What ‘dumb foreigner’ stuff have you done that makes you cringe?
I’ll start:
\- Buying flowers for my girlfriend on Valentine’s day that were supposed to be for a grave offering (three years in a row!)
\- Frying veg with mirin because I thought it was cooking oil
\- Phoning the paraffin delivery guy and asking for 18 liters of ‘oyu’.
\- Realizing I’m the only one wearing shoes instead of the slippers at the doctor’s waiting room
\- Walking around the ryokan in the toilet slippers (a classic move)
\- Going to the DVD store for ‘Wuthering Heights’ and asking for ‘Hikarigaoka’
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Your Slipper story reminded me of when I wore the bathroom slippers but forgot to take them off…. until I was leaving
Noticed no one said anything lol.
Oh yeah… the mirin thing. I was making pommes dauphines and ran out of oil mid frying. Went to the store and saw this super cheap oil (great!)
Poured the mirin in the oil -_-
Maybe not just foreigner stuff but I got wasted, vomitted on the train and it went under the conductors door. Also tried sitting on someones lap and kept entering train cars throwing my arms wide and proclaiming “Ladies and Gentleman”.
The classic bought the inexpensive but pretty grave flowers they sell at the front of the supermarket for my sweetie not realizing what they were.
To the credit of the clerk checking me out they did try to warn me. Apparently this is a relatively common thing as well.
Just remembered another one… using some guy’s personal bowl and plastic stool at the local sento. In my defense, they were the same color as the communal ones. Man, did he scrub the heck out of that thing afterwards!
Said I forgot to bring my saifuku (priest robes) instead of saifu (wallet). Repeatedly to a cashier. On a busy day with a queue. While holding up said queue 🫥
hashtag confidentlywrong
– Tipping the NHK guy (not really, but I *did* pay for it willingly and without complaining about it on the internet)
– Going to the park but not being an English teacher who wants to teach your kids (sorry, random moms)
“Hikarigaoka” is surely a family film.
At an udon shop that also sells tempura, I drank the tempura dipping sauce thinking it was tea, because it was stored in a water kettle to keep the sauce warm…
– I stayed at a yamagoya without 予約しなかった(didn’t make reservation)、but kept the telling the worker i hadn’t 新聞(news)しましたwell . I meant 準備しました (prepared).🤦♂️
– Became an ALT🤦♂️
– for the longest time i didn’t know how to end phone calls with 失礼します(honorific salutation). So in the beginning it would end with long silences afterward I thought to ask 終わったですか?(are you done?) 🤦♂️
it’s been less than a full year, there are countless things I still do unknowingly
I accidentally stole the slippers from my doctors office. I made it nearly to the station and had to turn around. When I gave them back , the receptionist was quite confused until she saw my shoes on the rack, and then everyone busted out laughing. It’s a fond memory, because I feel like everyone was just being very genuine.
Oh….
– When I was pregnant, the nurse give to me a cup to pee, to make the pregnancy urine exam. So I take the cup to the toilet, pee and bring the cup back to the nurse in the middle of the patient room and she was looking to me without understand.
So I said “oshiko” and she widened his eyes and gently push me to the toilet again and there she show me, in the bathroom was a little window who you supose to put the cup, discreetly, and leave the bathroom without a cup of pee. Well I learned, but never forget.
– I asked one “aomori” lamen, instead one “oomori”
– For months I answered the “irashaimase” in the combine with another “irashaimase”.
Edit: Well, that’s one time, in first beginning when I have my period and I bought and use a insect repellent to clean my… private part? It was cute, with a happy kids picture so I think “oh, this can be a gentle one if can be used on kids”.
Boy, this shit burns…
Paid rent at 7 eleven during a busy time and tried to insert those ¥10,000 bills one by one. The cashier only noticed what I was doing after I was already on the 10th bill.
FREAKING EMBARASSING. 🥲🫠
I bought onion rings and took a bite….
They were squid. Rip.
On my last day of work at my previous job, I accidentally called my boss “kancho” instead of “kacho”. So glad I never have to see him again haha!
Similar to your flower story. Wanted to buy some incense for my house. Bought a pack I liked the smell of at the store, and went through it. Bought another pack and was halfway through before somebody told me they were funeral incense.
Went into the wrong changing room when I first got here because I couldn’t read kanji at the time, and they used a blue colored sign for the women’s changing room.
Opened the door to the NHK guy.
I put grave candles on my wife’s birthday cake. They were the only candles I could find at the local supa.
