Is this common or do my Japanese friends & coworkers just suck

Emergency Contacts.

Of all the paperwork and documentation required to get a new apartment, why is this the most difficult thing to get?

I make it very clear to those I ask: this is a 緊急連絡先 and is absolutely not a 連帯保証人.

But even with that, I can’t even manage to get a *phone number* from them, let alone the birth date, mailing address, blood from their virgin daughter, etc that’s required. No work or school contacts either—it’s gotta be personal.

I have enough money that I can flash at apartment suitors but without this emergency contact info (that they confirm the validity of, so I can’t fake it) it’s still a hard no.

Is this common? What can I do? Advice? Help?

30 comments
  1. It’s not common. Did you just move here? If so, explain the situation and ask them to accept someone from your work. If you are not new here. Make some friends.

  2. There are emergency contact services, just look for 緊急連絡先 代行. I was on the verge of using it, but tried asking in my company’s random questions email and they got someone I don’t even know to give me the information.

  3. They don’t feel comfortable doing it because they don’t feel close enough to you to want to put their personal information on your application, I’m guessing.

  4. The struggle is real when you don’t have any close aquaintences to turn to for the matter. Was stuck in the same situation twice and both times they accepted the number of a HR guy at work.

    Might want to reconsider your relationships if it is something you would do for them in a heartbeat but they wouldn’t do the same for you.

  5. Could you not try asking your company if someone can be your emergency contact? Like your manager or someone in HR? That’s what I had for my last apartment

  6. I doubt they are close friends. People are very wary of being a contact as it sounds very similar to being a guarantor, meaning they would be on the hook if you bailed on the contract (something that happens quite often). It’s probably a misconception and in reality just used as an emergency contact but who wants to take that chance for an acquaintance?

  7. When I was applying for an apartment, the realtor had me write down his drinking buddy’s contact info

  8. Favors aren’t really a thing here.

    And if you have enough money as you say, just use one of those emergency contact services.

  9. You can probably register a JP phone number with a service like Google voice and use that. If you can’t find an emergency contact make one up 🙂

  10. I find it disappointing because Japanese people have almost assuredly done this exact thing without even thinking about it, but just use their parents most of the time. Because most immigrants to Japan don’t have Japanese parents in the country, it becomes an invisible burden here that while small, stacks up with all the other small burdens.

    Tell your workplace you need this, and that it is normal for employers to provide it to immigrant staff.

  11. If there’s an earthquake and you are unavailable, the emergency contact is going to be asked to come and get your kids (if you have them), for example. Or if a typhoon comes through and even without a present danger the school gets closed as a precaution half way through the day. It’s not a simple form filling exercise, but comes with potentially real consequences in Japan due to the real possibility of natural disaster. Even if you don’t have kids, that overall sense of responsibility is high. Most people are going to want to be dealing with their own family in an emergency situation, not the guy at work.

  12. I ‘ve been there too.

    That small thing made me re-evaluate the nature of Japanese “friends” I thought that I had.

    During my apartment hunting last year, I was very close to choose this nice place in Kanagawa area (which I didn’t because initial cost was ridiculously expensive but that’s another story). Of course, if I had gone through the contract, the realtor wanted some emergency contact number.

    Even though I didn’t ask directly my close Japanese coworkers and friends, I hinted to both of them separately as: “Ah, the apartment looks great, and I will just need an emergency contact number from a Japanese person…”

    Well, dead silence after that. Neither of them offered to give their number as contact. I am talking about guys that I have been very close, both of them speaking English and eating lunch together on a daily basis for two years.

    It really made me question the nature of “friendship” in Japan. Heck, I am pretty sure that if it were me back in my home country, and someone asked my help for that, I would be more than willing to help.

  13. It’s not a Japan problem. It’s just about the people you are with and what kind of relationships you have with them.

    I myself never had a Japanese friend or co-worker turn down either a 緊急連絡先 or 連帯保証人 request, even when they become legally liable or have to submit sensitive documents like income statements, etc.

  14. I don’t remember ever having to do this, and I don’t blame your friends/coworkers not wanting to give up their info.

    Is the eikaiwa sponsoring your visa? Demand that they cough up the info and be your contact.

  15. I’ve had multiple friends who complained about the same thing. I am guessing it’s that cultural thing where they mitigate any opportunity to get in trouble (even if there is none). I’d just ask any of your foreign friends.

  16. Can’t you just write down the info for a family member? I have never had any issues using info from my over seas family as an emergency contact(two apartments so far). Not sure if they ever verify anything or not, but my family has never mentioned being contacted.

  17. I asked someone at my first job and they said no too because “they don’t want the responsibility” lmao ended up putting my Japanese ex bf’s info because my kanri gaisha needed a JAPANESE CITIZEN lol thankfully we are on good terms because every time I renew they call him up again

  18. You can write telephone number of your family in your country. I did in my first apartment.
    I write my mother phone number.

  19. I don’t think it’s ever been a requirement for my apartments for my emergency contact to be Japanese, but then again my friends finding out I need an emergency contact always offered to be one for me (without me asking), so yeah maybe your friends and coworkers suck lol.

  20. I use NJ friends as emergency contacts all the time. Never had an issue, though I suppose your mileage could vary.

    If your boss won’t be the emergency contract, I recommend you keep updating your resume. And try to make many friends.

  21. I’ll give you my phone number, but I don’t promise to answer if someone calls

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