My dad has muscular dystrophy (he looks fine from the outside but it’s just gotten worse and worse with the years and he really struggles with basic things, even just walking for example). He absolutely cannot use chopsticks (forks and spoons are hard enough). If we were to eat, would the chefs be offended if he were to use his own fork? I love Japan and their culture and coming off rude is the last thing I’d want…but there is just no way my dad can use chopsticks. Is there something we can say like he is disabled or he has muscular dystrophy, or I don’t even know what the best way to handle or explain the situation would be? Any advice would really help- thank you!!
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26 comments
No need to tell them. Similar to you trying to be respectful they will in turn not say anything and when they see him eat they will understand.
Quite a few restaurants understand that they will get tourists that may not use chopsticks so they may have cutlery if you ask. They won’t get offended by that.
It’ll be 100% fine. Customer service in Japan is great, I can’t imagine anyone questioning it or worrying. They’ll just assume he prefers a fork and think nothing more of it 🙂
Like the other commenter said, I think people will understand. If you are worried about it, have your dad learn some Japanese words or phrases he can use at restaurants. I think all foreigners should do this anyway. I saw more than one restaurant owner light up after I told them I liked their food in Japanese. Even though I probably butchered the pronunciation.
That’s very caring of you to look out for your dad and ask in advance 🙂 I’m pretty sure he won’t offend anyone by using a fork or spoon, and agree with the other comment saying that you don’t really need to mention it. Will most likely get quite a few stares, but probably in a curious way, not in an angry way!
There is people in Japan too that have similar conditions. There is nothing rude about using a fork.
You do not have to explain why he use a fork.
It is not a bad idea to bring your own, but even if you do not or forget it, most restaurant will be able to give you one. You do not have to tell why. They might just think it’s because it’s a foreigner and not all can use chopsticks (honestly, if you do use it, you can get the classic “oh, you are good with chopstick” comment too).
It might even happen that they bring you a fork even if you do not ask.
“I can’t use chopsticks” would probably cover it. Nobody is going to care. Hope y’all enjoy your trip.
Half the time they’ll give you a knife and fork anyway when they see you’re a foreigner.
There are also Japanese people with disabilities who use spoons, forks and knifes, so no need to worry about causing offence.
The only kind of restaurant that i can think of that is likely to not have forks available is noodle shops. Maybe he could carry a portable cutleryset with him just in case.
Sushi restaurants too probably won’t have cutlery. But it’s acceptable to eat sushi with your hands.
Japanese people in my opinion are beyond nice and respectful. I do not see them having an issue with that but I’m an American so what do I know?
I used to work with a lot of Japanese people is my only real basis for my opinion.
No one will care, there’ll be people in Japan with similar conditions too. Hope you guys have a nice trip!
Not a big deal, they will accommodate. Many places still think foreigners don’t even know how to use chopsticks (maybe this has changed, but it was true in some areas when I was there).
The only people who might be offended, or show offense, are snooty sushi chefs. But the solution is simple: eat it with your hands (as you’re supposed to).
Man fuck them chefs all you need to care about rn is yo dads health and wellbeing
I lived there for three years, I just moved back to the US this summer. Nobody will care in the slightest.
If your Japanese is lacking, survival Gaijin will get you through:
“Fōku, Onegaishimasu” (foe ku, own eh guy she mas), which means in really bad Japanese “fork please”.
When they bring it to you use the obvious “Arigatōgozaimas” (pronounce the “r” like an “r” and an “l” sound at the same time (I think, I might be wrong but you’ll get gaijin points for trying) ).
A waitress in Himeji saw me struggling with chopsticks and brought a fork over for me!!
No Your worries are melancholy.
If you think so, please consult the staff.
スプーンをおねがいします。or フォークをおねがいします。
> he really struggles with basic things, even just walking for example)
How bad does he struggle with waking? Honestly chopsticks are the least of your worries if you’re planning a trip with him.
Have you done your full research on mobile disabilities and Japan? You will find more hardships in this department.
If he needs a mobility device that will make trip planning more difficult as some places will not be accessible. Japan involves heavy walking and stairs.
If they felt disrespected they would think saying something more disrespectful to themselves and their customer. The Japanese are the most accommodating people I’ve ever visited.
Edit : Using your hand isn’t rude…. most Japanese shovel and slurp Ramen. Eating sushi rolls with your hand (two fingers) is acceptable if you’re not visiting Jiro.
Honestly, I’d say don’t worry about it. At the end of the day, you’ll never see those people again and your dads got muscular dystrophy, so does it really matter if someone gets offended by a misunderstanding?
My mom can’t use chopsticks either. Every times she visits and we eat out, I ask for cutlery for her and have never had a problem.
When I was there, I felt like everyone was overly helpful and accommodating. It was hard for me to deal with at first and I shameful admit that I became a little impatient. It was a total culture shock for me, but after my brain had time to adjust, I was amazed about the kind social interaction and effort to help tourists. If you do need help with mobility or anything else, they will try their best to figure something out.
Carry a small travel cutlery set with you, like something from a camping kit.
Most places that see a lot of tourists will have cutlery, but if you find someplace off the beaten path having a fork with you may be nice.
Considering eco-consciousness, it is not out of place to carry a travel set of reusable chopsticks with you either.
Also, like with allergies, it may be a good idea to make a card with English and Japanese explaining his condition and have it laminated. This way you can present the card if there is any problem, not with restaurants but in any aspect of your travels. Considering that he looks fine being able to clearly explain quickly what the problem is if something happens can make everything go much more smoothly.
you, and your dad, never owe anyone an explanation
If there’s anywhere in the world they value the elderly it’s Japan .. you wouldnt even need to explain a thing
So, I’ll second everybody else saying that no one will be offended and most restaurants will hve backup cutlery anyway but yeah , having your own with you is not a bad idea.
On a different note, make sure to get one of these: https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/news/backstories/217/ for your father, it will make things smoother.
I figure folks have gone over the cutlery ad nauseum. One thing that might be useful for some of the larger stations is that many of them have underground walkways which can allow you and your father to take your time either getting out of the station or getting back in with typically less traffic and no need to hustle against street lights.
The larger the station, the more likely they’ll have these walkways, and if they do they can be extensive. When arriving, be sure to check the maps on the walls (it’s oriented not to North at the top, but to the direction you’re facing while looking at the map) and figure out the closest exit to your intended destination, and just use the walkways to get you there. Ideally, you may want to be outdoors both ways instead of in the underground walkways as the city’s rather beautiful, but if the press of the crowd gets a little rough the underground walkway should be better.
Also note that the larger stations are going to be the more handicap-accessible. Older stations further out can be less fun for differently-abled travelers, as the focus on refits relied on raw numbers of people and/or the proximity of Olympic venues for next year. So many should offer elevators and escalators, but older stations may only be stairs and sorry about your luck. Some stations offer online maps for reference, if you need to plan things out in advance.