Of course, I bought grave flowers too (only once though)
Said my girlfriend was 13, and not 23 – like I meant to. Oops..
Also guilty of grave flowers. That’s gotta be a rite of passage.
Some others:
1. I asked my first two (regular full-time salary) employers if the job came with health insurance that would cover me and my family. Always met with confused blank stares and a “…..yes?”
2. Referred to laundry as “sentakimono” for a while until somebody had the courage to tell me I sounded like a 3-year-old
3. Drove on the right side of inaka roads a couple times…
4. Pretended I understood what somebody was saying on the phone and then realizing after hanging up that I didn’t absorb a single nugget of very critical information
These are dumb but innocently funny
I put the armpit thermometer in my mouth. It had a disposable plastic cover, and apparently they didn’t change it between patients armpits.
Went on a school excursion to Japan – one week travelling with the class, one week homestay. My lovely homestay family brought out a yukata for me to try on and we took pictures! Awesome!
I get back home, I look at the pictures, and I think oh no! my yukata! I left it behind! (for some reason, the teachers placed particular emphasis on the fact that the host family *will* give you gifts). So I emailed my host mom, who replies back after a few days:
> I am sorry, but you cannot take the yukata home. It is a family yukata.
I just about died of embarrassment
“Let’s meet at Shinjuku Station.”
The first temple I went to where you had to take your shoes off I didn’t realise and the ticket lady’s exclaimed to stop me, so I thanked them and headed towards the shoe rack they pointed at to take my shoes off. They exclaimed louder as the shoe rack area also disallowed shoes. Felt right silly but also felt that didn’t make sense until I saw it everywhere else in Japan doing the same!
I once ate the cube of fat meant for the grill at yakiniku, thinking it was some kinda お通し.
Idk how “dumb foreigner” that is, but trying to get rid of my 1円玉 at the 7-Eleven because it’s an automatic machine, only for the machine to stop working because I put too many of them.
My first dinner in Japan I had no idea what edamame were, so I ate them as they came, with the pee and everything. I’m hindsight, the マスター’s puzzled face should have been a hint, but no one said anything to me.
Oh, and the flowers, of course. *Three* times.
Back when I first arrived, I made the mental error of thinking “良い”, meaning “good”, since it has a positive meaning, you can use it in an affirmative sense for any situation.
Confused the hell out of my local conbini guys for a few months. They’d ask if I want to microwave the bento and I’ve give them a “hai, iidesu” while shaking my head up and down in a “yes please” manner.
Rocked up like an utter idiot to a temple and asked if they do weddings.
This past summer I was at Ministop and I was ordering myself some mango ice cream. As I was saying it, I was looking at the sign for it. Coincidentally, from the angle I was standing at, the ” on the ゴ was obscured, so it looked like a コ. Brain on autopilot, instead of saying the fucking word mango, I asked for a manko aisu.
The maybe 20 at most year old girl behind the counter looked at me confused, and asked me what I’d said. I said “manko aisu” *again*. She says, “mango aisu?” at which point it dawned on me what had just come out of my much fucking *twice*, and I had to pretend I had no idea I just asked some younger woman for a cone of pussy cream…
That girl still works there, and I die a little inside every time she’s the one who rings me up.
Want to tell my coworker I’m sick
the correct Japanese is : Choushi warui 調子悪い
My Japanese was bad that time and I said this instead: kigen warui 機嫌悪い
So what I told them was : I’m in bad mood now so can I go rest abit
I wasn’t realize what I said either until a year later so I keep wondering why people gave me a strange face
My second day here I went to a Lawson and saw they had corn dogs. Was kinda hungry but I don’t speak Japanese so I just pointed and held up one finger to let the guy know I wanted just one. He came over pointed to it then looked me dead in the eye and said American dog. I got mad was like damn bro I just came in for a snack not to be insulted. So I left and told my girl about it and she laughed and said that’s what they are called.
Thought I was putting money into the change maker but was paying the bus fair. Did it three times before just walking off. Guess I paid for two other people?
I hope you guys have started buying flowers from a flower shop instead of a grocery store!
Bought a dorayaki thinking that the filling was chocolate
When I first lived in Japan, I had heard how expensive fruit is. At a local green grocer I saw these giant apples that were 650 yen for 1 mori. I thought “mori” was the counter for apple (I thought it was forest and somehow didn’t get that it meant pile) and I took one from a basket and put it in my bag thinking it was 650 Yen for 1 giant apple. The grocer very polite explained that 650 was for the whole pile.
I never smiled out of embarrassment so much in my life.
