My friend group is mostly 20s Japanese guys. I was talking to them about relationships. They seem to all accept marriage equals immediate stop in sex life. Even they haven’t dated much yet but they all have this idea that becoming sexless is a matter of time.
It’s kind of sad. I think it’s a very Nihilist view on what’s supposed to be your most fulfilling relationship in your life lol.
Compared to my American friends they just see it as a rollercoaster, sometimes there’s a ton of sex and sometimes it’s less, just because life happens. There is still understanding and romance. they always know it will come back. Whereas the Japanese I know just leave the relationship out on the concrete to bleed..
Thoughts? Experiences? Thanks
https://www.reddit.com/r/japan/comments/1131eek/why_do_you_think_being_sexless_is_the_norm_in/
9 comments
63% of American men age 18-29 are single, it don’t think its a issue unique to Japan.
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/ft_2023-02-08_facts-single-americans_01/
Curious how much sex those guys are getting now
Isn’t it the same everywhere? Marriage leads to sexlessness. That’s why the U.S., like Japan, has a declining birthrate.
I feel this, unfortunately from my wife who is Japanese. She’s given me a pass to be with other women, which supposedly is also more common in Japan than in the US. So it’s not all bad, but it’s still bad…
One mundane reason that I think isn’t pointed out enough is the compact size of Japanese housing and the prevalence of multigenerational living arrangements. Hard for many couples to be intimate outside the earshot of kids and/or parents.
im surprised no body mentioned porn.
People of both genders are bombarded by idols and other super beautiful people on TV and then the shock when they see normal potential relationship candidates in real life.
As a westerner from hearing from travellers the nightlife is good in Japan so not sure why your friends aren’t going around and having more sex? Or is this simple misinformation?
So, from what my Japanese friends (23-33yrs old range) have expressed… the men feel that the women they end up with are more into their money than them as people – not exactly a sexy start to a relationship. The women say they are more interested in being treated romantically than sexually, and that they think sex is aggressive.
I also found that they feel sex is almost too taboo to conversationally engage or openly discuss with their partner. I guess that makes some sense when something as simple as holding hands in public is considered overtly romantic.
Tough situation all around