My partner is Japanese and we’re considering moving there. I’d like to have a realistic understanding of the challenges and opportunities I’d face as a foreigner. I’ve been there a few times to visit, but I’ve never gone with the intention of setting down roots. I hope to glean some wisdom about what I’m getting into from internet strangers. Here are some of the factors I’m considering. Please let me know if I’m mistaken about any point, or if you have something to add.
Cons: -Work limited to specific industries (ESL, actor)
\-Language barrier (will take some time to become fluent)
\-Differences in cultural values (not a huge fan of hierarchy or patriarchy)
\-Maybe hard to make friends with similar interests
\-No weed (it helps with my insomnia)
Pros: -Can afford a house in Japan
\-Convenient location for travel around Asia
\-Safety, healthcare, and quality infrastructure
\-High quality cuisine and beverages
\-I enjoy the challenge of living abroad
Thanks in advance!
5 comments
>Cons: -Work limited to specific industries (ESL, actor)
What kind of work do you do now? There are Japanese companies that recruit westerners for high-skill positions, particularly in IT.
>-Differences in cultural values (not a huge fan of hierarchy or patriarchy)
This probably depends more on where you work and who you socialize with. If you live in Tokyo and don’t socialize with old people, you probably won’t see this so much. But if you work at a traditional Japanese company, you probably will.
>-Maybe hard to make friends with similar interests
As an expat, you’ll probably have a somewhat easy time finding other expats to socialize with (assuming you live in Tokyo or another large city). Whether this translates to any good friendships is unknown, but I think there’s good potential there: usually expats and/or immigrants from a particular country (or group of similar countries) tend to congregate together when they’re in a very different new country. They might not have been friends if they had all stayed in the same city in their home country, but because they’re now strangers in this new and alien place, the fact that they came from the same place and share the same culture of origin becomes something they have in common.
One advice that it was the most effective for myself is to “reduce your expectations towards people and culture” because in Japan the majority is Japanese people with their own culture and no Mather what you do you can’t change that, so in the same level you ignore some things you don’t like in your country ( in my case violence, street children, poor structures and so on ) you may need to play a blind eye for many things in Japan for your own mental sanity.
Japan is not perfect never was and never will be so the important thing is to protect yourself from the bad small things of everyday life.
Also I recommend big cities because people just don’t care about your existence so is more relaxed vibes, in the country side people will notice you more.
>My partner is Japanese and we’re considering moving there.
I hope by ‘partner’ you mean legal spouse (ideally of opposite gender). Otherwise you may run into visa complications.
What you haven’t mentioned at all is what you plan on doing for a living in Japan. You mention concerns that you’d be limited to being an ALT or Eikaiwa ‘teacher’ (I’ll ignore the part about being an Actor because I’ve never seen any westerners on Japanese tv that weren’t already fluent).
You do mention that you’re not fluent in Japanese and that it will take you time to become fluent. Is this something that you’re working on now or you’d expect to begin taking classes after getting here?
The cultural values and friends thing is way overblown. Its hard for adults to make friends in general. Cultural values shift wildly between employers. Work for a western company if you want to work for a company with western values. There are plenty of them around.
>Convenient location for travel around Asia
If this is a major factor for you, then really you should be looking at Hong Kong or Singapore. Japan is way off in the top right corner of APAC. Sure, its closer than Los Angeles, but you’re not going to be jetting to Phuket for the weekend.
My advice would be to look for jobs in your field and see who is hiring. If you’re not able to find any jobs in your field then I’d say moving to Japan would not be a wise move for you.
>My partner is Japanese and we’re considering moving there.
Seconding /u/Benevir hope that by partner you mean opposite-sex spouse. Because otherwise you’re not getting a spouse visa.
>Work limited to specific industries (ESL, actor)
Well, you’re almost certainly not going to be an actor, so… Yeah. You might end up being relegated to English teaching until you get your Japanese fluency up.
>Language barrier (will take some time to become fluent)
Have you started learning Japanese yet? If you’re concerned about the language barrier the obvious solution is to start learning the language. Don’t wait until you arrive.
>Differences in cultural values (not a huge fan of hierarchy or patriarchy)
Well, most of what you read on the internet about how Japan is so hierarchical or patriarchal is mythical BS. It’s a much more ordered society than the US, but you’re unlikely to experience the extremes of hierarchy in the career fields that are currently open to you.
>Maybe hard to make friends with similar interests
It’s hard to make friends as an adult *in general*. That has nothing to do with Japan. Join some groups centered on your interests. There are meetups happening all the time, all over the country, for pretty much every possible hobby.
>No weed (it helps with my insomnia)
[Sad Trombone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQeezCdF4mk)
Just chiming in that it is pretty common and legal here for marriages between foreigners and Japanese to have different last names. So you would marry where you are and then she will need to file it in Japan without changing name.