Hi. I found a better job in translation that I really want to pursue, but my boss at my Eikaiwa did not take the news well and I’m looking for advice.
I am giving them two month’s notice, which I think is perfectly reasonable, but they want me to stay until June so they can find a new teacher. To be absolutely fair, they did have another teacher leave recently and I did sign a contract for the new year, but the other teacher leaving has nothing to do with me and I know that the contracts are in no way legally binding.
My boss literally broke down crying and kept saying how concerned she was for the company’s reputation after losing two teachers. I guess the kindergartens they work with expect to see the same teacher all year, which is a little strange.
I guess I’m just looking for some perspectives. This new job will be better for me in almost every way, but I don’t want to burn bridges and I don’t want everyone at the school to hate me. It is completely unreasonable how much emotional manipulation they are putting me through considering that you can quit most jobs with two WEEKS notice rather than two months, but I still sort of feel like an asshole. Has anyone been in a similar situation and what did you do?
38 comments
Reiterate that you are leaving and thank them for the opportunity to work there. 2 months notice is more than enough time and should also be enough time for them to find a replacement.
Keep apologising, but stick to your guns.
Two months notice is perfectly fine. Whoever else left and what that does to the company you’re leaving is *none of your business*. It doesn’t matter. I am currently looking for another job, and sure, I like my colleagues and I feel a bit bad for planning to bail on them, but at the end of the day I don’t have the capacity to care about what they’ll have to do within the company when I’m gone.
If you find something better, go! You owe that company nothing. They paid, you worked, that’s it.
If they really wanted you to stay they would counter with a better offer.
They only care about their reputation, not your livelihood. In the Ekiawa and ALT industry, If the tables were turned, they’d have no problem getting rid of you and hanging you out high and dry.
Crying is a new one but I’ve had this kind of pressure put in me when leaving various positions before.
Be careful because they might be laying the groundwork to ask you to do extra work when you’re wrapping up. This could range from reasonable things like detailed reports on your classes for the next teacher, to less reasonable requests like asking you to recruit your replacement. Don’t let them force you into doing stuff you don’t want to before you leave.
In any case, I have learnt to accept that they might have some animosity towards me and keep things professional, and also try and limit my communication with them to what is necessary for my work. Also maybe be somewhat empathetic – the manager might find recruiting difficult, and also might be stressed out, so this is more work for her.
Don’t be too stressed yourself – I have found a few times that they change their tune after they come to accept it, and you might still end up having a nice end to your time there.
However, remember it’s not your fault, happens all the time and that it’s on them entirely to handle their end of your resignation.
Be an adult and keave
For Japan, there is no better time to replace staff than the end of March/start of April. No student would think twice about a change of staff in this period
I help run an Eikawa, and we appreciate our teachers giving us as much notice as possible. Two months is great, especially right now as March/April is prime hiring time.
Your boss is not being reasonable.
Her problem.
Its your life. I know it can be hard to see people upset because of oneself but look at the big picture here.
You found a great job. Your boss can keep her employees. Not your problem
This is very typical of Japanese companies. I worked for a huge toy company here and when I tried to quit, I had multiple higher ups trying to get me to stay, take me out to dinner and such but no counter offer of better working conditions. Ultimately, I found out my direct boss didn’t care if I stayed—she just didn’t want her end of the year review to look bad if someone working under her quit. I ended up leaving that hell hole and am much happier now!
Don’t get guilt tripped. Escape eikaiwa while you still can.
They only care about money. No need to give that much notice. 1 month is plenty. If they don’t like it, tell em to fuck off 😂
Fam, it’s simple. Ask for more money than the new eikawa is offering. If they agree, get it in writing. If not, your boss can cry in her own time.
Guilt ain’t paying your rising living expenses.
2 months notice is more than enough. Hold your ground. None of the stuff with the business is your responsibility.
I’ve had a manager physically hold my arm to stop me leaving begging me to stay. They found a replacement within the week and fired me lol. Fuck em.
Ask for more money… I asked for a raise and I was told no I then gave them my one months and did not look back. In the end of the day you have to do you.
