To be honest, my job has been making me pretty miserable for the almost two years that I’ve worked here. The kids are great and some of my coworkers are even fantastic to work with. Heck, I can tell I’ve made a difference because of how much more advanced the kids are from classes where I was the main teacher.
But here’s the thing: I have teachers pushing me to stay in classrooms alone with students and I’m expected to continue to teach even though this is explicitly against my contract, I’ve been asked to change my hair product because it was mistaken for perfume (context: I’m Afro-Latina and unfortunately a lot of hair products are bound to give off a sweeter scent that my coworkers are sensitive to; I was not told it smelled bad only that the kids like it too much), neither of my supervisors speak English anymore so it’s hard to communicate anything verbally (email is an option but they like to have meetings in person here), and altogether I feel miserable and have cried myself to sleep far more times than is healthy.
Everyone has told me to find a new job, but in doing so, I would 1) not be able to visit the states anytime soon despite my deteriorated mental health and 2) I won’t be able to pay for my mental healthcare for the foreseeable future in addition to making student loan payments and whatever it would cost to move apartments should I get a new job (my apartment is leased by my employer). My partner and I even got in a heated discussion about it because he didn’t understand why I wouldn’t just apply somewhere else. He could be right, but it’s already hard enough just thinking about all the work I’d have to do if I got a new job, much less what it would take to go through the application process.
All this to say…when is it acceptable to stick it out and when is it understandable to quit your job even if it potentially means lower pay and having to find a new apartment?
EDIT: Thank you so much for the advice! For context, I’m newly diagnosed with combined-type ADHD so it’s been hard to think about getting that situated as well as worrying about leaving my current job. I think it may be extreme burnout, but I’m also going to look into applying to different jobs just in case something comes along that would be worth jumping ship for. I also have a few people willing to help out should I really need it.
I don’t hate this country (minus some grievances since nowhere is ever perfect, of course) though I am planning to move back to my home country eventually. I think sometimes when you make a major life decision to move to a foreign country, it can be hard to convince yourself the thing you came here to do isn’t working for you. That’s how it feels for me anyway. Having a bunch of opinions helps me sift through my own thoughts on the matter when things are especially overwhelming, so I appreciate the time y’all took.
Stay healthy and happy, everyone ☺️
26 comments
If your job has been making you miserable for almost two years, then the time to quit was almost two years ago.
Sound like you are making excuses to not work.
I’m sorry, this sounds like a really shitty spot to be in.
But unfortunately you’re going to take a financial hit no matter what you decide to do. I’d look at getting your loans refinanced or see what can be done about payments.
If you like teaching over all, you should apply and just see what you can find. Lots of places have BoE housing that’s cheap. Some will help you finance your move.
If Japan isn’t the issue then try a new location.
The time to quit was when you started feeling like crap, but of course we all have 20/20 vision in hindsight.
Now is also the time to get the jobs that others bailed out of in the first month.
> but it’s already hard enough just thinking about all the work I’d have to do if I got a new job, much less what it would take to go through the application process.
This is giving classic burnout energy. If you can’t afford to invest in a new position, maybe investing some time in learning how to deal with burnout rather than thinking about the mounting work that comes with finding a new job can help you get the space you need to make your next move.
Let’s think about what things you can control.
You need to refinance your loans— set up a payment that’s based on your income level. Since Japanese yen is quite low, your salary in the translated into USD will be even lower, and your payment should be very small, if anything. Relieving yourself of money pressure will reduce some stress.
Hair products— you cannot control this. Japan has very few selections available, and as you said, most tend to smell sweeter anyway. Part of inviting an international teacher into the school is dealing with differences. You’re not the only person who needs to culturally exchange— your coworkers need to as well. During your next meeting, bring the jar of hair cream. Use DeepL or ChatGPT to translate some sentences about why you need to use that product. That should be the end of it.
As for leaving you alone in the classroom. Yes. Your contract may stipulate against that. However, your co-teachers may not know your contact or they may think you want to be alone if that’s what your predecessors wanted. Just tell the teachers that you don’t feel comfortable as straightly as you can.
And getting a new job always has some degree of unknowing— whose to say a different place will be better? But, if you’re standing in a pile of crap slowly sinking, it might be a good idea to just look up, and maybe step out to try for something different
Maybe japan wasn’t the place for you to begin with, it happens.
I’m very sorry to hear about what you’re going through, I was in a similar situation in my first year where I was expected to be T1 for pretty much all of my six ES classes a day and the teachers would occasionally leave the room to join a P.E. class or just to chat with other teachers a few classrooms down from me.
I also had the staff complain about my ‘difficult’ accent (Australian) as they were used to hearing an American accent because the last ALT was an American and a bit of a super ALT in that he planned and taught all the classes by himself so it was just expected that I do the same too, I was actually advised by my company to speak in an American accent just for the English lesson, crazy weird advice in my first year.
I do still get HRTs expecting me to be T1 but I gently and firmly explain that I am not T1 before offering to have a meeting with them at a suitable time and supporting them with a few activities or worksheets I have made, they are always quite happy to do that as then they don’t have to plan too much lesson wise and the students are always eager for the lesson too, if they keep leaving the room maybe having a quiet word to the vice principal could help too, I sometimes use Google Translate to get a few messages across as my Japanese isn’t that great and they are always willing to help me.
