A preface: if you have any negativity, judgements,or alarming comments please kindly take them elsewhere. I rarely post here, but in this instance I would be grateful for advice, and advice only.
I am a 29 year old alcoholic. I usually drink around 7 beers per evening. I have done so for the past 10 years. (Please, no alarming comments. I just want help, I don’t want to worry).
This might not be the best sub to ask this type of question, but does anyone have any advice on how to quit drinking in Japan. The main reason why I drink is because of boredom, being used to it, coming from a drinking obsessed country, being single, and since changing jobs having fairly low wages (this will change eventually however).
I live in Hokkaido and I’m not into winter sports, so it’s particularly bad during this season. When I get home, I’m just not interested in doing much at all. I also feel like the drinking culture is huge in Japan, plus almost everyone I know drinks to excess on the week ends. It is the go-to thing here. Simply put, it seems difficult to avoid.
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I have met many alcoholics since living here, and I a) don’t want to end up like that. and b) am deeply concerned about my health. If anyone can give me some adivce, or has become t-total I’d really like to hear your thoughts.
A few more things:
\-My japanese is poor but not abysmal.
\-I’m not the kind of alcoholic who wakes up and drinks a shot of tequila.
\-I dont drink before work.
\- I managed to stop drinking not too long ago for two weeks, despite the dreadful insomnia.
\-The thing I’m most worried about is what to do with my free time. (ie: time spent being sober in the evenings, and keeping myself occupied). ACtually, this really is the number one thing i’m concerned about.
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any advice is appreciated. Thanks so much for reading this.
27 comments
Been there done that! See a doctor, get some bloods done (they will do this when you tell them your problem) From this they can see your liver levels and whether you have alcoholic liver hepatitis (the first but still reversable stage towards cirrhosis).
You need to stop regardless but this will give you some insight to how bad it is and help your doctor advise you. Following this you need to cut down or have non drinking days. This is key. If you cannot do this or get shakes then you need to tell the doctor this. if you stop you could have seizures.
Bad news is, as someone who got to that point, I had to go back to my own country for help and rehab. It was an easy decision since Id lost everything at that point. got myself sorted and came back a better man. Hopefully it wont be at that point for you, but you need to start making moves now.
There are very few rehab clinics here, they are expensive and don’t offer English.
” I’m not the kind of alcoholic who wakes up and drinks a shot of tequila. ” – Thats what I told myself too, lol, until I was.
I’m at 5 years and let me tell you the worlds much more colorful without that shit.Its a tough road so get started on it it asap, its worth it! Good luck
Edit: To add there are many online AA meetings from around the world you can listen into completely anon to help.
See r/stopdrinking
My guess is everyone is a bit different and a bit the same when it comes to quitting. I don’t know if this helps at all bit FWIW.…
I decided to drastically cut this year due to digestive issues. I was more of a 3 a day guy during the week with more on the weekends. Basically my goal is no more daily drinking, i.e. no weekdays at all. I found my worst period was from 4 to 6 PM. Once I got past that, I was kind of fine craving wise. What I have been doing is reading Stephen King novels right after dinner. I get into that and I am good until bed and then fine. You might also try the gym. It’s a work in progress but so far I’ve done it. Tbh, I’ve kind of avoided social stuff during the week though.
In past breaks I also found I have to get momentum going, so I wouldn’t make a big change on the weekend. I started during the week where I have more structure in my day.
Good luck.
Reach out to [Joe in Sapporo](https://www.aatokyo.org/contacts-loners/) (scroll down to find his email.)
Free time: pick up a new hobby. Spend a month going down a youtube rabbit hole of people doing stuff, and maybe something will pique your interest. You can become an expert in most anything by the end of the decade, if you start soon. Wood carving, paper folding, 3D-printing, to name three random things of the 723,401 top hobbies you might pick from.
Insomnia: ask your doctor for something. マイスリー (Ambien) can be helpful occasionally. If you try to fight it, it won’t do a thing, so take it as you get into bed and just try to quiet your mind. Japan has much stronger stuff available (including stuff that’s completely illegal in The States), so talk to your doctor.
I drink a lot of [のんある気分](https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B01KLQBX1W) (Suntory’s calorie-free zero-alcohol “cocktail” drinks. The other brands’ versions are horrible).
Find something healthy to nibble on that you enjoy. Fresh fruits or raw veggies. The big nut tubs from Costco are great.
About booze, go cold turkey, or come up with some hard-and-fast rule that you can’t wiggle out of, e.g. “No drinking on weekdays” is good, “Don’t drink much on weekdays” is not.
Exercise has been the key for me. I’ve got kettlebells at home and do push ups and whatnot.
I (dry for going on 35 years, knock wood) found that changing my sleep habits helped a lot: I started waking up a few hours earlier than usual helped me get out of the habit of “entertaining” myself in the evening. I’d have a few hours before work to do housekeeping (both in the literal and the metaphoric senses) before work and for a good while was too exhausted from waking up so early that I just wanted to go to bed at night. Eventually, the early-to-bed thing became habitual.
