hello hello. so I’ve been in Japan since January and can count the number of Japanese friends I made in those three months on one hand. Basically I only made one friend whom I’m not even super close with. I am here to study the language and after three months I guess I have a basic understanding. Now I just really don’t know how to make friends here. Japanese people are not really the most outgoing ones (except for dudes who just wanna have fun but I’m not looking for that). I just want to make friends. I did attend dance class and found that one friend there, but since the people change with every class it’s hard to actually connect with anyone over there. I also sometimes go out with my classmates but there you just meet people who wanna get with a foreigner. I don’t really trust any Apps to find friends either as I don’t have good experiences with those. Does anyone have any idea? I’m trying hard to put myself out there but nothing seems to work. I just want to make friends
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There have been two ways I’ve made great friends in Japan.
1. When I was actively learning Japanese as a student, I would go to small bars in Golden Gai and speak Japanese while getting hammered. Eventually found a favourite bar of mine and went weekly, meeting regulars and new people all the time. This really improved my confidence, and brought me out of feeling isolated. (You don’t have to be drunk to do this either, but it helped me)
2. I joined a CrossFit gym. You can choose any hobby, and before CrossFit, I was in like, fit exercise boxing group classes. Both activities I made really good friends, with English and Japanese people.
My advice is to do something new, and put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
21 days ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/japanlife/comments/11sf7fc/do_you_find_it_difficult_to_make_friends_in_japan/
1 month ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/japanlife/comments/10vv0ef/how_to_make_more_friends/
2 months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/japanlife/comments/10eetle/struggling_with_loneliness_how_do_i_make_friends/
3 months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/japanlife/comments/zktjym/do_you_have_japanese_friends/
3 months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/japanlife/comments/zx60vj/why_is_it_so_hard_to_make_male_friends_or/
Find a mime circle
Do u play any sport? Go to social badminton or tennis, or jiu jitsu or whatever and you’ll eventually mix with the regulars enough that u become friends. If you don’t like sport maybe try meetup.com? I used to know a girl from indonesia and she met most of her friends though events there. I went to one with her and tbh found it a bit overwhelming basically platonic speed dating 20 people but sometimes you gotta just put yourself out there.
I found it took a long time to make Japanese friends, even though I spoke good Japanese it still took a couple years to develop the close friendships I have now. If you can find a club or way to meet people who share the same hobbies as you, that’s a start
Language exchange groups.
Low Japanese ability will lower you friend group potential. But if someone wants to learn the languages you’re good at, they’ll be interested in making friends with you. Look into groups online with in-person meet ups, go to ‘international’ events, go to social groups and outings.
Just beware that… yeah, many folks use this shit for dating. Sucks.
It depends what you mean by friends, it seems that people have different definitions depending on where they are from and on their background. For instance, in my home town, I would consider as friends people who I could call in the middle of the night in case of emergency and they would do their best to help. In Japan, I would consider as friends people who simply don’t ghost me…
Friendship requires communication. The fastest way to make friends is to learn the language or find people who you can communicate with.