Don’t stay. It’s business. they’d cut you to save yhe bottom line if they had to
Have you given notice yet? I mean more than just verbally.
Do that now. In hard copy and in email. State the current date and your last day of employment.
It’s possible they think you haven’t resigned yet and are just talking about it.
You are being more than fair and reasonable. Two months is more than enough time for any company to hire someone.
If it helps consider that her tears aren’t for you, they’re for **herself**, for how this makes **her** look, and for **her** income stream. If she was crying because she liked you, or because she actually cared about your future, that would be a completely different thing, but what you’re dealing with here is her self-interest and self-pity.
If they really want you to stay they’ll make a counter-offer of some kind – improved pay, conditions, or something. But we both know that isn’t coming, because your boss doesn’t care about **you**, she cares about **herself**.
I know you know this already on some level, but reading it here might help to crystalize the ideas that are floating around in your thoughts and help you see this for what it is – **selfish self-interest at your expense** (quite literally). She doesn’t care about you. She doesn’t care that staying is worse for you. She just cares about herself.
I hope this helps you to resist this emotional blackmail, because that’s what it is. **Selfish, self-interested emotionally manipulative blackmail**. You’re being more than reasonable. Two months is plenty of time for them to find someone else. You’re being extremely fair.
Now you do the Japanese thing. You look thoughtful, you say you’ll consider their position and think about it. You don’t withdraw your notice, you just say you’ll think about the issue. Then two weeks before you plan to leave you remind them in written form of your plan to leave and you make your exit as quietly as possible. This is the way people in Japan do it generally, it minimises the period of discomfort for everyone involved. You’ve been as kind as possible in giving them an advanced heads-up 2 months in advance – they returned that kindness with emotional blackmail. Okay, time to change strategy if that’s how they want to play the game.
“You don’t want to burn bridges”
That is a completely understandable sentiment, but if the manager is this upset/manipulative then that bridge is burnt whenever/however you leave. If they decide to paint you as a bad employee you can’t avoid it whatever you do, so you might as well take the opportunity now, rather than miss out and regret it later. Even if you do piss them off, there isn’t anything they can do to you in the future regarding employment with other businesses. They cannot sour your resume with a bad reference and if they did you could consult legal services.
It is very simple. It is a business relationship, and the only way a business can express appreciation to an employee is by increasing wages or improving working conditions to the point where the employee feels that it is worth staying. Not by saying “we really appreciate you” not by giving you a lollipop at the end of the day, not by giving you a false smile. …money or conditions. That’s it.
I do understand your predicament because I have ended up doing stuff I didn’t want to, due to being manipulated by an authority figure. I don’t know how old you are, but often age plays a factor here. Young 20 to 30 year olds tend to be more easily persuaded with platitudes and pleading, but once you hit 40-45 you don’t do anything you don’t want to do unless it benefits you or your family somehow. I’m generalising of course, but that is a common pattern.
Good luck.
You gave them ample notice, it’s not your problem.
Lol, you are a saint for giving two months’ notice.
Her tears may be real, but those yennies your new company are offering you are also real.
Submit your request in writing, don’t worry about the rest. Go chase your real career, m8.
I’ll share my experience, living here for 11 years with five jobs under my belt—first three in Eikaiwa, the most recent two in Japanese companies:
My company (the Japanese company) asked me to stay until they found my replacement. I told them that I gave them my intent and notice, and finding my replacement is not my problem.
I’m still on friendly terms with everyone at the previous job except the old farts who want to die on their company loyalty hill. The boss said he’d welcome me back if things don’t go well with the new job.
Is there some social reason you are placing importance on keeping things amicable? If this translation job is what you want to do, stand firm on it. Even if you inconvenience them, at best they will forgive you and at worst you never have to see or deal with them again.
Even my past Eikaiwa jobs ended in those places being sour about me leaving; something about betraying them and the students I worked with—just remember that there’s a chance you could do everything right here and still have people be unhappy with you. I did everything by the books from giving notice to follow through for who was next, and they still found something to be toxic about.
