My Japanese godfather has practically raised me as a third parent, and I am so thankful for him and his involvement in my life- but almost every time I see him now he asks if I have a flat stomach and that it’s my prettiest jewel. For context I grew up in the US, and I’m aware Japan has a huge anti-fat culture.. but I still feel uncomfortable when I’m asked this question. Is this common for Japanese family members to ask/talk about? I’m sure he doesn’t mean any harm but I’m just wondering if this is common.
https://www.reddit.com/r/japan/comments/12335k7/japanese_godfather_always_asks_me_if_i_have_a/
9 comments
Not specifically about flat stomach but yes looks and weight aren’t taboo topics. It’s right there in front of you for everyone to see after all.
That said I wouldn’t be very happy if my uncle praised me just for my looks either…
“If the girl was brave, her belly stays concave. Yet if the girl had sex, her belly gets convex”. Is he trying to ask you if you’re pregnant?
I think maybe he means if you are pregnant/trying for a baby? I have heard about the stomach(womb) being called the “most special organ” as that is where the baby grows. (Not sure though! The word “flat stomach” is weird for me too!)
12 years in Japan, I have never heard “flat stomach”, but waist size is something that really matters. The equivalent for obesity is “metabolism syndrome” and it is determined by waist size. At my yearly medical examination I will be told my belly and organs around here are too fat.
How old is he? I find that anyone 55 and below have learned how rude to is to comment on people’s weight. I’ve also never hear particularly a flat stomach. I’ve hear about being thin, having a small waist, thin legs, etc but not really if your stomach is flat? But surely he needs to catch up with the times and learn that comments about weight are uncalled for.
Japanese godfather – did he make you an offer you couldn’t refuse?
If he cares about you, I think this is simply a concern for your well being. If he is referring to your outward beauty, I think he would word it differently.
It is, unfortunately. I’m Japanese too. I was criticized by two guy friends when they saw I had a tiny bump SMH… Like what right do they have to have any opinion of my body? This happened a loooong time ago but it makes sense your godfather is a boomer and from an older generation. It boils down to misogyny in society and how J men think they are, consciously or unconsciously, superior to women, especially the younger they are. The average J man also has pretty unrealistic expectations of women’s body. Majority of them are only attracted to slim women and size 8 is chubby by their standards… So just look really unpleasant, tell him lightheartedly that you don’t appreciate him asking you about your stomach or anything pertaining to physical appearance. Be cutesy as much as you can (ぶりっ子) when you confront him. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that idiocracy but best to counter it with the same level of idiocracy. Good luck!
Fat shaming is an important part of Asian culture… because being only slightly fat is a huge diabetes and health risk there.