I (24F) am currently having trouble deciding what I should do. I applied for JET in November because I was passionate about Japanese culture and working with children. Part of it was also because I had been doing undergraduate research work in other countries, and just wanted to keep my “momentum” going. I had nothing to keep me here and just wanted to go away. In the meantime I got a job in my field and ended up really, really liking it. It is very stable and pays very well for my age and career.
I also recently met an amazing guy I’ve been dating for a few months. Prior to this, I always wanted to settle down and craved stability before returning to grad school, but seeing as this was probably not going to happen anytime soon, I applied to JET and decided that was the best time to do it.
Here’s the thing. With my current job and relationship, I feel like I want to stay home now. I am finally getting that stability I wanted and that was the only thing holding me back from applying to grad school/ keeping a job. I feel horrible because I landed an interview for next week, and I know so many people wish they did yet here I am wondering if I should decline. I know JET is a once in a lifetime opportunity but I am scared that once I get there I will grow some resentment for it, but I don’t want to let down all the advisors and professors that helped me apply for JET.
\*Sigh\*
Edit: Thank you all SO MUCH for the advice and for sharing similar stories. I am definitely going to interview for it and give it my all. The guy I’m with has always been supportive of me doing it too. We’ll see how it goes and maybe I’ll update post Jet results 🙂 wishing you all the best of luck on the interviews!
22 comments
Do the interview, better to have the option than not. You may not feel the way you feel now about JET in another two or three months. You also may not feel the same way about the guy in another two or three months.
well jet isn’t holding you down, YET. you were invited to an interview. you’re not actually hired yet so it’s not like you have any options to choose from? i would just move forward with the interview because it will take them another 2 months to send out the results. you don’t know what’s going to happen between that two months
I was in a very similar situation to you so I’d like to share my experience. Throughout most of my degree I knew that I really wanted to work in Japan and I was aiming for JET. I finished my degree at the end of 2019, and I had an interview at the start of 2020.
I’d also just settled into a new relationship with an amazing man (still together), and I had a job I loved at the time. So I turned down my interview. Obviously COVID happened, however I could not stop thinking about the opportunity to work in Japan before I completely settle. So I reapplied and I have an interview again. My partner is fully supportive, and it feels right to close this chapter of my life. I’m also 29F for reference.
Regardless, try not to let anyone else influence your decision. Best wishes!
As others said, do the interview, and decide later. A lot can happen in the next few months and having more and not less options is always a good thing.
Kill the guy, marry Jet, fuck the police
If you broke up, what would you have to show for it after turning down the interview?
If it’s not too much of an expense or hassle to do the interview, I would do it anyway and cross that bridge when the results come out. Since you’re on the fence, it gives you more time to think it through.
Don’t turn down the interview. Do the interview, and if you get accepted, you can decline then if you still don’t want the position.
I think it’s easy to feel after reading on reddit that you have to be all in on JET all the time with this never wavering dedication of it ect. I’m exaggerating but hopefully you get my point.
In reality many of the people on this reddit are the people that reeeealllly want to go and so they are on here a lot.
But there’s a LOT of people too who are silent lurkers who still want to go but also may be balancing other things in their life too. I applied and went through the motions of interview not really putting my eggs in the JET basket just to see what would happen. I only decided I’d definitely go a few weeks after getting accepted and only definitely definitely decided to go after getting my placement. Not because I didn’t want to go but because I had a lot of changes in my life and other goals and options too. I bet many people do the same thing but are just the less vocal about it.
I think you should do the interview and decide later. Your life can change a lot and honestly you might not find your placement til may or June so just see how things lie later on.
I wouldn’t feel bad, you put in the work.
I would just do the interview and see what happens. If you get the job, you have a bit to decide whether you want to do JET or not.
Don’t close the door yourself, you may never know what happens in a few months.
You said it yourself Jet is a once in a life time ‘Opportunity’. Cool thing about opportunities is you go for them as hard as you can so you can get the privilege of saying no. In your entire post I haven’t read anything about wanting or needing the experience. Situations change and you aren’t in the same one as a few months ago, that’s fine.
