Do i need help?

Hi. Ive lived in japan osaka for roughly 11 years. I have developed a habit of using alcohol to lessen my stress over the years. I am the director of a very successful international school. I drink roughly 3-8 9% cans per day during the weekdays and 2 bottles of whiskey per weekend. I know its alot and i have tried to find help but i havent found any sort of real support for alcoholism yet. Is there anyone who can give me any sort of advice about this issue?

26 comments
  1. Yes you do need help. I’m sorry I don’t have any resources for you but I worry you can’t keep up that pace for long.
    If the stress is workrelated then either change in duties or work might be in order. I do worry though that any reason you give yourself to explain your drinking might change to a new reason if you change it. We are good at making excuses for our habits after all.

  2. There’s a lot of alcoholics in Japan because a lot of the culture is surrounding it.

    2 whole bottles of hard alcohol every weekend is a lot.

  3. Wish I had a resource for you. That’s a bit too much for the body in the long run.

    The biggest problem with drinking is it’s really freaking good and it does eliminate stress and other issues. Unfortunately it’s messes up our bodies quickly though.

    The only thing I can say is you need to find something that can fill the void and feel just as good. Video games, camping, hobby, travel… Whatever it is it needs to fulfill the same purpose as the alcohol or it won’t work.

    Good luck.

  4. Yes you do. Wondering if you need help is already a diagnostic criteria for alcoholism, and the quantities you drink are high.

    You can start by reading about alcoholism from a reputable medical source, for example the British NHS website.

    Let me preface the rest by saying that I am not a doctor but I supported a family member during their recovery (they are now 4.5 years sober). I wouldn’t stop cold turkey because given the amounts you are drinking, you could get the shakes, delirium tremens or even a seizure. So either taper slowly or, even better, speak to a doctor before stopping. They can make sure you do it safely by giving you meds to reduce the withdrawal effects, and for maintenance, there are meds that make you sick when you drink too.

    For more long-term recovery, there are also many Alcoholic Anonymous groups in Japan. Tokyo has English-language groups, and maybe Osaka does too. Or perhaps you can go to a Japanese one.

    AA is not the right fit for everyone, but you could give it a try.

    Another avenue that you can explore in parallel is therapy and psychiatric treatment. You could be in need of therapy or meds to address the underlying problems that lead you to drink.

    Finally, I was unable to find good inpatient rehab in my part of Japan, but I know that southern Europe has a bunch of decent private ones.

    It’s a long journey but my sober relative says that it was very worth it. Best of luck.

  5. Well, you’ve already helped yourself by realising your problem and looking for help.

    If you don’t speak Japanese well, you could try overseas helplines. For example, AA in the U.K. has a free helpline number on their front page. Can’t do links here, but google Alcoholics Anonymous AA uk.

    It’s a free number, but I’d recommend using Skype with some credit to call any international numbers.

  6. I am usually the first to role my eyes at how western people (especially ‘sober’ people) condemn any and all alcohol use immediately- but I think by any metric a) that is quite a lot of alcohol and b) the notion that needing help crossed your mind is a very good sign that you may. Any alcohol consumption that continues even when it is causing stress to your body and mind may be unhealthy and I don’t have any advice beyond what others have said but I want to send positive vibes to you: recognizing that there may be an issue is so difficult and you have made the first step so please reward yourself by treating your health as a number one priority. Good luck to you!

  7. In addition to be usual recommendations, you could speak to a doctor about this. There are medications that can help treat alcoholism.

  8. 8 cans of 9% is about the same as 16 cans of regular strength beer. Each of those 8 cans is about 4.5 units of alcohol.

    A standard bottle of whiskey is about 30 units, which is more than an adult should drink in a week. You put one of those away in a day, and then another one the next day.

    In other words it sounds like you could be drinking north of 200 units a week. You are literally poisoning yourself.

  9. If you are drinking that much you need to stop drinking under the supervision of a medical professional. Alcohol withdrawal is nasty and sometimes deadly.

  10. First step is recognizing it as a problem, and being willing to deal with it.

    The next thing is to figure out whats causing it.

    Its probably a mixture of things. Work, Family, etc.

    After that, its probably going to mean making changes.

    And *that* will mean making life changes, and sticking to them.

    Making life changes is hard, because they don’t just affect you.

    So for any sort of meaningful change, you need to get everyone around you onboard. They too might need to make changes or sacrifices to help you.

    Hope any of this helps!

  11. r/stopdrinking is a very supportive community. You would be welcome over there for sure!

  12. Oh my goodness, I’m really happy you are seeking help. I don’t know of any resources but please go to a doctor or psychologist and ask. I know there are some online support groups and in-person ones. Here is a link for AA in Tokyo…maybe they can give you more information about what groups are closer to Osaka…[https://www.aatokyo.org/](https://www.aatokyo.org/)

  13. I’m an alcoholic, and it sounds like you are too.

    Go and talk to your doctor, **do not** try to quit cold turkey. Just “quitting” is dangerous for booze and benzos, something I know from personal experience.
    Make sure your doctor takes this seriously, and if they don’t there are specialist clinics around, Google will point you in the right direction.