I hope that the situation gets better for you, take care!
First, student loans if your from the states look into applying for IDR ( income driven repayment) likely you’ll be applicable for 0 level payments. That means you need to file income tax though if you haven’t.
Second, leave the classroom after 10 minutes and go to the principal or VP and say I can’t be there due to my position without another teacher.
Third, as most contract employees don’t overthink your position. You are a warm body to fill the role and not a teacher to them at your company. So please clearly explain the situation and potentially legal issues the schools are creating for your company and conversations will be had.
Lastly if none of this will solve the issue then move on to another organization.
Pretty simple. You are an adult, make an adult decision. Sounds like you got advice from people close to you and ignored it. So why are here asking strangers?
To be quite frank, if the things you described are what is actually making you miserable (being left alone with kids, supervisors not speaking English), teaching overseas might not be the job for you.
tbh 2 years ago, and likely a bit before that. I’m feeling the same as you. People will say JUST get a new job as if it’s that easy to do. I would say make it a point to look for jobs frequently because I think it’s incredibly difficult to do. Sometimes leaving the country is easier than finding other work here.
If you have money, yesterday
I’m an honest believer that you should never stop looking for jobs – even somewhere you love can change dramatically in 6 months and you should have a pretty good idea of where to go next before you need to go IMO
Life’s too short to put up with that crap, just take the hit and gtfo.
I highly suggest leaving. I was feeling the same way after my second year at my previous company and it was terrible. I think it’s already your time to quit considering you’ve cried multiple times from it and it’s bad for your mental health.
There’s a lot to do, but leaving will be the best thing ever. And definitely don’t get an apartment through your future employer or else you’ll feel tied down to a company again. Always get your own place.
>I would 1) not be able to visit the states anytime soon despite my deteriorated mental health
Is your plan to stay in Japan?
>My partner and I even got in a heated discussion about it because he didn’t understand why I wouldn’t just apply somewhere else. He could be right, but it’s already hard enough just thinking about all the work I’d have to do if I got a new job, much less what it would take to go through the application process.
You have to take action. Quit or try to find a new gig while you are still working.
Do you live with your partner? Are they able to help pick up the financial slack for you if you quit?
Hello. I’m latina living in Japan. You can pm me and we can talk if you need someone to talk to <3
Are you tired of your job or tired of Japan? Do you want to live in another country or go back to your home country?
I’m a full time T1 homeroom teacher here in Japan. I am also burnt out. I have had to find ways to manage my free time to not be so burnt out. Japanese culture burns me out too…I feel for you..
What has helped me a lot is just not giving a FFFF and doing my job and what I can do to make it through the day. I do my best but if I have a slow or bad day I don’t beat myself up for it. I also ignore my peers and co workers who bring me stress. I have tunnel vision and just do my job.
My wife had a horrible job. She came home crying everysingle day for 3 weeks. I told her to quit every day. After a month she listened and she thanks me for pushing her to quit. Best decision ever she says.
I’m not teaching in Japan but working as a researcher at a well-known institute in Tokyo. Working in Japan as a researcher was one of my biggest dreams. Like you, I’m Latina (from a huge country in South America), so I know how you feel about hair products and smells that could be “harmful” to your work environment. It sucks, and you start to think you always were a problem, but you get used to that (I mean, I don’t like it either, but I can relate to them as well.)
Last year, I got the opportunity to work here as a researcher, finally. And yesterday, I left my 2 months’ notice here. I was humiliated and harassed at every meeting I had. I was crying more than enjoying the whole experience. I was hating science. And that was my wake-up call. I have always loved science. My entire life was related to it. The decision to leave the institute I’ve always wanted to work in sounds better than continuing on it.
If you start to think about leaving, then you have your answer. I’m sure you will be fine and find something that fits better on you.
Good luck to us!
A lot of people have given good advice already. So I’ll just add that if the perfume thing is really causing an issue, maybe you could try importing Keratin Research keratin treatments. They don’t have to straighten your hair, but can make curly hair easier to manage with less product.
Also, maybe apply for jobs in your area? Maybe they could also have company housing or help you find a new place. Then you just have to hire movers (and/or have friends/your partner help).
I don’t think the pay for teachers here is usually that different, and when you feel better you can choose to possibly apply to places with better pay.
Best of luck to you *hugs*
Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health
Is going back to your home country on the table for you? Might be time to go back if for no other reason than to see loved ones.
if you juggle it right, there’s a way out. as suggested, look for another job with company housing, or maybe moving allowance. how is your savings? and do you have pto? one thing you could do is plan to put in your notice and cash in pto after your last day if they allow that. then if money isn’t too tight add a few more days before your next start date. use your time off for a mental break or even a trip back home. some movers can hold your stuff, so that way it’ll be stored while you’re gone.
trust me it won’t be near as exhausting as you expect, once that weight is lifted and none of their bullshit matters anymore because F you, i have a light at the end of the tunnel. ask your partner and friends for help. it’s not easy but it’s better than indefinite misery!
what comes next? Go to work to collect a paycheck and plan for what comes next. If you can’t emotionally detach from it all, you probably should quit, before the summer heat adds to your misery. If you can just let the complaints in one ear and out the other, as it were, and spend your down time job searching, do that while you still have a paycheck.