I work for one of the bigger chain eikaiwas. I have an adult student who is a perfectly pleasant person to speak to, relatively fluent, etc—nothing personal against him or teaching him. However, for lack of a better word, he’s gross. He’ll take off his shoes (without socks) in class and touch his feet/toes, shove his hand under his shirt to scratch his chest, pull down his mask to rub his nose with his fingers, so on and so forth.
He does shower and take care of himself in other ways, so it’s not that kind of hygiene problem, but those little behavioral things that make me uncomfortable in private lessons, and other students clearly massively uncomfortable in group classes. With a child student, it’s easy enough to talk to their parents or establish/confirm class rules, but an adult student in a setting where I am younger than the student and have been teaching there for less time than he has been a student is a little trickier.
I don’t think my discomfort is unfounded, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice for trying to politely address this without rocking the boat too much in terms of the student’s comfort. Should I be the one to mention it? Should I go to the Japanese staff and have them communicate it? Should I just suck it up since his fellow students haven’t complained? Anything is appreciated.
11 comments
You can tell your manager, ask them to counsel the student, but I’d lay odds on them saying there is nothing they can do, he’s a client, don’t want to upset him, etc.
Maybe they could do something about the shoes easily by making a public reminder to all not to remove.
Not much to do, really. I had a girl in one of my college classes who absolutely reeked! It was so bad that nobody wanted to sit next to her, and I basically held my breath while in close proximity.
There’s nothing really to do, except put up with it.
I’ve had similar issues with adult students at my place of business (which is my own–I co-own a small business). We have several adult men who are neatly dressed and look great but have THE WORST B.O. I’ve ever smelled in Japan. And we also had an elderly woman who would also take her shoes off during lessons; she walked to our place and usually had foot odor bad enough that I could smell it from across the table.
As you say, with adult students these sorts of problems are more difficult to address. I don’t feel comfortable confronting people about such sensitive issues. We (business partner and I) usually just open the windows and doors for ventilation when these people are present. I’m sure other students also notice but no one ever says anything (because, Japan).
I don’t think it’s out of line to ask someone to keep their shoes on in the lesson. It might embarrass him a little, but most people would just feel a bit bad but then be over it by the end of the lesson.
The other things, well … much harder to address. You’re not his mom, wife, gf, or other person who he has to answer to, so I think you’re going to have to ignore it. We often have to ignore such things in the people we work with in order to get along. It’s annoying, but that’s life!
Maybe with the shoes situation you could at the start of the lesson ymake a general statement addressed to everyone after greetings like “Just a reminder to please keep your mask on and refrain from removing your shoes in the middle of the class” that way it’s before he has a chance to do those things and won’t stick out like a sore thumb? Other than that I don’t really know.
I once had a student who would do something gross.
After I couple of weeks I managed to steer the conversation around to cultural differences between the US and Japan and mention that in the US it would be consider very rude to do that. They may have been a little embarrassed but never did it again and are still with the school years later.
Even from a purely business perspective it’s not a good thing to ignore, just because the other students don’t complain doesn’t mean they aren’t bothered and it could motivate them to find another school.
Unfortunately , in the eikaiwa business, you need to go to the management and explain the situation. Then, they’ll most likely do nothing. At least you’ll be covered though.
It’s pretty bad if you talk directly to him and he complains. Even if he just casually mentions it to the staff without complaining, they’ll still come down on you about it.
If your staff are cool, they might say something about the shoes. But I wouldn’t expect much more.
I’m not sure about the other stuff, but the pulling down his mask to touch his face should be a red line, or at least would be in my classroom. I was hesitant to do it at first, but at this point in the pandemic I’m used to politely but firmly asking adult students to pull their masks back over their nose. You said he’s pretty fluent right? Something along the lines of, “I’m so sorry Mr. Soandso, but can I ask you to keep your mask on for the lesson?” He might be a little embarrassed, but in my experience thus far having to do this to adults (as opposed to with kids), they only need to be told once and any awkwardness is gone by the next lesson.
The other stuff is a bit harder, since you don’t have the backing of public health guidelines. But you can definitely enforce rules with adults. Just be polite, and make sure these are actually the rules of your school.
Does your school allow shoes in the building ? No slippers ? If you guys have like a weekly notice, I would address it in there like rules for students to follow and things the school has noticed recently in terms of student hygiene. Mention it in there so it’s not directly being addressed to him but if he reads it maybe he will be conscious of it?
japanese people have no trouble telling foreigners when they’re not following rules. it’s your class(room), and you’re the leader in the situation. like a band-aid, it’s much better to get uncomfortable for a few seconds than drag it out for weeks/months.
and based on personal experience, a lot of people in the world are so blissfully unaware of others, that they have no idea what they’re doing is making them uncomfortable …insane, but extremely true i’ve come to find.
Personally, I would just ask him to try to maintain a professional atmosphere. If he asks for an example, tell him about taking off his shoes.