Just speaking from my personal experience of job changing. I don’t regret the decisions I made. The job is not for the company, the job is for you to earn and make a satisfactory living. If you can’t do that… move on, be polite but firm about it.
DO NOT let your emotions affect your judgement here. You gave them two months notice. That is extremely generous. They have more than enough time to find a new teacher. If they really wanted you to stay longer, they’d offer a salary increase or more benefits.
Do what is best for your future. Unless you absolutely love teaching, eikaiwa is a completely dead end job. Tell your manager you appreciate all they’ve done for you, but you can’t pass up this offer.
In all honesty, if your eikaiwa hit hard times, they wouldn’t have a problem letting you go. Favors between employees and companies usually only flow one way.
I run an alt and it comes with the territory imo. People leave, go home, fine better jobs, move to a different part of the country.
Stand your ground and follow what you want to do!
They will screw you at the earliest opportunity when it works for them. This is business. You owe them nothing. 2 months is insanely generous. 2 weeks is a kindness, unless its specifically in your contract somewhere. Fuck them.
20-year veteran here.
The. Eikawa. Will. Be. Fine.
Enjoy your new job.
Everyone has already said that you’ve given ample notice and should go where the money and passion is, but I’d also like to add: I find a manager crying in front of an employee extremely unprofessional.
Their business problems are not your concern. You’ve given them a generous amount of notice. As owners/managers, it is now their responsibility to deal with their customers. Stick to your notice period and then move on. You can bet your life that if they didn’t need your services they would drop you like a hot rock.
You are giving them two months’ notice, which is more than fair.
If a teacher or two leaving is enough to ‘ruin the company’s reputation’, they have far bigger problems, and you sticking around won’t help that.
Sad but the truth is, you owe the company nothing. Your first priority is providing for you and your family, not providing for your current company’s owner’s family. They are not family, they are not your responsibility. They paid you to work. You worked. Now you won’t. That’s the start and end of your responsibilities.
Putting it more bluntly – they don’t give a shit about you, why would you worry about ‘burning bridges’ at a company that is trying to emotionally blackmail you into not doing something that is clearly better for you? Good companies and coworkers would be *happy* for you, albeit sad to see you go. They aren’t worth it. Leave, and good riddance.
What does your boss do to contribute besides cry and guilt trip people? Change your two months notice to two weeks and chill. No need to stick around for emotional parasites.
I’ve had seen a few nervous breakdowns from bosses in the Eikaiwa field for the same reason. It’s not your actions, it’s just the industry. Just do what’s best for you while being as professional as possible.
Also, the people at your school that you have an actual connection with will be happy for you.
This is kind of off the topic of your job (which you should just quit and move on to translating), but once you do get into the translation industry, make sure to look into the translation associations in Japan! JAT (Japan Association of Translators), Amelia (more EN > JP focused, but still a good pool of companies looking for freelancers), and JTF (Japan Translators Federation). JAT hosts the IJET conference every year, and JTF hosts the 翻訳ç¥ã‚Š every year. The IJET conference is finally in-person again this year at Tokyo Big Sight, and I’m definitely going to go. If you’d like to join, DM me!
The Eigo Sensei Scarcity Paradox. Eikawas complain about how impossible it is to find teachers and then refuse to raise pay to retain employees they know and love. You’ve done your duty. Onwards and upwards OP. Congrats on the new gig.
You don’t owe them shit. They’re manipulating you. Leave.
Burn those shitty bridges. You **won’t** regret it, trust me. But, you **will** hate yourself for kowtowing to their manipulation.
Never give more than the minimum notice. I learned it the hard way too. you’re doing them a favor but now you just have to deal with two months of passive aggression
This is so typical lmao. They’re just doing this because it’s easier to try guilt you into staying versus finding some other poor sap to fill the role and guaranteed they don’t really care *that* much about you.
You’re already being extremely generous giving them two months as is, stick to your current plan and move into translation.
An opportunity to get out of English teaching is one you should never, absolutely ever pass on. Gratz on the new job!