Minus the commute time of 2/2.5 hours (depending on if I make certain buses after my train), I’m at work for 12 hours every workday. We get a few decent breaks with what I would consider pretty good benefits. The work isn’t particularly hard but doing it for about half a day, minus me trekking home, has me deeply fatigued.
I told myself that I have to make this lifestyle work for me; I try to bring some of my hobby stuff with me in my bags to work on during my breaks, I listen to music and watch videos on the train. I even wake up at 4:30 AM some days to have time to clean the house, care for/play with my dog, or play a few video game rounds. I prioritize most free time to my dog and husband but when I have a day off where I’m not tired, I always make time for my friends. Not the most fast at messaging back but I’m there for them when I can be.
I’m not necessarily always an optimist but I try to comfort myself by saying the rise-and-grind lifestyle is temporarily. One day it will be my turn to relax. I think I’m burnt out but I’m too stubborn to admit it to anyone. I was kind of on my own growing up so I may have normalized this feeling at some point.
I only started working my job 6 months ago, so it feels much too early to make a drastic decision to go elsewhere. It makes me laugh when I remember how badly I hated my 40 hour work weeks back in the US for 5 years and now I’m pushing 50-60 hours. I’m not miserable, just not satisfied. I’m young and healthy (25 F) so I feel like my body can take it.
I’m in Tokyo, but one day I’d like to move north– maybe Akita or Aomori. Even Hokkaido seems nice. For those who have settled in more than me at their jobs and feel the yearning to live differently, when did you feel ready and safe to make a change? I want to have a lot more savings before thinking of moving elsewhere. My husband and I love the cold and more shizen-esque areas, but (again, early to say this) I’m worried if one day we stay in Tokyo too long, we’ll be too attached to leave. A side note, I’m interested in agriculture and farming but feel as if I have 0 time to invest on studies and how to make that kind of career happen. JP language is not an issue. I only did a 2-year degree and unfortunately I didn’t choose agriculture at the time, which I regret deeply occasionally.
What’s your story? How do you make your work weeks “work” for you? I would appreciate outside perspective.
TLDR; Working 50-60 hour weeks for only 6 months, 25 F and married. Wondering about future prospects and when would be a good time to reach for change.
3 comments
In my 20s I was almost like this. I didn’t like taking trains so I drove to work (from Funabashi to Tokyo) on most days. When I hit 30 I said enough is enough and moved up to Sendai and started my own business because I realized I’m not going to waste my life working for someone else and help them make their dreams come true instead of working on my own dreams. 14 years later I don’t regret it at all. It was hard for the first couple years but now I’m doing fine. Making more money than I ever would being employed by someone else and I’m my own boss. I did return to Chiba because my line of work is more lucrative here but kept my Sendai house which I use during the summer months. I recommend trying to get into business for yourself.
I’ve really reached a sweet spot in life where my job is like rank 4 or 5 on my priority list, after family, friends, and personal hobbies.
It wasn’t easy to reach this point mentally or career wise, so I realize Im privileged. I think the corporate world really brainwashes us into thinking doing our office jobs are some super important thing, because our labor benefits the company. But on a personal level it is really hard to find personal enrichment from working on weekly reports, editing excel sheets, and sitting through long drawn out meetings where people seem to keep talking just to talk.
Some personal mottos I have tattooed on the inside of my brain that guide my philosophy towards work:
“Never in the history of man has there been a person on their deathbed who regretted not working more”
“Work to live, don’t live to work”
I guess you could say I have an “anti work“　mindset. That isnt to say I dont enjoy what I do, I actually think I have a pretty sweet gig but I’m really starting to realize that working corporate jobs is really a construct of Capitalism and actually kind of “unnatural“ in the scope of human nature.
Despite generally liking what I do, if you told me I could stop working today while maintaining the same level of income/quality of life I would do so in a heartbeat. I think this is true for most everyone even those who “love” their job, which was kind of eye opening when I realized it.
You mention the “grind being temporary” but honestly Id stop and ask why grind at all. Again Im kind of speaking from a postion of privilege here and that everyone’s situation is different, but assuming you are in your 20-30s you are currently in the prime of your life, do you really want to spend that youth energy “grinding”　for a company that would throw you away for someone else in a second, or would you rather make the best of your life now and enrich yourself with more hobbies and time with friends and family? Why over exert yourself now for some vague goal of being free from
the shackles of a job in the future when you can cultivate that today?
All this being said, Im the kind of person who doesnt have ambitions for positions like manager, etc. because the higher paycheck is to me is not worth the extra stress and responsibility. If corporate advancement is a legitimate goal you have then my lifestyle wouldn’t really mesh well with that.
But ultimately if you are already asking now when you can take a “break”,my answer would be “right now”. You just need to align your mentality towards work to allow for that and set boundaries that let you prioritize yourself over what your company wants.
Really depends if this job is helping you gain valuable experience or not. Absolutely would NOT do it for a dead end job like english teaching.
I grinded when I was in my early to mid 20s, pushing 60 hours a week easily. But the work itself was really challenging and a great learning experience, and my bosses were respected in the field. I did that for about four years and got headhunted for a much more relaxed corporate job in the same field. A bit of climbing the corporate ladder, and now I’m in my late 30s with a high seniority corporate job, 100% WFH, complete control over my schedule and hours, and honestly most days I do maybe 3 or 4 hours of work and spend the rest on family or just chilling. Salary is pretty great, at least for Japan – hit 10m a few years back and a good bit higher now.
My current job is absolutely thanks to the experience and connections I made from hustling in my 20s. No regrets at all and happy I never took a break. And yes this was all in Japan.