My uncle told me a funny story about him and his friends were hanging out and they decided to wear matching brief boxers OUTSIDE. A t-shirt and and just their boxers, no pants. They were confused why they get weird looks until their tantousha saw them and told them that it’s not normal to wear that in public. We’re from the Philippines and some people wear it as an everyday thing lol
There’s this product that is not rice but looks exactly like rice and you mix it in with rice to apparently eat less rice. Not one of my Japanese friends said anything about it when I made the “rice” and at it. I had a stomach ache for over a day.
Damn, I went to a clinic today and was wearing shoes all the time. I used to go to another clinic where we had to change into slippers, but I completely forgot today and didn’t notice if I should…
My first months here I’d sometimes answer 宜しいですか with はい、よろしいです。
on my first day in Japan, I went and bought the cute panda salt instead of the bottle clearly labeled in English as salt
First time riding a bus, I didn’t know the “change machines in the bus” only gave you your exact money back in coin form. I thought the machine would deduct the bus fare and got yelled at when I tried to exit the bus without paying.
I went to the hospital when I had the flu. They gave me a thermometer, which I promptly put in my mouth under my tongue. Then the nurse comes over and shows me that I should put it in my armpit—ack! How many armpits did I put in my mouth.
I am guilty of the grave flowers as well. The thing is I bought it for myself and it took me a while to realize what it is for.
Other dumb things: toilet slipper thing, said “douitashimashite” whenever people say “arigatou” (technically ok but nuance-wise i sound a bit arrogance i guess), many faux pas that are related with chopstick, the typical mispronounce/mixed up words, the list is endless tbh.
Edit: one thing that is forgot to add, it’s common in my home country to say that we’re having period cramp and/or feeling unwell because of period. Apparently it’s almost like a taboo topic here in Japan. I casually discussed how I felt awful from my period to my friends and the reaction was pretty interesting. After that a female Japanese friend told me that it’s embarrassing for guys to hear that. Well, ok then..
Oh my… I have a bit of an embarrassing one:
The Nintendo Switch had just come out. It was a bright and sunny day, and my friend and I were out walking about town to see if any of the stores had one in stock (unlikely given that it was launch weekend). My friend wants to go to a store across town, but given the effort involved, I suggest we call the place first to make sure they have one available. My friend (a very good speaker of Japanese) refuses to make the call because she hates talking on the phone. I (idiot that I am) think I’ll use this opportunity to show off some new Japanese I’d studied just the previous day and call the store myself (my first ever phone call in Japan).
*ring ring*
Store: (Some Japanese I can’t recall because I didn’t understand it at the time)
Me: はい。。。あの、スイッチはかくしていますか？
Store: すみません、お客様、(they can’t understand my response)、もう一度お願いします。
Me: Um…(shit shit shit did they say “yes” or “no”????) あなたのストアは、スイッチを、どこにかくしていますか？かくしていませんか？
Store: お客様、すみません、あなたの質問を理解にしかねます。(or something similar).
Me: Uhhhhhhhhh… はい。はい。ありがとうございます。さようなら。
*hangs up*
Basically I’d made some idiotic mistake about the verb 「隠す・かくす」and assumed it to mean “in stock” for some reason. It actually means something like “to hide”, so the whole time I’d been asking the store attendant if they were “hiding” Switches in their store, and if so, where they were.
My friend, who’d overheard the whole conversation while I was on speakerphone and refused to jump in and help while I was flailing, was laughing hysterically to herself after I hung up.
I was too embarrassed to make another phone call like that for a while, but I did follow it up with another 恥ずかしい episode in which I asked a store attendant what I should do if I wanted to return an item that I had “destroyed to bits” (I had meant to ask how to return an item that had stopped working.). She just stared at me for a moment as I tried to mime out what I meant and she just walked away laughing, saying “アメリカン・ジョーク、面白い” or something.
Pretty sure I stopped speaking to shop attendants for a year following those two incidents.
Been so long I can’t remember, but once in a decidedly intellectual discussion about Abrahamic religions I kept saying 精子 (sperm) instead of 聖書 (bible).
saying “nihonjin chotto” instead of “nihongo chotto” when i arrived in Japan and could barely speak
My wife can write a report apparently. Some I don’t even know but still got the business for.
It’s one of those I can’t even think of worst, but it’s mainly with house cleanliness. But I’ll tell a fun story of a foreign friend I had lunch with my first day in Japan.
We went to a kaiten sushi and he took a jar of green power on the table and sprinkled it on his sushi thinking it was wasabi. Of course it was matcha powder for the hot water.