Ok this is a mainstream question, after month of reserch, earing songs ecc i still have difficulty to understand this concept.
Is using 君 Kimi, as rude as あなた?
How can I say ‘your book’?
Can I say 君の本だ? ‘is this your book’
Or: 僕は君におごる ‘i Will treat you’
Using Kimi just because i have been stressed enough not to use anata, by the way I hear Kimi so much time in songs.
I still struggle to address to someone without using you, isnt strange to address to someone using directly theyr name?
I’m looking into Nico and saying: ニコの本だ?
Another thing, if someone says something and i agree with it and I’m in the same state, like me too, can I say 私も?
If someone say something good at me and i want to say the same to that person can I say あなたも?
My teacher said not to say anata mo but repeat the whole sentence, but a Japanese friend said i can say anata mo…
I’m struggling with this you so much, can you help?
4 comments
First off, in all languages I have come across, songs are a poor reflection of actual language.
The ‘you’ problem stems from the fact that referring to someone by a pronoun is at simultaneously informal, a little bit intimate and a little bit rude. A lot of the time, it is absolutely okay to be these things with friends but the safest way through is to not use pronouns like anata and kimi.
Secondly, no it is absolutely not strange to use someone’s name in front of them. In fact, it is the opposite. It shows a level of respect at having remembered the other person’s name (listening to other people and remembering what they say is really really important in my experiences with Japanese friends). It is also customisable but being formal by adding -san, cute by adding -kun or -chan or informal and cordial by using it unadulterated.
A side note: I have been talking above about conversational Japanese. There are absolutely cases in formal/semi-formal Japanese where you will hear anata. Notably, as a learner, you will see this on signs quite a lot. In these cases, it is a formal way of referring to someone who you don’t expect/need to know the name of.
For your own personal use, get used to remembering and using names of your conversation partners.
Sounds like you’re using some English conventions to understand a different language. Which is fine for somethings. But I think it’s best to take a step back. Stop trying to think of how you would say an English phrase in Japanese and start thinking about how you would speak the idea in Japanese. English desperately wants to use you so it feels odd to not use it in Japanese. But it’s completely normal to not use it.
When you say ‘I want to treat you’ who are you saying it to? The person? So why do you even need to say you or their name. In English we even say ‘it’s my treat’ as in I’m paying for you. Even in that English example, you’ve used the context of the situation who you’re talking to, to imply that I’m treating you without saying ‘you’.
Context or name is normal.
It’s not at all strange to address someone using their name; it’s very much the norm in daily conversations. If I wanted to ask someone at work if the book sitting on the table were theirs, I’d just say “これは田中さんの本ですか？“ I actually can’t think of a time I’ve addressed an adult in the second person.
I’ve met some Japanese people and I tend to use their surname+殿／樣／貴殿 until I settle in the conversation and slowly switch to さん .