Hi All,
Newly living and working in Japan. PhD at a small university.
University President invited me to dinner by email. But it’s the same day I’m due to fly home for xmas.
I replied, thanking him for the invitation and explaining that I’m sorry, but I’ll be on a plane. Asked to reschedule.
Then talking to colleagues, they said I should have cancelled my flight or found a way.
Looking for a reality check here. Was it really expected that I do that?
Thinking I should just drop off a nice bottle of scotch and Xmas card tomorrow and that should smooth it over?
Thanks in advance for feedback. I come from a very different culture to Japan.
5 comments
I think that some people might have different expectations or not get how hard travel is, though it does sound like a very nice invitation to receive.
I’m sure a gift would be appreciated. I imagine that the Uni President wouldn’t have taken it badly, and if they did, they’re probably not worth dealing with anyways!
But a small gift is probably a good way of being thoughtful anyways, if it doesn’t feel imposing to you. You have latitude as someone from a different culture
Maybe it’s more that it’s a rare opportunity that might not come again? Even if the president is laid back and doesn’t care about the refusal itself, maybe he won’t invite you again for awhile?
It’s definitely unreasonable to ask you to reschedule your entire flight around him. Fortunately, this is where you can use your gaijin card.
Maybe you omitted some details, but I hope you were as apologetic as possible in the email and maybe didn’t sound so direct about rescheduling, because he’s the university president, and even if it’s not actually true, he’s supposed to be busier than you so you’re supposed to work around his schedule.
Definitely give him a nice present in person, apologise again for not being able to make it, emphasise how much you would absolutely love to have dinner with him, and maybe get him something from your home country too when you return.
The President himself probably doesn’t care, but his minions want to show how far they would go to please him. The gift will go down a treat I bet so don’t sweat it.
It could be nothing, it could be your entire career advancement on the line. Your colleagues know more than anybody on this sub.