I’m 22F just moved to Tokyo for work and living alone for the first time. The first couple of months were great. I explored the city and played tourist on my own. As some time passed, I began to feel extremely lonely and depressed, especially when spending my days off in my empty apartment not having anyone to talk to. The sheer amount people in Tokyo is overwhelming and I feel almost unwanted when I see groups of people my age having fun. Spending extended amounts of time without socializing or forming meaningful connections has been affecting my mental health ;-;
Most of my coworkers are in their 30s-40s and are busy with their family. Most people I’ve met in their 20s are students and are busy with school or already have friends from their class or dorm. I am apprehensive of going to international meetups because I don’t want to get stuck talking to people who are just there to get laid.
I know it’s not as easy making friends when you’re not a student anymore. But I don’t want to spend my time in Japan moping around :’) I guess what I want to know is has anyone had a similar experience? Where can I find circles, meetup groups, or bars/clubs where there are friendly people in their 20s (foreign or Japanese) who are eager to form new friendships? Someone recommended living in a social residence or going to an international club event. Does it work? Please don’t recommend dating apps lol I want friends not a relationship.
4 comments
Can you speak Japanese? Do you have a hobby in particular?
Drawing from personal experience, after 20-somethings I’d combat loneliness by either
a) by copulating with opposite (or same) gender or doing some related activity
b) doing other creative activities with the not-sexual-target-gender/-person ie. hobbies
c) make somewhat meaningful connections through work
Just going around out asking your neighbours to come and play doesn’t work anymore sadly
If you can believe the profiles of Japanese girls in Japan 90% are only looking for friends (You should not believe)
I experienced the same thing in my 20s (not in Japan though). I joined a local sports team and some of those people have been my best friends since! Might be worth seeing if there is something similar or a club you can join to meet knew people. Sports is a good one because you can go there for fitness so no one expects you to talk straight the way. Gyms are the same as well. Over time you see the same People and you’ll start to talk to them. I hope this helps you. Stay strong and Reddit is here if you need it!