    In the meantime, I second people’s recommendations for r/StopDrinking. That sub was/is a great source of support for me in my sobriety.

    Someone also mentioned the Tokyo AA site. I have yet join a meeting with those folks, but if I had to get dry again I would *definitely* get in touch with them.

    Do you have the option to take some time off and visit a rehab facility?
    Some people find that “unplugging” for a bit helps them to get some space between themselves and the bottle at the beginning.
    While the general population in Japan (including some medical professionals) have a juvenile interpretation of addiction, there are reputable and safe services available.

    Please remember that you are not alone and you are not hopeless or helpless. Don’t worry about making big goals, this journey must be taken a day at a time.

  14. Thats a lot my friend – I think in my country, more than 4 drinks per day and 14 per week is considered an alcoholic for a man.

    Truthfully if you had the courage to post your concern on Reddit you already know the answer, and your first step is admitting your issue.

    The only problem ever, is denying yourself a happy healthy future. As for resources, try to look to your home country for support groups if the time difference allows it. Do you have friends or loved ones you can be open with?

  15. Thats way too much alcohol, I probably drink that in a year, or lets say 6 months depending where I live and what I go through. Go to a doctor or something and get your liver checked.

  16. When I read what you drink, it classifies you sternly without question as an alcoholic. Most definitely seek help. I know your career is great, but take a break and get help – IT will be the best decision you ever made.

    I want to add – you’ll be dead in 10 years if you don’t. Probably best to go back to your home country if it offers more sources of help.

  17. I have been there (in Japan). There are days, weeks of my life I don’t remember. I am glad I don’t remember because they were terrible. I wish other people wouldn’t remember either. You may have a drinking problem or you may have a situational problem. I had a benzo, drinking, relationship, work problem. The only medical help I needed was with quitting benzos. I am not going to talk about those here because it’s off topic. Just don’t get into those, if you haven’t already. Benzos and booze for people who are avoiding something is a match made in heaven in a really, really bad way.

    I was surprised to find out that my drinking problem was only psychological and I wasn’t actually physically addicted. I abused alcohol in a very bad way for a very long time. I gained an F-ton of weight. I didn’t remember anything. I would pass out everywhere. In the corridor of my apartment, in the bushes. I would wake up and start drinking. I was drinking bourbon non-stop. I had recently been laid off of work. I was living with my GF who I knew wasn’t the one. The drinking started before being laid off, but after being laid off I had no one really to account for/to so…..guess what happened? Yep. The amount shot through the roof and I never left my apartment and just slept and drank all day. It felt like I had burned a hole in my stomach and the toilet was an equally disgusting adventure.

    I drank at a similar pace as to what you have described.

    The good part.

    I was thinking I needed to get cleaned up because I was a mess. But enough wasn’t enough until it was. If you are asking people on reddit what they think then I know you still have a chance. If you didn’t ask or didn’t question it yourself then that would be a different story.

    When you’ve had enough you will know.

    I can share some things that helped me . First I tried to identify all the pain points in my life. I didn’t have the courage, energy and didn’t want to apply myself to fixing the shit I got myself into.

    I hated my job. I was bored and it sucked. I worked for Nova.

    I got laid off as I mentioned. So actually that was one problem taken care of. But I was unemployed so that was another problem. The other problem was severing ties with my GF/fiance who I was living with.

    I eventually sobered up enough to start to look for a job. I found one. I didn’t hate it. I started to sober up more and then said goodbye to my GF.

    I started measuring the amount of alcohol I was drinking. Then I wouldn’t go above a certain limit. I gradually reduced it until I got to 0 without putting unreasonable restrictions on myself. It was faster and easier than I had thought. I can’t remember how long it took. Maybe a few months. I don’t think it is easy for everyone though. What I really want to say is I hated some things in my life. I felt powerless to change them for whatever reason. I caved. I lost. I had given up rather than finding out what needed to be changed and actively changing them. For me, after unlocking those big pain points and getting the courage to address them head on everything fell in place and suddenly things became much, much easier. I was addicted to avoiding my problems more than I was to alcohol.

    I now have a much healthier relationship with alcohol and no longer abuse benzos or alcohol. I personally did not get withdrawal from stopping the booze. Relearning how to sleep took time though.

    For now find out why you are drinking. Do you hate your job? Did something happen? Set rules and guidelines, exercise and health routines. Start investing in yourself. Your work is hard. You deserve a real break. Take care of yourself. Quit if you have to. Make some small changes first. For example get those curtains you have been wanting. Get a haircut. Make easy changes first. They are visible and are a symbol that you have power over your environment. They will tell you every time you see them that you are trying to change and that you can change. Good luck. The darkness does go away.

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