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nothing. there’s always some variety in pronunciation, even in a group of native speakers. but if you want to speak it in a standard correct way, it’s neither a d nor an l, the closest western language equivalent i know of is a spanish short-r
I think they’re both alveolar flaps. ([r], as in be**tt**er, bu**dd**y, w**itt**y, and ba**tt**er in American and sometimes other dialects of English).
Maybe the second one sounded a tiny bit more like an alveolar lateral flap. ([ɺ], which we don’t have in English). So you extrapolated to the lateral approximant [l]. (The “L” in lion, lime, and loan).
(1) Both are correct. (They sound the same to me.)
(2) The second one is not an “L,” at least not the “L” in American English. (i.e., I believe you miscategorized it.)
(3) You *can* say the “L” in Japanese. Just less common, but people might not notice. Some may think you sound more “foreign.” People do it more when they’re singing.
(4) You *can* instead say the “D” (a typical Americna English “D,” as in doll, dog, Dylan). It’ll make you sound like you have ‘short tongue,’ but it’s still acceptable, to a degree.
Conclusion: The Japanese R is closest to the [r], as in be**tt**er, but it can be extended to include the L and D on occasion. (This is assuming Tokyo Japanese.)
Sometimes it sounds like ‘r’, sometimes ‘l’, sometimes ‘d’, and sometimes it’s virtually inaudible. My advice…
* forget about alveolar ridges, tongue placement and breathing methods …
* just listen to native examples of words (Tokyo dialect – unless you specifically want to learn some other variation) and try to mimic those word pronunciations.
it’s always sounded like “L” to me, I’m bilingual if that adds some context
As others have mentioned, they’re both correct, and you will even hear the same speaker use either sound, depending on what they’re saying. You might find these videos by Dogen helpful:
[The Japanese R Sounds](https://youtu.be/pwPQONKtv_0)
[How to pronounce ら after ん](https://youtu.be/kOexRt8BDDk) – this one’s shorter
Tangentially, one thing that can be kinda interesting is listening to the same song by different singers and hearing how they pronounce things slightly differently. Example: FictionJunction – Everlasting Song. [Keiko’s version](https://youtu.be/i6FIrdsAYO8?t=163) is more like [[ɾ]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/alveolar_tap) (alveolar tap – the “d” sound), but [Asuka’s version](https://youtu.be/tp4XI32s2qs?t=138) is more like a [[l]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voiced_dental,_alveolar_and_postalveolar_lateral_approximants) (the “l” sound)