Unmotivated boy

I’m teaching a five-year-old boy at his home once a week.

He’s very smart and very capable, but I cannot get him to engage in my lessons at all, no matter how carefully I plan and execute them.

He wanders around the room and refuses to do any activity for more than a couple of minutes. The only English word he has mastered so far is “no!”

His parents work from home, and are busy. I can’t rely on their help.

I did mention to his mother that he is not in the right space for learning English right now, but she is adamant that he likes me, greatly enjoys my “lessons” and wants to continue. Apparently on lesson days he goes out on the pavement and waits for me to arrive (aw, bless!), and when I leave the house he pretends to tag along with me.

We are using a textbook that his mother selected, and he really doesn’t like it. But he doesn’t like anything else, either.

Can you advise me?

17 comments
  1. Go out with some chalk and try doing a lesson on the street outside.

    Many times kids will act completely different because of it. I had a group of three kids that were deathly silent until we went outside and did word study and review games out there.

  2. I think more information about your lesson plans would be helpful. What age do you usually teach? Are you experienced in teaching young children? A 5 year old losing focus after 5 minutes is hardly unusual.

  3. I think you should follow his lead. Just commentate everything he does. Play toys with him. He’s still at an age where we can pick up a lot “naturally.”

    You said that you like structure in your lessons, and I agree with that for the most part, but it seems your structure isn’t working for this particular kid.

    I would start with free play, commentated (“choo choo! All aboard!” “Wow! Anpanman is flying! Let’s save Melonpanna!” . Have him pass you whatever color ball/toy (may I have the green train?). If you manage to do a song or single worksheet page, consider that a success. If not, that’s okay too. Slowly reduce free play time as he gets comfortable. Introduce “hello” “goodbye” and “cleanup” songs slowly, when the kid is ready. Just have fun and take it slow.

  4. I would speak with the mother and do half a lesson with the book and the second half of the lesson with games, songs as the reward.

  5. When you say you use a textbook, how much of your teaching time is using the text? I use a text at that age, and a 30 minute lesson is roughly: 5 minutes warm up, 5 minutes review, 10 minutes textbook content without the text, 5 minutes of the text, and 5 minutes final activity.

    So the content is 25 minutes of the text, but the actual textbook use in lesson is only about 5 minutes. I have problems with 3-4 year olds sometimes, but usually by five, they’re able to get with some structure

  6. Five year olds have a very short attention span. I would go with cards and games and draw upon the textbook when needed. Also, colouring in, active physical games and rhythm/wordplay are great ways to break up the lesson. It’s much better to have numerous short bursts of an activity than one longer session. So if you do some colouring, for example, focus on one section and then leave it for a bit, then come back to it.
    Does your local library have any decent kids encyclopedias? Thumbing through that together might stimulate some interest and serve as a well of nouns or which to base your sentences on. Use the words he wants to use. If he likes bugs, cars, superheroes or whatever, then use that as your talking point.

  7. Honestly? You seem to have him in a good place with you. If you keep on encouraging and praising when he does do the work, it will eventually add up. I mean, he likes you, so I wouldn’t worry about “results” with a 5 year old.

    This is coming from raising a daughter as a super busy person. She never really “liked” English until she turned about 8. Before then it was always like pulling teeth even though we really enjoy each other’s company. 🙂

    Keep at it and I’m sure it is will be okay.

  8. Structure and textbooks, IMHO, benefit groups or older children. Of course, the structure is valuable but he’s five and by himself, there’s some room for exploration. Since, he is only five, as it may have been mentioned just play games with him that involve English. Keep it abundantly simple and within a context, a five-year-old can understand. If there is key vocabulary in the textbook then play karuta with it. Or, create artwork that resembles the picture or the word itself. Games are critical, textbooks are too advanced for that age.

