SSushi

I love artificial Crab. Sue me.


I love artificial Crab. Sue me.

38 comments

  3. Me too ! But this might be too much cream cheese for me, i dont like the mouthfeel when there’s too much

  5. I do too! For tempura, for sushi, for rice bowls and sometimes I just heat it up with some lemon, salt and butter and eat a plate of it.

  6. I love it too specifically Louis Kemp, but not the kind they sell at walmart. I think they make a cheaper version for the walmart. Other brands always seem a little off too.

  10. We at the law firm of Shellfish, Mollusk, and Crustacean take this VERY seriously.

    You asked for a lawsuit, you got one!

  12. “Excuse me, my good sir, would you like any crab and rice to go with your block of cream cheese?”

    I love me some cream cheese in rolls, but lord, it should never be an equal amount to the main ingredient. For someone who professes to love imitation crab, you sure aren’t tasting it with that much cream cheese in your roll, lol.

  16. Oh god, it’s not the fake crab. It’s the fake crab *with* creamed cheese. Blech.

  17. I love artificial crab too – but I don’t like cream cheese in my sushi. you do you, OP! 🙂

  19. Can’t stand cream cheese in sushi. Saw this pic and almost gagged. Fake Krab is tits tho.

  20. Imitation Crab is just Pollock. Same stuff at Long John Silvers.

    I agree though, the imitation stuff is pretty good; less chance of the roll getting soggy or falling apart.

  31. Is it even real pollack now? I have a feeling like there is way more filler now. I like fake Krab too. I especially like the ones that taste absolutely nothing like actual crab. Now that I see all the posts about cream cheese, I want to make sushi with slices of cheese aburi so it’s super weird. Pepper jack yellowtail aburi. Hmmmmmmm.

  32. LETTER OF INTENT TO SUE

    Effective Date: March 30, 2023

    RE: Notice of Intent to File Lawsuit

    Dear Mr./Ms. /u/OhJesusGross_,

    This letter of intent to sue shall serve as a formal notice that I intend to commence a lawsuit against you due to the following: breach of contract, fraud, and emotional distress caused by your false representation of artificial crab as real crab.

    I. The Plaintiff. /u/he_who_floats_amogus (the “Plaintiff”).

    II. The Defendant. Mr./Ms. /u/OhJesusGross_ (the “Defendant”).

    III. Settlement Demand. As a result of your actions, I seek relief in the form of:

    – Payment in the amount of $10,000 for the cost of therapy, medical expenses, and lost wages due to your deception and betrayal;
    – A public apology for lying to me about your love of artificial crab and misleading me into thinking you shared my passion for real crab;
    – A promise to never eat artificial crab again or contact me in any way.

    This offer to cure and/or settle this matter outside of court and avoid a lawsuit is valid for 30 days from the Effective Date.

    IV. Governing Law. This Letter of Intent shall be governed under the laws of the State of Your State.

    Sincerely,

    /u/he_who_floats_amogus

  33. My friend was a vegetarian and made a lot of vegetarian sushi, and a lot of it was spectacular, despite what it sounds like (she did eat eggs, so she used mayo in some of it). So, just because it’s not the typical stuff, it can still be good.

    I love artificial crab, myself. And I’m not afraid of a grocery store California roll that uses it, either.

    Actually, I live in TX, so we have HEB which has awesome sushi. Not a huge variety, but there’s some good stuff.

  34. There really should be a consumer class action against the entire sushi industry (this is not intended to be serious) for refusing to agree to use krab or surimi or any other super obvious designation for this product.

    I like it too. I don’t like ordering crab and getting it, however, especially at inflated prices.

  38. I love it too…My wife calls it “K” krab, like it’s some kind of smack in the face. I lol, and stuff it in my face.

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