Having trouble making friends in Tokyo

I’m originally from a small town in Norway and I’ve been living in Tokyo for a few months now, and I haven’t really been able to make any friends at all. I’m pretty reserved as a person, and I’ve never really been any good at making friends, I’ve only ever made friends either with people at school or online through games. I’ve heard that it’s easier to make friends in Tokyo if you go out drinking, although I’m not really the biggest fan of going out for drinks/clubbing, and I don’t really have anyone to go out drinking with to begin with. I don’t really have any hobbies or too many interests either, other then stuff like playing video games, listen to music, or watching anime, but those are just pastimes if anything. Meeting people online seem like it could be somewhat easier, although I’m not really sure how to meet people online who are in Tokyo, other then through dating apps and language exchange apps ofcourse, though dating or language exchange isn’t really what I’m looking for or what I’m interested in, I guess I’m only really interested in finding someone that I can hang out and just chill with. I’ve tried using apps like Meetup, although a lot of the meetups that I see seems to be either related to drinking/clubbing, language exchange, or directed towards different niches and hobbies. I’m also not really too good when it comes to being around a lot of people, which makes a lot of these meetups seem pretty daunting to me. I find myself spending a lot of my time either inside my appartment or going out for late night walks, which I know isn’t really the best, although I’m not really sure of what else I can do. I guess I might be seeming a bit unreasonable, sorry about that.. I would love to hear any thoughts or suggestions

11 comments
  1. Hello! Fellow gaijin😅 I’ve been in Japan for 3 years. I understand the feeling, I had a hard time adjusting to the way people socialize in Japan. Back in Mexico I would just have people over for lunch or dinner but that doesn’t seem common out here.
    What games do you play? Dm me let’s play a game of something

  2. Well mate, if you’d like to discuss and quantitatively and exhaustively judge every single egg sold in Tokyo, you can join me. If not, you can still DM me to make a friend, maybe play some video games or something.

  3. It will get me banned, BUT

    Lack of effort and playing victim card

    ” although I’m not really the biggest fan of … ”

    ” I don’t really have any hobbies or too many interests either, ….”

    “… isn’t really what I’m looking for or what I’m interested in ….”

  4. Hey, i’d love to make a friend in tokyo, dm me. We can hang out go for walks, play games (although i only play pokemon)

  5. Living in a share house is a good way to meet new people, there are social recidences where 80+ people live with shared lounge etc. Fairly easy to get to know people there.

  6. “I’m also not really too good when it comes to being around a lot of people” if this is the case, then maybe try tinder or other dating apps and look for people of same sex. I know it sounds weird, but especially in Tokyo, it is a good way to find friends assuming your Japanese is on conversational level. Of course there are English speakers there as well.

    Just point it out in your bio that you are looking for **FRIENDS**. It’s common among Japanese people as far as I know.

  7. Honestly yeah second a good sharehouse. It’s like free friends. There will be some people you don’t get along with, but there’ll be someone you do.

  8. Meetup and other similar groups and sites are a great way to get out and get to know people, there are events all the time for a variety of interests etc. but yeah there are lots of people with similar situations and it’s just about getting out there and meeting people.

    No hobbies? Start a new one or join a networking group and find hobbies you never expected to be interested in. I met someone that joined a meetup event to make friends and ended up getting really into hiking and biking.

    Best of luck 👍

  9. Even though the meet ups are related to drinking, each time I go I drink Oolong Tea.

    I also join a basketball group or even a small coffee get together group.

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