And you know what even if you decline now and end up thinking you don’t like your current situation that much anymore, you’ll still be able to apply and you will even have more confidence knowing you got selected once before.
You don’t need to escape if you like where you are standing.
>I feel horrible because I landed an interview for next week, and I know so many people wish they did yet here I am wondering if I should decline.
They ask more people to do interviews than are getting into the program. You haven’t gotten anything yet, and you dropping out is potentially less competition for those still in.
So don’t worry about the program or others. Do what is right for you.
I also second everyone saying to just do the interview if you can. If you do get a spot but end up declining, there will be a very excited alternate who will get the spot. So once again, don’t worry about the program or other people.
Do you what you think is best for you. Listen to your gut, feel what’s in your heart, and think with your head. JET will always be there. Everything else you wrote about…I feel is the true once in a lifetime opportunity. Only you know what’s best for you.
My life tip, which has served me pretty well: Never do (or give up on) anything because of a boy you met a few months ago.
Never EVER give up a decision for some dude you just met, even if you were in a committed relationship. Let me use my example, I was debating going on JET for the same reason, I was in a relationship but after thought I figured chances like this don’t come very often, so I decided to do it any got shortlisted. While here my partner cheated…can you imagine if I had stayed and turned down this opportunity for the relationship? I was only in the country 1 month when I found out. Do the interview, it doesn’t mean an automatic acceptance, but don’t let it pass you…don’t regret it later.
I say do the interview. You can always turn the position down after if you get shortlisted.
I also want to commiserate with you. I only got here in August and left behind my partner for the year. It’s really been a struggle for the both of us but I also feel like it’s making us both stronger in a way too. I will say leaving someone behind does make it really hard to always enjoy your time here. Sometimes when I’m out doing stuff I just wish he was there. And other days I just feel like counting down the days I have left cause I just want to go home.
But at the end of the day it’s a great opportunity. And I think you should at least go for it! You still have time to decide and talk to your partner. But also I think it’s ok to stay home because of them too. Don’t let people make you feel guilty for doing what you think will make you happiest. At the end it’s your life. And I wish you the best of luck in whatever journey you chose!
Did you try writing a Dear Abby for this?
Because no genuine fucks are given.
You do you.
My advice… don’t take advice from strangers on the internet.. Go to people you trust and respect…. process it and then make your own decision. I’ve met my fair share of JET’s, ALT’s and randos in Japan.. Believe me, these people can’t even pay their bills without making a Japanlife thread.
Take the interview. It’s not a commitment nor is it a guarantee you’ll get in. Always keep as many options open in life as you can because shit can change fast.
Also I turned down a full ride to stay near my hs gf. We didn’t last until hs graduation lmao
This the type of situations that multiple women in their 60s told me about. One specifically was going to teach abroad and live in Colombia. Instead she stayed with her ex who wasn’t even nice. This person you just met probably a few months ago. Don’t be 60 and regretting decisions.
EDIT: you can be a servant of capitalism later on. Until then do stuff like JET travel.
Take the interview. Do it for practice on how to interview for a job. Put your heart into preparing and sell it. By the time you hear if you get an offer, go with how you feel then. But an interview is not a job offer, so just see if it could be a good fit for you some day.
I have very similar feelings (I’m also 24f with an interview next week). I’ve been trying to go to Japan for a little over a year now since I graduated undergrad with a bachelor’s in Asian Studies and Studio Arts. After failing to acquire funds to go to grad school in Japan, I’m just kind of over it, I want to focus on pursuing art instead. But I spent four years studying Japanese language and culture, I feel like I owe it to myself to live in Japan for a while.
The interview isn’t a job offer. So I’m telling myself that by continuing with the application, I’m keeping my options open in case I’m not happy with my situation later in the year.
I hope this attitude doesn’t bother people who really wanted to be a JET but didn’t get offered an interview. I love Japan (as per half of my degree) but I think I have a very sober imagination about what life as an ALT would actually be like. I also love teaching but I know it’s not what I want to do long term.
Anyway, good look with your interview! Just do your best and see what happens, you can always turn down the job offer if you get one!