How do you make small talk with students?

11 comments

1. If the students don’t seem open to small talk, maybe don’t try and force them?

   a) They are going to a juku, so many of them are probably stressed about exams

   b) They probably have very little free time and are happy to use it doing something they want to do.

   c) They may be embarassed to share what they are reading.

   d) They may have no interest in speaking English. (i.e. they might not care about it and they may think that better spoken English will have no positive impact on their performance on tests.)

   Remember back to when you were a teen. Did you want to have random inane questions with a random adult?

2. Ask them who is most popular right now on social media or what kind of things are trending with people their age that someone your age doesn’t know about. They might be interested in keeping you hip. Ask broad questions about what are the top things, top movies, best restaurants, etc.

   If you already know something about them (gamer?) ask them who the most popular Minecraft or Roblox streamer is, that sort of thing

   *The nuance here is that you are not asking a direct question about them personally.*

   They don’t want to stick out or say something embarrassing because the walls have ears, that’s just the way society is here. Ask general questions about youth that indirectly relate to them

   I get answers varying from youtubers to the latest spinoff of kamen rider, or some horrible TikTokker that I regret asking about

   It’s then up to you to learn about those things so you can keep the small talk going. Takes some extra effort but it works and they seem to enjoy it

3. Ask them an “if” question. For example “If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life what would it be?”

   In addition watch Japanese tv and learn the names of the comedians. I like Itte Q. It’s on every Sunday at 8. It’s been on over 15 years and most of the talents on the show do many other shows.

4. Small talk begins with chat about topics the initiator *knows* the other person will be able to talk about, hence the popularity of weather. It also involves equal sharing of information. One person asking repeated questions of another is an interrogation, not small talk.

5. I try to use humor to bring them out the shell.

   Some really respond well to this approach, others simply don’t have an opinion so asking anything about their wants/needs/desires will not get an answer

6. It might be harsh… but, you are the teacher that their parents have hired, you are not their adult friend.

7. Don’t talk to them about themselves. Talk about something you can both see or hear…even if it’s a strange cloud in the sky. If that doesn’t work, show them something, like the book your holding for your next class and point out something stupid in the pictures. If all else fails, play jyanken.
   First you need the rapport, then they will start to tell you things.

8. I challenge you to consider that the *questions* may be bland and boring.

   ​

   >How are you?

   Basic, bland question that offers no interesting conversation for either party. This only reason people ever ask this, in my opinion, is to gauge the mood of the other person in a socially safe way in order to check if a conversation is feasible at that time.

   Your students respond with sleepy. That’s the truth. They just got done with 8 hours of school and club and they have homework after this juku. Leave them be.

   ​

   >What did you do on the weekend?

   If you ask this every time, can you really expect the students to be eager to answer? They probably do the same stuff *every* weekend. It’s a boring question unless you ask it after a holiday. Then it *might* be interesting.

   ​

   >What are you reading?

   Albeit this is an actual conversation starter, Japanese people have a culture of hiding their books behind “blank covers” because **they don’t want other people knowing what they’re reading.**

9. >between classes

   This is it right here. No small talk necessary.

   Time between classes is their time to relax *and yours*. Use it.

   Of course that doesn’t mean we need to shut ourselves off from the occasional friendly exchange. Be welcoming, be willing to answer questions or have a brief chat if they’re keen, but there’s no need to do more than that.

10. Japanese kids are boring , just leave them there in their own misery

11. I used to sing bits of Disney songs and let my students overhear. That provided a decent jumping off point to What movies do you like, some of your favorites (and why) what music do you like, can you sing, how often do you go to the movies, stuff like that.

    I cant tell you how many times a student stopped in their tracks and said “oh! ..アリエル？” because I was singing part of that world.

    Also s/o to the time I was in my JHS school singing the circle of life and a bunch of kids started singing the backup vocals in a bunch of random nonsense sounds lmaooo