I wish you the best of luck.
I used to be similar, then when I was 30, I woke up one morning feeling like I stubbed my toe. I didn’t think much of it and figured I must have kicked something in my sleep. The pain only got worse and finally I was limping barefoot in to the ER on a cold December day at 4am because I was in total agony. It felt like a huge rusty nail was being driven in to the joint of my toe and I couldn’t even tolerate taking a shower or even having my foot under a blanket because the pain was so severe. I had gout and that was my first experience with it. I’ve had meningitis before and that was probably the most pain I’ve ever been in, but gout is a close second. I was given some medicine to lower my uric acid level and was on crutches for about a week while I waited for the pain to get better.
I stopped drinking beer after that experience. On the very rare occasion that I do have one, I have to drink a ton of water or it will flare up again. If I have more than one, I’m basically guaranteed to be in pain a couple days later. Trust me, you don’t want to deal with this. It sucks.
I understand from friends that medication is actually quite effective in treating alcohol dependency. I don’t know what the treatment is like in Japan, but it is worth looking into.
https://www.healthline.com/health/medication-alcoholism
I think there are probably many ways to tackle this, and different techniques work for different people or not. Some possible ideas to try.
1. Seeing that you tend to drink in the evening, how about waking up much earlier to do activities like prepping for your daily meals, going out for walks, general exercise etc. This way you will go to bed earlier, eliminating that time that you’ve been usually drinking.
2. Another option is to focus on the money aspect of drinking. You mentioned that you have a low salary, so obviously drinking alcohol will reduce the amount of money you have even more. How about setting a target that requires some money, like buying something you wanted, saving for a nice trip or saving for your future? Open a separate bank account and deposit money into there regularly that you normally would have spent on alcohol. You will see this money grow, and see how wasteful it was to just throw it away on booze.
3. Having something else to drink instead of alcohol is also important. Find some non-alcoholic replacement that you like. Water is best, but obviously doesn’t have the same kind of taste/feeling. My partner always used to drink lemon sours, but now they have replaced that with Suntory sparkling lemon water.
4. Maybe the most difficult of all, but very important I think, is to have self-confidence to say no to alcohol. As you said, alcohol is a big part of friendly gatherings. I used to drink at all of these events, but now I just order something non-alcoholic. At first people were surprised, and I just told them that I stopped drinking alcohol. Now it’s no big deal, my friends know I don’t drink. If people make a big deal about it, then those people really aren’t worth having as friends to be honest.
So try out a bunch of different things, and see what works for you. The good thing is that you seem to have recognized that you are currently on the wrong path and need to change direction. Make sure you change direction before it gets too late and you really lack the control to be able to do that. Life is great without alcohol-healthier, happier, better sleep, better sex, save money, more in control of your life’s decisions etc
Good luck mate, it can be a long road. From what I’ve seen, the people that had the best outcomes were those that were able to shift into a healthier obsession (g) – running often the easiest.
Second – Japan doesn’t have any more or less of a drinking culture than any other culture, the key specifically is who you hang out with. If you’re only hanging out with people that drink beers all night…that’s what you’ll end up doing.
I’m sure you know this of course, but still bears repeating – changing your environment (where you go, what you do, and who you do it with) is the fastest way to change your life. The first step is hard, but you’ll be surprised how quickly you’re able to change once you remove yourself from the environment.
Another option – drink Beery (not quite non-alcoholic, I think it’s like 0.5%). You can enjoy the taste (for the most part) and *feel* like you’re having a beer. We don’t drink at home at all anymore, simply because we kinda like Beery. Haven’t felt any urge at all to have ‘real’ beer in at least six months.
See a doctor! From what I have heard you definitely need support, for the fysical part of the withdrawal symptoms. I have never been addicted to alcohol but I was a severe nicotine addict for years and I know how hard it is to quit with something that is really bad for you but you use to cope, I want to wish you every success with your recovery and hope you will be successful,
Sounds like you need a hobby dude. Hokkaido has some killer fishing. Maybe go catch some dinner?
Going on a strict diet instantly reduced my alcohol consumption by 90%, for what it’s worth. I was basically drinking a bottle of wine a night.
When you decide you’re going to have a big calorie deficit, you just can’t afford the calories. I basically stopped giving myself permission to drink. I can’t believe how well it worked.
I won’t give you any alarming comments as you specifically said not to but I would definitely seek help at putting the bottle down. The amount you drink can easily give you serious health problems. I would start with getting a thorough blood check. If your blood looks fine great, but that does not mean you you’re safe to continue drinking like that. If moving back to your home country is the only way to rid alcohol from your life I’d heavily recommend it. You are young and definitely don’t want to suffer the consequences many alcoholics have to live and suffer with.
7 beers per day is alcoholism but self manageable level. I don’t think you need to consult a doctor at this stage, but there’s nothing wrong with consulting one if it can help you.
There’s no alternative to go cold turkey. The insomnia you have experienced is normal, and should last 2-3 weeks. After a month, you should be done with it.
