So recently joined a futsal team where all the members are japanese and after the match we had a BBQ, everyone was very nice and sent me messages after the meeting but this guy particularly was like :
“○○さん今日はありがとうございました✨
海外の友達できて嬉しいです！
全然お話しできなかったので今度よかったらカフェとかご飯とか行きたいです！”
I’m not homophobic at all but is this a friendly invitation or something more?
Also I mentioned I’m busy on 3 different dates he suggested but keep suggesting other days.
27 comments
Looks normal to me.
You can relax, you’re being eigo bandited rather than butt bandited. Your brown cherry is not in jeapordy, go if you feel like it.
In my eyes seems like a normal invitation
[deleted]
Would you be more or less suspicious if you got that from a woman?
It’s just friendly and also, Japanese people will often say “I hope we can get coffee/lunch/whatever sometime” but they never actually make it happen. It’s just a friendly thing to say.
Is it now gay for two men to get dinner or a coffee? I seem to have missed a lot of memos, my wife will be angry.
Bromances are a thing here for sure. Go enjoy your future bro
Honestly, kinda uncommon if both of you are japanese. If you were a girl, japanese people would consider that a “date”.
But because you’re both guys, it’s not a “date” anymore, and just a place to chat for awhile. But be aware that he may invite you to sketchier circles. This happened twice to me, the conversation would talk about a special club where you can learn about business from a successful guy for a small fee, and this could lead to Amway and other cults as well.
Just saying, no harm and going and getting to know the guy, just be aware.
Relax, he’s probably just excited to practice his English lol. It’s just coffee, there’s no reason to sweat about it~~
It’s just coffee man. I can understand if guys don’t hang out with guys much in certain countries but there’s nothing to worry about here.
Even if he were gay, it’s a cafe. If he tries to invite you to a hotel then you have your answer.
Honestly that’s kinda weird. They would usually be nervous about being that forward especially with coworkers. If he was drunk when he said that, then that would make sense maybe
i feel like something is missing here, possibly just being the token foreign friend for a coffee and free English practice?
surprised me too because in my home country this is just not done, you dont go “out” as two men, or even a trio of men really just to grab coffee or food somewhere unless youre really really good friends or related
but its normal here. Even had guys insist on paying for me
Maybe he’s gay, maybe he’s not, what does it matter in Reiwa 5?
Just go get the coffee and see where it takes you.
The guy literally said he wants to be friends with people from foreign countries. Even if the guy is gay, who cares, you think he’s gonna try to rape you? I’m a straight guy and have had gay friends, I’ve had sex with zero of them. You think he’s gonna roofie your coffee or something?
My advice, meet up with him. Gay or not, he may be a nice friend to have. If he’s a weirdo, stop meeting up with him. It’s simple.
As others have said, I give this a 60-80% chance just to practice English and hang out, 10-30% of him trying to get you into some sketchy shit/pyramid scheme/etc, and a tiny chance to none of this being a romantic invitation.
Then there’s also the opposite to this question :
”Why spend time with him, when I can spend time with a hot girl?”
People repeatedly claim to be lonely and lacking friends on this sub. It’s shit like this that keeps them that way.
YES, VERY NORMAL FOR AN AVERAGE HUMAN BEING, FELLOW HUMAN.
Did you never go to a cafe with a male friend back home?? How do people make friends if it’s considered strange to have a coffee together?
Oh my sides, no this is absolutely Innocent but you remind me of other foreigners reaction when while being a woman I compliment another woman. It’s very very common here it’s just a way to communicate with people and it’s very agreeable to exchange compliments like that but there are people who really can’t understand you can do this kind of thing totally innocently. It’s kind of sad.
Ah, the “my first foreign friend!” Be prepared for an awkward ‘date’ where you spend the first 20 minutes answering generic questions about your country, followed by another 10 minutes of questions about the Japanese foods you like/dislike, and then another few minutes of awkward silence while you wonder if he realizes that you can talk about topics not related to your ‘foreignness.’ You’ll then part ways never to talk again.
Just be safe and bring a condom (for him)
Take careful note of his order.
If he has an ejaculatto or a fapuccino, he might have ulterior motives . . .
In Japan, just being in a cafe with a man is never considered gay and nobody gives a shit. There seems to be more discrimination and prejudice against gay people overseas than in Japan.
He wants your English, not your bumbum virginity 😉
He wants his first foreign friend. Don’t overthink it.