Hello,
I know everyone expresses rage in every country around the world, men and women. So although I’m pinpointing Japanese women, I understand the bigger perspective.
I am an American with a Japanese wife of 20 years. She has always been poor at expressing her feelings calmly or early, so she has outbursts of rage, with a lot of focus on guilt and shame. Suffice to say it is not healthy.
While everyone will have an opinion on this, I’m really interested culturally in how Japanese women typically express their anger, and how they manage their feelings?
Edit: There seem to be some here who are easily outraged, but they are missing the point. Each culture expresses themselves differently, just like each individual. Everyone knows Japan is an emotionally repressed culture. A person cannot grow up in one country, move to another and quickly become compatible. If you can intimately relate to this point I am making I am interested in hearing your perspectives.
7 comments
This isn’t an “all Japanese women” thing.
You’re American. Where are you from?
Imagine, for a moment, you are from Minnesota. Midwest nice. Passive aggressive central. Uber Catholic.
How are you expressing yourself?
Your partner has again sharted all over the bathroom.
Do you say, “Oh, you shat on the toilet rim and floor again, and that isn’t cool.”
Or do you say, “Smooth move, ExLax. Why even bother with a toilet, when the floor is right there?”
Now after expressing your anger, you feel guilt because it’s probably a sin and you should be more forgiving of your partner who was raised by literal baboons. So now you feel bad that you scolded your partner. But still, they shit all over the bathroom. And thus the cycle repeats and you stay with them because you made a promise and signed a paper and are now legally bound to the not-so-phantom pooper.
But, you want to change. You want to express yourself more clearly. Well, one big help would be for the partner to be more observant and realize that the many dozens of books and YouTube videos you have passed their way on proper pooping technique were not merely suggestions.
Another way would be for you to recognize that your approach isn’t doing much to change your poppy partner and change approaches.
Most of us fall back on what we were taught by our families and unless a person is highly observant and open to changing how they approach different situations, they can go decades without changing.
Now, does the pooper get angry and yell that they can’t help themselves and they were raised by baboons and the other person needs to get over themselves? I can’t say. At the end of the day, both parties need to be open to new approaches and that has less to do with Japan and more to do with the person in question.
You’ve been together for 20 years and you still haven’t figured her out. No wonder she gets angry.
仕返し弁当
*sigh*
Japanese 👏 women 👏 are 👏 all 👏 separate 👏 individuals. It 👏 varies 👏 by 👏 individual.
Get it through your heads people.
Are you asking so that you can tell her how to behave next time?
They get stabby stabby reaaaaaal fast
Your general notion of ascribing individual human behavior by nationality and gender is a far larger issue.
Specifically, the way you conceptualize your wife is downright appalling.