I would not recommend you to use sleeping pills as those can generate much more difficult addictions very quickly. If you insomnia is stress related, you may want to try Depas during a few days, which is a prescription drug you can get from any physician, just before going to bed.
After going cold Turkey you will realize that you will start craving for sugary stuff. You can easily gain a lot of weight, so be careful.
You can drink diet cola or other zero calorie stuff during a few weeks but at one point in time you will need to be careful about your carbohydrates intake. But that’s the second stage of the process.
I strongly advise you not to drink no alcoholic beer or similar drinks. They will fuel your frustration for the real stuff. Don’t buy them.
Also, last but not least, if you have stocks of booze, sell them on Mercari or Jimothy; or pour them in the sink. Don’t keep them on hand. And don’t refill your stocks of course.
As for your free time; try to remember things you liked to do before your drinking habit started and re-explore them. Having no interests in anything is one of the effects of alcohol and drug addiction; but things will get back to normal after a few weeks. Remember, addiction is basically being enslaved to intense dopamine shots. Alcohol, sugar, gambling, sex, drugs, nicotine (some say also gaming and social networks also) generate intense and immediate dopamine releases in your brain, so you basically become dull to less stimulating activities which generate less dopamine.
Also, needless to say that you should not hang out anymore with heavy drinkers until you can control yourself enough to not drink even a single drop and refuse any glass of booze.
Last but not least, becoming sober is lifelong choice. There is no alternative; No manageable consumption once you’ve crossed the border. Do not listen to people saying that you can enjoy a glass or two per week; this is not possible for alcoholics.
Good luck, and feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Best thing to do is to workout or exercise (even a hobby) and make that a habit when you have urges to drink, also stay away from toxic friends that push you into drinking.
Those are 2 things really helped a lot through my alcoholic addiction. Also i have a very supportive wife and I couldn’t of done it without her.
Best to quit now
Better late then never, good luck to you! 🙏
I’ve struggled a lot with alcohol in the past.
The first thing I’ll say is that quitting alcohol is hard – honestly the hardest thing I’ve done. There’s so much of the social aspect to it, especially when socializing revolves around drinking.
I’m not sure if this is true, but I was once told that alcohol changes your brain. Even if you have one drink, your mind will want to go back and drink the extra 6 or so – for me personally I could go out, buy a 6-pack and drink it without a second thought (hence the need to be strong and aware of limits).
In terms of time – reading books, exercise, movies, etc. work well. One of the reasons why people work a ton of overtime is because there is nothing to do at home…
R/stopdrinking is a gem of a subreddit no matter where you are.
You missed out on dry January, maybe try the challenge for this month instead? Seems you ha e more a habit than an addiction. Some non alcohol beers are quite close to real beers so if somehow you switched the habit towards those that could be great (and that is much better nutrition wise).
get a full body health check, get all your numbers checked out
nothing like a health scare to motivate you into improving your lifestyle
I wasn’t a drink every day kind of guy but I went crazy with the brewskis every Saturday and Sunday.
After the last straw, I bought a bunch of non alcoholic beer and started pounding down those instead of beer. It obviously wasn’t the same but the placebo and routine was enough for me. After like 3-4 weekends of that I no longer even bought non alcoholic beer. Now I just pound strong lemon sparkling water all the time every time.
For a good non alcoholic beer, I recommend the German import Veritasbrau. It’s the one that tastes like beer the most.
Make a limit of 3 beersa day during a month. After will be a bit easier to quit
I recommend video games to soak up the free time
Just some advice on a hobby… do you play any instruments? Renting time in a studio is cheap (the one I go to is ¥360 for an hour.) I often stop by after work and either play by myself or with a friend. Evenings in Sapporo in winter can be boring, I know. So as other posters said, get help medically and try lots of hobbies until you find something you enjoy! Good luck!
I’ve seen an English teacher in Japan die from this. Honest advice: if you’re a teacher go to Saudi Arabia. Stay there for a while, make some money and save up and then come back to Japan later.
My history sounds very similar to your story. When I was really ready to give up drinking I got myself into AA. With the help of a sponsor, and a real desire to quit, I was able to give it up. I’m now 6.5 years sober and alcohol isn’t even close to part of my daily thoughts anymore.
I’d recommend contacting Joe B in Sapporo (or anyone on the list) and have a chat. You don’t have to quit anything immediately, but start listening and sharing your story with someone else. Eventually, you’ll make the right decision for yourself.
https://www.aatokyo.org/contacts-loners/
It will be difficult to abstain during periods of free time at first. Try to do something constructive, like a new hobby or working out. Eventually, you’ll love your new abundance of free time and feel better than you ever have in your life. Step zero of the twelve is to reach out to someone who has gone before you.
Good luck! It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
I would suggest getting a night time hobby that is incompatible with alcohol. Like bouldering, weight lifting, or Brazilian jiu jitsu. They will also make you feel great.
This advice doesn’t work for everyone, but I tell myself it’s fine to have a beer after work and two or so on the weekend. I tell myself all things in moderation, and try to workout a bunch. Probably only had 4-5 drinks a day at my worst though.