  9. Textbooks aren’t interactive.

    I would choose things he can interact with.
    Books like hungry hungry caterpillar can introduce word groups like fruits vegetables sweets, but then have flash cards that you can play games with, after practicing listen and repeat, categorize them, fruits vegetables sweets, food you like, don’t like, etc. where the boy gets to pick up and hold the cards, makes choices, controls the result by making decisions.

    Then “What’s for breakfast lunch dinner desert? Game.
    they can choose from various items, some of which are “wrong”, such as pizza for breakfast or cupcakes for dinner instead of desert,

    Teacher” What’s for breakfast?” Boy: ”Toast! Teacher: “Yum yum!

    Teacher” What’s for Lunch? Boy:”Ice cream!“ Teacher: Oh no! Tummy ache!” (With theatrics)

    Teacher” What’s for dinner? Boy:”Pizza!“ Teacher: “Yum yum!

    Teacher”What’s for desert?” “Broccoli!” Teacher: Yuck!” (With theatrics)

    Three tummy aches means switch roles.

    This can move on to shopping language.
    Flash Cards of food are placed out, with a number of small items (I used laminated pictures of the item) under them, but one or two having nothing under them,
    one is selling and one is buying.

    Customer: One orange please!”

    Check under card, the two pictures are there.
    Clerk: “Here you are! One Orange!” (Hands one of the laminated orange pictures)

    Customer: Thank you,”

    Clerk:” Anything Else?”

    Customer:”two ice cream please!

    And so on until they ask for too many or there is nothing under the card, then clerk says, “Sorry! Sold out”
    And the roles reverse.

    Short phrases like these are within their abiity and by the end they have interactively practiced foods, numbers, short phrase dialogs.
    Move to another activity before he gets bored with it, so you can use it for review later.

    This is just one example, but little boys like to grab and hold things, move about, be the ones to make decisions.

    flash cards can be grouped, used to play concentration type games, etc. He’s jumping up and moving around because he has too much energy, give an outlet of that energy and his enjoyment and focus on your lesson will improve.

  10. I think it’s really nice that you’re going the extra mile for this kid!

    I haven’t taught for aaaages, but one that stands out as a huge success for a class of surly tween fashion students was building a maze out of desks and having two teams shouting directions to a blindfolded teammate, in a race to see who could navigate the Evil English Teacher’s Labyrinth(tm) the fastest.

    For a five-year-old you could simplify it to teaching left/right/straight and have him guide you through a little obstacle course in the living room or garden. Ham it up like crazy, get him laughing, and he’ll remember those direction words forever!

  11. Hello! I hope you’re alright OP! I’m also teaching kids English and they’re 9-10 year olds. Playing games with them about English Can really help! You can use the textbook as your guide but execution must be like a game. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best, OP! 🤗

  12. Find something that you can relate to him about. Think “What else does he like?” I have a small class at my school with 2 students, one loves Doraemon and trains, the other, wrestling and Kirby. Every activity in this class features a mash up of these 4 things.

  13. Ask the parents if you would have their permission to take their kid to a local park or venues for an hour or two.

    When I was learning Spanish from my tutor, at home exercises became a drag because I would constantly be distracted (ADD) by nearly everything in my environment.

    When my tutor and I took walks around my neighborhood, she would point out random objects and say their name in Spanish and I would follow lead. Eventually I picked up on the syntax with her and the rest fell a little more naturally.

    Perhaps a change of scenery would do wonders for your client, and it would show the parents how engaged YOU are in ensuring this child’s success.

  14. There’s a game called AGO that is similar to UNO. He might enjoy learning English while doing that. Of course he can’t read so just point at pictures and say the word

  15. Like others have said, a textbook for him is too early. Follow him and see what he wants to do instead. Play with toys? Make that into a game, for ex if he chooses a toy say what that is called in English and play with him. For every toy he plays with just say the English word/s. I always got told to do the lessons as fun games/activities the student enjoys!
    If he like football for ex, play with him but let him know the rules and words in English. It’s a win-win situation!

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