 9am tomorrow when you reach out to a good attorney who will get you through this losing the least amount possible.
> Also, there aren’t any lawyers in my area who speak English to help
Then find one outside of your area. This is your kids’ future we’re talking about here, do what needs to be done
Ignore all advice that doesn’t include getting a good lawyer.
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Get a good lawyer.
In any legal matter the best advice is don’t take advice from the other team.
Get a lawyer
Edit: and submit rikon fujuri moshidesho 離婚不受理申出書 asap so she can’t fake your signature and you get a surprise divorce.
Ward office, go in the morning. Call a sick day in from work. Seriously just do it.
The fact that she moved out of your residence can be seen as abandoning the kids. So that is in your favor. Establish that in writing – send her an email or text that mentions the date she left.
But yes, see a lawyer.
1. Get someone you trust to help you read
2. Make sure a fraudulent divorce filing hasn’t already been made and get help filing the objection to divorce filings.
3. If you can get a lawyer who speaks English great. But gyoseishoshi (documentation lawyers) can also help you do everything but go to court, which you may not need to do. They may be better able to help since a lot of them do immigration work, and divorce may affect your residence status.
4. If you plan to return to your home country after the divorce and your home county uses the common law, you may want to think more about what you need to PROVE your divorce as custody. Common law countries expect divorce/custody to be evidenced by a court judgment. Most Japanese divorces and custody decisions are made out of court by filings at your local town hall, so having nothing but a copy the Japanese filing may not be the evidence you need in daily life in your home country to prove you have custody. Moreover, once you are divorced you will have no ability to get any further proof of divorce/custody from your ex-Japanese spouse’s family registry.
5. Talk to a Japanese lawyer or other professional yes, but most of them won’t think about what documentation you need in your home country.
Just a side note, do your kids already have dual citizenship and passports?
Or do you have Permanent resident status in Japan ?
If no, you need to get one of these very quickly.
It is obvious that you need a lawyer ASAP. No second guessing on Reddit but firm answers from a specialist. Not sure where you live but you could get a lawyer in Tokyo or Osaka that speaks English if needed. **Contact your embassy for recommendations on the process, list of lawyers and the topic in general.** Good luck.
No possible way that she and her family are letting you take the kids and leave the country.
Just talk to a lawyer. A bilingual one if you can.
You can get a free (or cheap) consultation in most areas with a translator present with a lawyer through the local bar association/local government. If you like them you may be able to take them on full-time – the translator too!
It’s difficult by try to be as objective as possible – don’t let emotion come into it. If she is offering an uncontested divorce with custody, show the lawyer the forms in the consultation and that could be the end of it. Doesn’t need to be a huge battle.
Hide your hanko, get a lawyer
And even then, when you get to the airport with your kids and your wife is not there, expect the police to stop you and assume you are kidnapping them so have your paperwork ready
If she is Japanese, you probably won’t be getting custody of the kids. I’ve heard many stories about how it’s perfectly legal for the woman to run off with the kids and you’ll be stuck paying for child support without even knowing where they are. Like everyone said, lawyer up! It’s going to be an uphill battle. The system there does not work like it does in other countries. Most legal situations involving a Japanese native and a foreigner end in favor of the foreigner.
Because she is Japanese and can get custody without a problem, maybe you can talk her into taking your kids out of the country on a trial period ASAP. Then from there finish up the divorce. This is my dream game plan.
What you need
A photocopy of her passport
A signed letter from her saying you can take your children out of Japan.
Both of your kids passport from both countries.
Koseki Tohon (family registry from city hall)
Good on your for being suspicious. What people say and what people do are different, especially at times like divorce. There’s often no longer the need to be honest anymore. People can be fickle too.
If you divorce now, she can have custody no matter what she said, so I would find a way of taking the kids back to your country first, then do the divorce later. Don’t sign anything until you safely have the kids in your custody outside of Japan. Consider legal action where you’re from so that you get custody. (Your kids are neglected by a mother that lives in Japan and gave you custody.) Japanese law will ignore than, but your country’s and other countries’ laws will give your country’s decision a fair deal.
If you don’t know what you’re signing, then obviously don’t sign it. It doesn’t matter what the divorce document looks like. Just don’t sign things, and you won’t have a problem.
Depending where you live, you can sometimes get free legal consulations. Check with any international centres in your city or the closest big city.
I’m gonna close this post. Enough advice.
Depends on your nationality. If you’re an American like me, US law only recognizes Chotei Rikon (recognized by Japanese court), not Kyogi Rikon (mutual consent). Very Best Law Offices were very easy to work with. Highly recommend Fujii-sensei, the lawyer.