If I converse with a close friend (who I’m used to speaking casually with) together with his girlfriend (who I’ve never met) – should I use keigo?

Should I only use keigo when directly addressing his girlfriend? Or should I just drop it all together even though we haven’t really met , since they know who I am?

6 comments
  1. There’s a difference between keigo and polite. I’d use polite over keigo with a friend of a friend, but it’s not like you would be shunned or viewed badly if you chose keigo.

  2. I’d be curious to hear everyone’s thoughts on what level of casualness to use with your friend *while in the new person’s presence* too, since it feels a bit awkward either way (using very casual speech in front of a new person OR using less casual speech to the person you’re close with)

  3. Polite and adapt if it feels comfortable enough like in most language !

  4. Yeah, make sure to put the o before manko. Also do a full blown knees and hand to the ground bow as you say it infront of her.

  5. If within same-ish age, I’d say stay away from keigo. Using keigo right off the bat could make you sound cold and distant, super formal. It’s like walking up to a new acquaintance and saying “how do you do?”

  6. I think it’s excessive unless you mean です・ます (which Japanese people often will call 敬語, even though learners rarely categorize it that way). Even casual form might be OK, given that you’re already close to your friend. Choosing to use polite forms is putting a certain distance between you guys which might not be desired.

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