Hello! I’m sorry if I shouldnt post this here, let me know and I can delete it!
My fiance and I have ben talking about moving to Japan for years, and we’re starting to look into it more seriously. I just have a few concerns, and I’d like to hear people’s overall experience!
First, obviously we are both foreigners. How much of a problem is it really? will we struggle to make friends, find a house, etc? are there cities that are more accepting than others?
we are 2 men in a relationship. how is that taken there? should we avoid being obviously a couple? (like not holding hands or walking too close together)
he is trans (FTM), are there decent resources for hormone therapy?
How serious is the tattoo stigma? I have a few (a pink flower, a sakura tree, a cat, and 2 angel wings that go up my forearms)
Basically, do we have too much working against us to live a good life? We love the architecture and culture there and it seems like a great place, we have a close friend who lived there on a work visa for about 6 months and he absolutely loves it there. But I’m a worrier and I’m concerned that we have too many “undesirable” traits.
any insight to life in Japan as a foreigner would be great! Thank you in advance for any info
3 comments
HRT has been discussed both on this subreddit, and on a few of the other Japan subreddits (r/japanlife, r/japanresidents, and I imagine r/JETProgramme ) – worth having a search through and seeing what people have said before.
It would help a lot if you could mention what visa you’re hoping to move to Japan with. As a same sex couple, unfortunately you would not (as far as I’m aware) be able to both come with one as a dependent of the other, so you would each independently need a visa (most likely a work visa).
I don’t have firsthand experience (EDIT: specifically, I don’t have firsthand experience as an LGBT person, my experience is as a (non-white) foreigner in Japan), but my sense is that – at least in Tokyo – you wouldn’t really face that much hostile stigma. You’ll get some stares, you’ll get some awkward question from time to time, but largely you’ll be left to it and treated with civility and politeness by others in your day to day life. Learn Japanese – as a minority, literacy and fluency will be invaluable, potentially life-saving.
The areas I’d be most concerned are apartment-hunting and work. I don’t know how your specific situation might be seen, but Japanese landlords can be pretty picky about tenants at the best of time (with foreigners being considered somewhat undesirable). As a same-sex couple you might find it harder than others to find a place – talk to a foreigner-friendly realtor who can help with your search.
The biggest thing you should do is try and not make yourself beholden to stigma or bigotry in the workplace. Due to your identities as foreigners, and as LGBT – not to mention your tattoos – you will almost certainly face some amount of stigma at many traditional Japanese companies. Whilst job hunting, make sure you do as decent a vibe-check as you can with your interviewers. Consider targeting smaller companies, or foreign-owned/run companies, etc. This is much much easier if you’re hoping to go into tech, which has a big startup scene, rather than more traditional/hierarchical industries.
The first thing you should address is how you and your partner would obtain a visa.
>he is trans (FTM), are there decent resources for hormone therapy?
GOOD NEWS:
Tokyo and other big cities have plenty of “hormone therapy” places especially in large university hospitals (Endocrinology depts.).
Maybe BAD NEWS:
What is the gender listed on your fiance’s passport, is the gender he will have in Japan for his visa, health insurance, work, banking, etc. It’s not really worth moving to Japan if his official passport gender does not match the gender he identifies with.