You are given creative control of NJPW. You have one year to tank the company or the planet will explode. What do you do?

42 comments

1. Returning to Inokiism & making Okada wrestle 5 minute matches while in an uncomfortable suit. Easy.

2. 2 minute okada matches and resign the OG bullet club bone soldier for a year long blood feud with Wato over the world heavyweight championship

3. Make EVIL and Yano feud for all the belts. It would only make sense with Yano winning the G1 climax 2023, especially after that unbeaten run and that 180 minute iron man match with okada that he won 1-0 in super ultra mega overtime

4. Taguchi vs Yano Toru wrestle kingdom main event. Okada runs in and betrays Yano and Taguchi and Okada joins House of Torture.

5. Make David Finlay bullet club leader… oh wait….

6. Bring in Goldberg, have him run through the roster in 5 minutes squashes, win the IWGP heavyweight championship, and let him retire without dropping the belt.

7. Ryback comes out with his new gimmick as a stuttering Jesus-loving ex-marine. He easily squashes Sanada for the title and runs through the entire roster in two minute squash matches until his real rival arrives. The Great Khali debuts as a master of karate and friendship for everyone. They wrestle in the main event a record 200x. Each match the champion loses. 200 title changes. It’s gold Jerry!

8. Have EVIL beat an ultra-popular babyface to win the top belt and then constantly need help to retain his championship, including just barely beating a junior for said top belt. Wait..

9. Create a mix tag titles and book a Yano and Fukigen title run that last 300 days.

10. Bring back Yoshi Tatsu and have him feud with Evil for the IWGP belt.

11. It’s simple really, first you fire Hiroshi Tanahashi, then you bring back Bob Sapp, then you put the belt back on Bob Sapp, finally have EVIL beat Bob Sapp for the title

12. David Finlay as a baby face vs the charisma void IWGP Champ, Yujiro Takahashi.

    Every show opens up with a 10 minute in ring Finlay promo.

    House of Torture style booking for all the heels.

    Finding some washed up gaijin to throw the tag belts on.

13. Every show is just 3 hours of Okada VS SANADA.

14. Let the planet explode.

15. Everyone’s plans involving pushing EVIL hurts me deeper than I expected lmao

16. Somebody already mentioned Russo as head booker for some reason, do that.

17. All grandpa and uncle year long tournament for the belts.

18. Push evil as hard as I can, have okada lose to Dick Togo clean in a 3 minute squash, house of torture beat everyone with interference and overall dick togo-ing

    Uncle nobu never wins the jr title

19. Okada goes on a losing streak and gives up even trying just lays down in the ring.

    The us title becomes the main title in the company but id then won by veer in wwe and only defend once every 18 months

    Toru yano goes on a winning streak winning the g1, the new japan cup, and the best of the super juniors

    And I would release all their other top stars to bring muto out of retirement along with all the other top stars now over the age of 60

20. Sign Roman reigns and make him a face

21. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, joins Bullet Club.

    The terrible new BC theme song plays twice before every match, events run long from excessive too sweeting and back raking, and several new BC civil wars break out at every event. The merch store become an unnavigable mess of rehashed skulls.

22. Keep Gedo as booker, sit back, enjoy the shows and toast the end of the world when it comes.

23. Bring over a bunch of people from AEW who the domestic fanbase doesn’t know or care about and have them bury all the domestic stars. Tons of interference and cheating in every match. No clean finishes.

24. I give the belt to Naito only to have him immediately drop it to EVIL who is suddenly leader of the Bullet Club

25. Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson get released from WWE

    Immediately sign for NJPW

    They challenge Okada & Tanahashi, beat them in 4 minutes with a rollup

    Anderson and SANADA have a match for the belt, its a draw

    SANADA is stripped at the next show, Anderson gets the belt because why not, no explanation from NJPW management

    Anderson brings back the previous belt design, breaks the belt in half using a literal Machinegun in a pre-taped segment, and Gallows becomes co-champion

    At Wrestle Kingdom, they face the Stone Pitbull (a literal Stone Pitbull) for the belt(s)

    A returning Maria Kanellis distracts Gallows, and SANADA knocks out Anderson and places the statue on him

    Red Shoes does a fast count, 1-2,3, your new IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, the Stone Pitbull

26. Give it to Tony K

27. Turn it into All female wrestling

28. Jake Lee wins the IWGP Heavyweight title, the Usos wins the tag titles, Kenny beats Okada in a squash, Himoru loses to the LWO, Endeavor buys NJPW and places Vince as executive director

29. Bench everyone, and take down all past content. Bring in Goldberg and tyrus for multi million dollar contracts. Run consecutive 3 hr ppvs (1 per week) built around a best of 7 for each belt 1 ppv at a time, all of them decided on the 7th match. Each fall/match is only 5 minutes, with a intermission between each match in the series to eat up the rest of time. During the intermissions, show an empty ring. No commentary whatsoever.

    If the company is still going after 3 months, have them both retire and vacate all belts. Payout the time left on those contracts. Then they comeback, with new contracts for more money and run back the previous booking/matches.

    Wash,rinse, repeat.

30. Only book promos. No matches, no builds, no heat, just promos.

31. Keep working with AEW as they scalp Ospreay.

32. Kevin Kelly: “Wait, is that…Is that David Arquette?!”

33. Captain New Japan returns and beats Okada in ten seconds. Done.

34. Forbidden door opens- Control Your Narrative walks through.

35. The serious, non-EVIL, answer would be to take away anything that would give fans enthusiasm and replace it with wastes of time.

    1.Turn any rising babyface heel.

    2. Hire guys who were famous 15 years ago and have them hotshot to titles.

    3. Have Okada, SANADA, and Naito lose to midcarders from NOAH, AJPW, and ROH.

    4. Have every babyface tag team betray eachother.

    5. Shota Umino fart gimmick.

    6. Have the heels show up out of shape, barely able to work 10 minutes.

    7. Swerves for the sake of “heat” that don’t usually lead to a payoff.

    8. Have highly-commercialized promo segments with Fale and Yujiro selling Skittles and KFC.

    9. Don’t announce PPV cards until the day of.

    10. Douki fart gimmick.

36. Book Bryan Danielson to compete in the G1 Climax.

37. Hire Tyrus. Put every championship on him.

38. Stop promoting and selling any tickets or merchandise. Take out a bunch of risky loans and spend it on fireworks

39. Hire Bischoff and Hogan and let them run the company.

40. Hire Vince Russo.

41. Toma Tonga as world champion. Japanese crowds just dont react to him as much as you’d think they would to a semi BulletClub OG.

42. Hire Vince to run creative