I once told my boss that his instructions are quite vague that gives me confusion sometimes when he asked me what’s my reason why I do mistakes at work. Then when I quit my job he told me that when I told that to him, his heart got broken. He says that saying aimai in Japanese is quite rude. Idk if this is true or just doing mental gymnastics on me lol
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It’s definitely not a compliment.
Also, the reason you made this a thread instead of using the Questions thread is very曖昧
Yeah thats pretty rude…
So what is the not rude way of telling some one they are being unclear?
No, you are not rude at all. And yes, your ex-supervisor was soft that he/she couldn’t take the constructive criticism.
Crazy rude to say that lol. I’d say it’s roughly on the same level as calling somebody stupid in an English speaking environment.
I might not think that’s rude but apparently he received massive emotional damage from it. I think of it in similar context to 適当 (tekitou) as in “whatever, careless” when I encounter something that seems not completely thought out or straightforward.
Could it be that the Japanese way of not being more direct comes off as vague? Main reason I hate when people try so hard to use keigo and be polite is because I end up having no idea what they’re saying.
Even if it would be rude by native Japanese standards, you should absolutely get the gaijin pass for not knowing the nuance of the word.
NTA. Broke my heart… what a fucking snowflake this boss is. He should be able to take mild criticism without trying to gaslight his juniors.
The word 曖昧 doesn’t have a particularly bad nuance, it’s that instead of saying “I didn’t understand the explanation” (your fault), you basically said “your explanation was bad” (his fault). And you said it in a very direct manner at that, you have to be less direct with Japanese people.
Saying aimai is very direct, so you may come off as a bit of an asshole if you say it in the context that you had, but your boss and his broken heart? L O L.
He’s being a snowflake (a lot of people here are very sensitive to minor ego slighting, moreso than in the west in my experience), but it was your fault for being like ‘it’s your fault I can’t understand’. Even if it’s his fault, you can’t say that.
The answer is in the question.
In japanese culture shit rolls downhill my friend. Rather than the word usage, the fact that you were shifting blame back on him was the big issue here I think. So the nuance isn’t in the word but in the behaviour.
It’s not about the word being rude, it’s about the way you said it. Based on your responses, you said it to actually criticize the person who is your superior and you basically told him he is bad at his job. Of course it will sound rude.
He could argue that your boss’s instructions were 曖昧 but it is your job to clear up any confusions you had with the instructions.
1. The boss needs to grow up and not get upset about a word, especially from someone who is not native.
2. Yeah, by most part in Japanese companies you are expected to somehow put together pieces of puzzle given by the management and make sense of it. Why they cannot just communicate clearly? I don’t know.
You already quit so who cares
He’ll get over it. OK we’re in Japan but Japanese bosses need to hear the harsh reality of business life whether it’s ‘rude’ or not. Everyone has a part to play in any business. That’s what you felt. He needs to listen.