I met a Japanese girl around my age online a couple weeks ago and we just went out on a lunch date the other day (her invitation, not mine). Exchanged phone numbers and talked a lot and had a good time, and when we messaged each other thanks she was basically like 「〇〇さんでも、〇〇ちゃんでもいい〜」
Well it felt pretty nice that she seemed so willing to get closer to me — enough to say it’s ok if you call me -chan — but having called all my Japanese friends using -san thus far, I just have a feeling -chan might come off super casual or immature so I’m here worrying if she was just being polite to save face or is genuinely OK with the honorific? As much as I reciprocate the sentiment.
For the record, she’s a year older than me and I’m a guy which is why I’m especially unsure.
6 comments
> someone told me to do something
> is it okay?
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
It’s fine, and she initiated it. Even if she’s older I think most girls just think it’s cute to be called that.
ちゃん really isn’t that intimate or immature, so no worries.
She has told you it’s okay, so what’s the problem? I wouldn’t say -chan is that intimate, it just means she sees you as a friend.
If anything, she prob. feels that being called san is too “much” and lumps you into that group of people who uses san to her, colleagues, strangers etc.
By having a chan group it makes it easier to have that simple divide of people.
If she told you it’s okay, it’s fine. I can appreciate your concern and desire to “read between the lines”, but there’s no trick or deeper meaning here. She just would prefer the relationship be more casual, and dropping the -さん付け in favor of -ちゃん (or 呼び捨て, or a nickname, etc.) can be one way of doing this.
>super casual or immature
For one thing, it’s not “super” casual. Nor does it make you (or her? not sure which you’re concerned about) seem “immature”, any more than it would if someone named Daniel or Jennifer told you to call them “Danny” or “Jenny” and you did so.