Planning on going to Japan in March next year (hopefully). I want to propose to my girlfriend on this trip and have been thinking of when is a good time to do so. Right now my best idea is to propose at Jishu Shrine at the love rock challenge. The only problem I have been wondering about is if this would be inappropriate to do since it is a shrine. Would it be offensive to anyone if I were to propose at a shrine? Any advice would be helpful!! Thank you!
Edit: After reading everyone suggestions I might try to do the proposal earlier in the trip. On her birthday we are going to shinjuku gyoen for a hanami date. I might try to go early in the day so it wont be as crowded!
12 comments
I have seen several people ask similar question. I would say that as long as you are not bothering other people with it, like blocking the path to other people, etch, it should not be a problem at all. I think that it’s actually a nice choice as it’s a shrine that is visited by lovers and you can get charms, like a pair of futari no ai ( [https://www.jishujinja.or.jp/english/](https://www.jishujinja.or.jp/english/) ) from there to have an extra souvenir of that moment.
Inappropriate? No. Cumbersome? Somewhat. This is usually a crowded area, and while you may not be bothering anyone too much, it really would be like getting proposed during one of the major league’s games (some people care for over the top gestures, others do not like them at all).
Why check to respect local custom when you can just gaijin smash your way through everything! /s
As a frequent tourist I’d think you’ll be fine as long as you don’t make a scene or cause inconvenience to others, which is near impossible if you’re looking to propose (and celebrate your love) at a religious site.
The thing is – even if you cause any inconvenience or disrespected anyone, they’d probably be too polite to tell you. Unless you do something obscene like dress up in cosplays and use the items at the shrine as your proposal photo op.
Edit: Thought people enjoys sarcasm here; oh well let me try this way.
TL:DR Don’t do it; even for a shrine as popular as Jishu jinja at Kiyomizu dera, it’s still a shinto shrine and corresponding etiquette should follow.
Make your wish for good relationship on the wooden tablets at the Jishu jinja then may I suggest take her for a stroll back to Kamogawa where you can pop the question with the river bank and lights as your backdrop.
If you really intend to drop your knee on a religious site then try Shogunzuka at Seiryu-den where you get a view overlooking Kyoto with barely any tourist around.
Pick a different spot TBH it’s crowded and thus rude
I’d suggest being low key. Not over the top or anything, please no cosplays, but off to the side a little bit or find a secluded area. You could also research on google the frequency rates of visitors, often when you search a place it’ll tell you under the information what times it gets busiest. Idk if it’ll do it for a shrine, but it’s worth checking if you’re considering being polite to other tourists.
For me, your idea is not that bad. It is somehow a great place for you to have a proposal. I think its an open place just make sure you are not bothering anyone.
I’m not too familiar with Jishu shrine, but for example Izumo Taisha is famous for lovers but it’s bad luck to show any loving action within the grounds (when you enter the tori) like holding hands/kissing, etc. it’s bad luck for the gods in the shrine as they supposedly become jealous of your love and will curse you. At least that’s what people believe. I think it’s better to not propose in the actual shrine grounds but in a park afterwards or outside (maybe even near where people write wooden messages and tie omikuji might be okay). You’re so thoughtful to think about the proposal so deeply.
There is a big unwritten rule about kissing in public in Japan. Nobody does it (maybe you can see younger couples kissing on the streets in Tokyo, but not many in Kyoto unless they’re tourists). I assume that if you propose and she says yes, there’ll be some kind of hugging/kissing that could make people around you really uncomfortable. They might not say anything and might not complain, but I would choose another place, if possible a bit more private.
Super nintendo world theme park or nowhere !
Haha. I saw your edit. Can I suggest that her birthday stays her birthday and you propose to her another day. People get weird about their birthdays being special and sharing special dates.
That’s just my not-asked-for 2 cents
If you are asking if a proposal at a religious site is inappropriate, chances are that your fiancée to be would feel the same.
Safe to avoid it altogether tbh. It could make her feel bad or shamed about it if you do. Even though it might be ok
Don’t propose on her birthday. Your proposal day should be its own thing, not forever part of her birthday.