3 year old daughter ran away from nursery on her own (Tokyo – Shinjuku)

I walked to pick up my daughter (who turned 3ys old 10 days ago) today from her new nursery (Japanese public nursery 0-6) but came across her walking – alone – in the middle of the road a few streets away from the nursery (about 300 meters from the building), she had turned a corner so wasn’t on the same street even as the building.

If I had walked my usual route to the school I would have missed her, or she could have chosen to go another way – or to the 3 lane fast road near the school. Thank god she is ok, I mean we live in a very central area and anything could have happened.

The school has 165 students and leaves the gates open at home time more like a high school.

Now I need to find a new school as I’m not letting her go back there – which will of course disrupt my work while she is at home.

I’m furious, I consider this gross negligence on their part and I want heads to roll…..any advice what I can do (up to and including lawyering up)?

Thanks.

30 comments
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  2. Something similar happened to a friend of mine, they threatened to sue and the school quickly gave them a cash settlement and fired all of the teachers responsible for the situation.

  3. Jebus. The daycares here have “security guards” that watch the doors specifically to prevent stuff like this.

    Report it to the BOE of the ward you live in.

  4. Based on info from someone I know, this happens in other counties too. Children are very smart, they find ways. They are almost always OK.

    Ofc., the kindergarten should take this seriously. I would imagine that they do…

    P.S. there’s rarely just one factor, think of Swiss cheese model of safety, many imperfect layers, a teacher got distracted, a door was unlocked, etc…

  5. That is insane, I can appreciate how worried and shocked that must have made you.

    Our kids’ kindergarten has entrances which only adults can open, and keeps teachers at the doors to watch as an extra layer to prevent that sort ofthing.

  6. Dude, at the yochien here the headmarer dude sits at the only exit for like an hour on either end of the end time and basically checks the kids out one by one.

  7. I’d be furious too. You got lucky but that’s all it was, luck. Anything could have happened and both parties should be taking it as seriously as if something did happen.

  8. Most nurseries will have at least a locked door or gate that requires a code to open so that only authorized people can enter, and most will also have a gate or some other kind of child-proofing to keep the kids in.

    Only way kids are getting out of the childcares and nurseries I’ve been to is if an adult lets them out. Hell, the door of one place we went to was so hard to open even the adults struggled – no way a kid was getting out of that.

  9. Report it to the board of education and I’d also try and get the word out amongst parents.

  10. As a former teacher of an international school…where a similar incident happened cause my coworker ignored said child that was a known runner….
    Go make heads roll.

    I can only imagine if it was mine…I’m so sorry

  11. Wtaf. This is gross negligence and their response is outrageous. This would have NEVER happened at my son’s kindergarten. They were super vigilant at pick and drop off (it was locked otherwise) as it was near a slightly busy road. I am so sorry this happened to you. I would be livid!!! Definitely threaten to sue. I always say nothing is done in this country about anything until someone dies, even kids. Make action before a different child’s life is potentially lost.

  12. rooting for you. that is fucking unforgivable. i’m furious just reading about it and i don’t even have kids myself.

  13. That’s absolutely insane. I would have called the police or something. Our nursery ALWAYS has the gate locked, plus there are like 3 locked doors (with locks too high up for them to reach) between the kid’s classes and the outdoors before they would even get to the gate. and you have to go up to their class and gather their stuff and talk to the sensei before they’re handed over to you. You also have to input in the app which registered guardian is coming to pick them up that day and at what time and they won’t even hand the kid over to for example the dad, if the mother was the registered pick up guardian that day, at least not without a phone call to check if it’s ok. If your plans change and another guardian will pick them up from what you registered that morning then you need to call and explain it is changing.

    Sounds like literally any random person off the street could go pick up any child they want at your nursery, or literal toddlers are free to wander off into the street. I would have been outraged if that happened to me holy shit

  14. Ask to speak with the headmaster and threaten to sue for negligence.

    The fact that nobody called and groveled at your feet the minute they realized your daughter was missing is a huge issue. Don’t let this go unpunished and threaten to tell city hall. Once you threaten to sue and tell city hall, they’ll immediately change their tune.

  15. I’m seriously considering printing out leaflets on this and giving them out at the school gate tomorrow outlining this story – not sure if I could get in trouble for that? I don’t want to get deported over this!

  16. i think you can do something like notify the city office and have them do a safety inspection

  17. I’m sorry but your child’s safety comes first. There’s no mr. Nice guy here. Report this wherever you can

  18. Reading this made me feel ill. Please go straight to city hall and report this. The teachers involved deserve to be fired at the extreme least.

  19. Please please report to nursery and may be some news too. This is really dangerous. Cant imagine going to pick my daughter and nowhere to be found at nursery.
    Thank God, you found her on the way, but situation would have been worst if you had gone to nursery bit late like you mentioned.
    This shouldnt be ignored, this incident must be known by other families whose children are there at that nursery.

  20. You should definitely make a public stir of this somehow, or else it’s going to happen to someone else’s kid who won’t be as fortunate.

  21. Holy shit I’m so sorry, that is horrific. Do these places get investigated? That is shocking negligence!

  22. God I’m so glad you found her safe. I have an almost 3 year old and my heart was racing reading through your post. I’m so sorry! I don’t know how to support you as you’ve already gotten great advice. But seriously do not let this one pass. Report and ask for whoever was responsible to be held accountable.

  23. As someone with a young child and is looking for daycare
    This scares the shit out of me

  24. This is absolutely unacceptable and your child could have easily have gotten hit by a car or worse. Kindergartens usually have their doors locked or closed so this wouldn’t happen. This is probably not the first time but it has to be the last !!!

  25. My god, this is terrifying. Definitely have a meeting with the head of the school and ask what policy changes they will be implementing to prevent a recurrence like this. Obviously you must be feeling very emotional but try and keep that under check and go at this as emotionless as possible to seek solutions. You could be saving another child’s life in the future. Make heads roll, mate.

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