Hello,
I am writing here because of a very serious issue I have, since I wasn’t able to find a proper answer anywhere else.
This is the situation: me and my wife (japanese) live separately, despite still being married. We have a son, and he lives with her due to me working all day (she does half). I have noticed multiple times she never (ever) straps him to the child seat when she drives him home (I am unable to do so every day). I also noticed all of my in laws do the same. A few days ago he was on a truck, in the front seat, without seatbelt. 2 weeks ago he bumped his head in the car, fortunately not too seriously, but still.
I contacted the local social services, but they refuse to do anything.
My question is, do you know any general authority in Japan I can appeal to, so that my in laws and wife are forced to use the child seat? I reckon it is a crime in japan not to use it (as well as watching tv while they drive, which they all do). I am not sure if going directly to the police would be wise, and the legal way would be very heavy on me financially, at the moment.
9 comments
It seems to me going to police is the best and see what they say. make sure you have your residence card if you are not citizen. even more helpful if you notice her that day with child not properly in child seat and go immediately to the police. then you can even report where you saw them and where they are heading if you know.
I assume though you talked to her and tried to convince her by mentioning all the things that could go wrong from simple accident that is not even her fault like another car hits lightly or airbag violently releasing. They are not safe for children. also mention how she could be caught and fined. don’t mention you’d report her at least not yet.
Due to how common it is for ex-spouses to steal their kids away and refuse shared custody, I would not advice going to the police about her.
Your best bet is probably to teach your son to use a seatbelt. When he gets in the car with you point out that you are wearing a seatbelt and that he should wear one too. This may be your only course of action as the police will do nothing. Educate your son and teach him to stand up for himself. You’re in a terrible situation. I wish you the best.
You want to try to deal with that by talking to them. How can you possibly police something like that? You’d never know if they were doing it.
I had the same situation. Couldn’t do nothing about it. Wife said she’d divorce every time I bring up something she didn’t like. Especially about things like that from in laws. Good luck.
If you cannot convince them internally, you got a bigger problem.
It’s unfortunately so common I would very much doubt that the authorities will be of use here. You might try talking with the school, and see if they can try to encourage seatbelt use, and maybe try to get them to do so without mentioning that you are the one who brought it up.
Have you tried showing your wife and in-laws videos of crash dummies not strapped in vs strapped in? A lot of (probably most tbh) Japanese people don’t wear seatbelts or make their children wear them. I’ve bought it up with several friends before and they all just had no idea how dangerous it is until I showed them videos. I feel like the education around it here is just like “please kindly wear a seatbelt” but doesn’t actually show *why* you need to wear one, so people just don’t know.
How old is your son? I would start by rewarding good seatbelt behavior with a toy or something else they want, watching seatbelt safety videos together, that sort of thing. A lot of kids shows on Youtube Kids have songs and cartoons about this. Perfect behavior for a few weeks and they get something. Call/ask daily him and make a sticker board, whatever
If things don’t improve, and if it was me, I’d probably take up a borderline psycho level and also start sending anonymous letters to the kobans in the area with a description of her car and the tag plate but not the address. If you’re lucky they’re bored with nothing to do and may take up the challenge to locate and talk to her
I got a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt in the BACK SEAT on the highway, so a kid bouncing around in the front seat even on local roads has to be a crime