My GF is currently in a housing complex that was picked and provided by JET employers. It’s a decent 4-story complex outside of the city center.
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She has neighbours on all sides, but only one of the next to her will bang on the walls very loudly and repeatedly if she makes any noise on a phone call, which she only takes during regular daily hours and are either with me when we play games for an hour or two, or her parents for a similar amount of time. (12pm earliest, off the phone by 10:00pm at the latest).
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It’s also worth mentioning that he’s up late (8-10pm) playing games a few days a week and on voice chat with his friends? Also, he’s had a few arguing fits with a woman in his apartment at night sometimes. The few times my gf has seen him throwing trash out on her way back to her apartment he will run back into his room and shut the door. He seems like a young adult in his early twenties.
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This dude just seems unreasonable and is actively scaring her from the force and consistency of his slamming, since shes a pretty small and anxious woman. One day, after he banged at 2pm on a Saturday from her picking up the phone with me, I hung up and went over to her place (about 30 minutes from me) and knocked on his door several times and he was suddenly very quiet and did not answer, so we wrote him a letter letting him know that banging on the walls at 2pm on a Saturday is not a reasonable thing to do, and that he’s actively making our lives difficult becuase of this. We also mentioned that we’ll do our best to be quiet after 10pm.
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He’s been quiet for about a month after this note was sent, but today she received a printed letter in a clear file in her apartment mailbox. He basically picked apart the letter we wrote and said shes a nuisance and not the victim and basically said that we should only whisper indoors and never laugh or talk at a normal volume indoors. He also lied in the letter to us by saying that he bangs due to frustration when she talks late at night which has never happened? It’s always mid-day, or early evening 4-6pm when he does it.
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Anyway, we’re both teaching on JET and plan to be here for another year or two, so we’re trying to figure out what the next steps here would be. Moving doesn’t seem likely. Is this common in Japan? Should authorities be involved? We’re a bit concerned about safety as well because the dude slamming he seems a bit unstable and is a worry since she’s a woman living alone outside of the city.
7 comments
Sadly… Move.
Complain to the building manager that the neighbor is harassing you. It’s impossible to make no sound when you live in an apartment and his banging and other behavior is far worse than anything you’re doing.
The best thing to do is complain to property management every time you are hassled. Do not write letters to the neighbor. Do not confront the neighbor in person. Direct communication is not going to fix anything, and it could make the situation worse. If necessary, call the police.
You’re both on JET, so why don’t you also ask your supervisor at the BoE what they recommend? Maybe they can’t do anything, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. Also, if someone complains to them about you later, you’ll already have CYA.
As it’s a JET apartment, was it inherited from the predecessor? I would contact them and ask if they had the same issue, and what if anything they were able to do about it.
Contact the building manager definitely, but also do these things first: download a decibel reader onto a phone, there are plenty available. Take samples of background noise on a Saturday afternoon, from inside the apartment, and also from outside the door, and maybe from down the hall, Just to get a general gage on what the background level it. Sound complaints are usually based on how much above the background level you go. At my place right now it’s around 38dB(A) so that’s my benchmark. Get your benchmark.
Then, record again making the sounds that set this guy off, like talking on the phone. Have your girlfriend inside talking and take sound samples from right outside her door, and from in the hallway, and maybe from the balcony if there is one. If there aren’t both of you there get her to put on a podcast then walk about taking the samples. Record the new decibel levels. If I put a podcast on now and stand at the door, I can hear voices coming from inside, but it’s only reading at 42 now. There’s no way that making noise 4 above the background level is cause for complaint. And it will be even less through the wall than it is through a door.
Then when he bangs next, film it! Also record the sound level at the time, and the level of noise HE is making.
Try to meet the neighbor on the other side and ask them if they even have a problem with hearing noise from the apartment, if they say no then you have more to add to your case.
Try to meet the neighbor on the other side of the angry guy and find out if they also have trouble with him. More proof that he’s the issue.
Gather all your data, and let the building manager know.
Next time you’re there and he does it, you immediately get up, ring his door and tell him clearly that you’re calling the police (regardless of whether he comes out to talk to you).
Need to nip this in the bud, he cannot be left to think this a reasonable thing to do.
Plus, I love how he’s probably making more noise than your girlfriend. Icing on the cake, delicious.
Since it is provided by JET get them on the case, and if they can’t resolve it ask them to find somewhere else for you.
JET usually uses public housing for government workers, so shit can quickly escalate for him if that’s the case. It might come down to your word against his, so collect evidence.
Based on your description, the person is clearly mentally sick, at least to a degree. There may be nothing you can do to appease this kind of person short of total capitulation, and even then, they may very well pick another fight on another front (e.g. smells coming from your apartment).
If you’re a normal decent human being, you’ll want to work things out and come to an agreement, but keep in mind that this may simply not be possible. If it turns out to be that way, just go ahead and do what’s easiest for you, since it’s a lose-lose situation their sickness has created.