Obligatory throw away because to much personal info on main.
My Japanese wife and I are building a house. We chose to build through a regional chain. We started meeting with them in early June of last year. They said the planning period usually lasts around three months. We took 6.
We were never Karens. In fact we got along really well with our handler, so well that when our interior decorator had to be removed from some of her cases, our handler volunteered us as he knew we were easy going and agreeable. We were meticulous with the planning, but never demanding and we apologized several times for being so 細かい (I can’t think of a good English word).
When we got the 4 month mark, our handler suggested we take 2 more as the way things were lined up they’d have to wait anyway for weather things. So the delay wasn’t 100% us anyway.
Right about the time our handler took us as clients, he’d decided to quit. His plan was to stay on until his 5 other clients and we finished building. However, he had some disagreements with the heads of the firm and left early at the end of January.
Our planning was 100% done and we were just waiting for government approval to start building. We were handed over to a new guy and we’ve met with him twice, both times at his request.
Yesterday, my wife asked him a question on line and he responded with a line stamp that answered it. The stamp was a picture of our original handler. My wife thought it was funny and went to look at the stamp pack. One of the stamps used my full name, first last and middle.
The photo was our first handler posing behind some guy we don’t know with a blue background. The rest of the stamps are kind of funny comments around other people that we know from the firm. We’ve searched for the name of the stamp pack and nothing comes up, so we assume they have it set on private or something like that.
I don’t know how to feel. I thought we had a good relationship with them, but I can’t see it as anything other than being made fun of. Like even if they had no ill will in it, the fact that it was done without our knowledge and used as kind of an internal thing and the somewhat self deprecating humor of the other stamps can only make me think it’s some sort of inside joke that I’m the brunt of.
We went to this place 3 to 4 weekends a month for the last 6 months, have make the loan with our bank and they started building today. I have no idea what to do or how to feel. Both my MIL and BILs reaction was “call the head office” but these are the people building my several hundred thousand dollar house. There’s no way calling the head office doesn’t make the shit hit the fan and who knows where it will splatter. I’d rather it not get flung all over my house.
I plan on asking my former handler about it tomorrow. If he knows something about it and what the meaning might be. I’m afraid that as he’s no longer at the company the remaining people would just scapegoat him.
Does anyone have any advice? I’m so lost.
14 comments
Tell them you didn’t concent for this.
You’re right to not mess with them at this moment. But it’s unprofessional, rude and I think making a complaint about it is definitely reasonable AFTER the house is built. And congratulations on your new home. Please don’t let this spoil any of your excitement but take screenshots and wait.
Is the line stamp litterally just your name? No picture to go along with it?
I think with just that, it is too much to assume they are using it in a negative way.
I think you are still within your rights to mention it to your handler and tell them you are uncomfortable with it but if it were me Id be light hearted about it and not act openly offended by it so that things dont get awkward. If they refuse to remove the stamp even after that then I would take it to the next step.
I agree it’s unprofessional, but given what you have at stake, I don’t feel it’s anywhere near a hill worth dying on.
Why create even more stress for yourself.
Frown a little, shake your head.
Move on and get your home built.
Oh, and:
細い。The phrase you’re looking for is: *detail oriented…*
line stamps make me angry２
In case you’re thinking they went into a lot of effort to make those stamps, there’s an app that makes it very easy.
So it’s probably not such a big deal as you think it is. I agree it’s weird though, for this kind of relationship.
if you’re worried about them fucking with the house if you confront them. Wait until it’s finished or don’t do anything… that’s your options if you’re worried
If you tap on the line stamp in the app, it brings you to the purchasing page for the pack it came from
Honestly that’s so bizarre and baffling, I don’t know if I would be mortified or furious or what. I hope the house ends up good at least.
If we try to look at it positively if they have been working on your house for so long they may talk about it often and maybe just made a random sticker about it. I’ve done something similar in Slack without being deprecated in any way, like a colleague would ask if I’m busy and I’d reply with a custom emoji with a customer logo (although not personal name that’s pretty creepy).
Unlikely but just trying to offer a different perspective since this isn’t something worth agonizing over.
It must be THAT japanese humor that we never understand … I would ask someone who can explain it for sure, like a former handler.
Just be honest, direct, and non-accusatory. Something along the lines of, “I noticed your office is using a line stamp that includes my name in the picture. I didn’t give my consent for that, so please stop using it. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Thanks for your cooperation and understanding.”
Hold your tongue until the house is done and all the “ink is dry” so to speak… then ask about.
I have a series of questions
1) why do you know so much about your previous handler, such as his disagreements with his superiors? Or the fact he had decided to quit at the time of taking you on?
2) i don’t understand the interior designer part and what “had to be removed from some of her cases” means
3) why are you communicating with them via line and not by email?
I wouldn’t raise any problems as they are building your house, but I would also be concerned about quite an amateur company building your house. You’re all entered in a business relationship, not a friendly one.