Intentionally incorrect use of “Sama”

I think it would be cute to call my host family’s youngest daughters with “Sama” as an attempt to bridge the gap with humor as I would joke about treating them as royalty. However, I don’t know if this is culturally insensitive and if honorifics are a no-go when it comes to humor. I feel like since I’m not underplaying the age difference, but overplaying it, it would come off as not disrespectful, but I’m not accustomed to Japanese culture. For more clarity they’re about 7-12 and I’m 19.

Thanks everyone for the advice! I ended up asking the mom if it would be okay and she gave the green light, saying she thinks they’d love it.

10 comments
  1. That would be fine. People call other people “sama” jokingly all the time. The children may think it’s a bit condescending, but that depends on their own personality.

  2. An interesting explanation I heard from an expat is that personal pronouns and honorifics are both somewhat personal and expressive in non-formal settings. And people using non-standard honorifics is something that can happen between friends.

  3. It’s sometimes used that way as sarcasm so could be taken wrongly?

    Honorifics are definitely a source of humour, but often negative humour, so maybe a standard -chan would be best here.

  4. Not sure about that context, but when we addressed the envelope of a letter to our granddaughter as -chan, our son said no, all correspondence should be -sama. The letter or card inside, we use -chan.

    I guess it all depends on facial expression, particular situation etc.

  5. I would… be quite cautious about this. It could be appropriate in very specific circumstances (e.g., they just helped you with something, particularly about the language or culture, and you want to thank them/show that you recognize that), but otherwise… I dunno.

    Why not ask the parents what they think? At the ages of the children involved, any negative longterm fallout would probably come from the parents, so it would make sense.

  6. Nah, you’ll be fine. From my experience most of the people I’ve met are inherently hilarious. A lot of Japanese language learning focuses on finding work, studying and settling into society, in which case the rules are different. Have fun and make people laugh. It’s a joy. I love it.

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