Like several others, my own marriage of 10+ years is probably coming to an end in the near future. We have kids, but I think we’re both doing our best to ensure its amicable and that we will have equal time with the kids, who we agree need both parents in their lives.
I’ve had a hard time making friends in Japan and as my kids will likely stay in Japan, I’ll stay in large part to be with them. I think I have a reasonable strategy to help the kids deal with it as best as possible but am unsure about myself.
Are there men’s divorce support groups in Japan? While maybe not the best place, I’ve been looking through the meetups (is there a better place to search?)
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Sorry about the end of your nuptials. Glad to hear you’re both being adults about the children and keeping you in their lives. All of us who have children here come to the ultimate realization eventually that we are going to be here the rest of our lives if we want to maintain a close relationship with them married or not.
Can’t offer anything other than condolences and a joke to hopefully make you laugh – “You’ll find the divorced men’s support group meeting at closing time in the HUB hitting on the Hanako’s who couldn’t hook up earlier”.
There is a website called “Stippy” that has at least five years of comments from foreign men married to Japanese women in “dried up you know what.” It may not be as active as it used to be but the comments of despair and overall issues would be quite helpful and possibly cathartic in your case. I saw an email there so perhaps reach out or revive it by starting a thread.
Surprisingly, and I say this with all honesty that I saw that there was absolutely NOT even ONE (or maybe only one) sarcastic comment, no poisonous tongues, no finger wagging, no ridicule, no shameful comments, etc.
They were all commiserating, self reflecting of course and even a good percentage of women married to Japanese men chimed in and shared their experiences.
I actually hesitate even sharing it here because this subreddit tends to have some not so pleasant characters.
Divorce sucks but what sucks more is how well you fare post divorce with kids unfortunately correlates with how much money you have if yours is as ugly and at each other’s necks as mine which I hope isn’t the case.
Support groups for men? Yeah we don’t really get those.
That said, I’m sure all of here wish you the best in getting over this.
There is a Facebook group for foreign men with Japanese partners. They were doing a weekly online chat once a week. You could try posting there and see if anyone wants to meet up for drinks.
Good luck with everything brother.