Hi everyone so I have been considering getting a vasectomy for a while now but I can’t quite decided whats right for me so to say. So I would like to ask you all some questions about dating and also the ease of getting a vasectomy.
I’ll guess I’ll start with that I haven’t looked in to it to much but have hard is it to get a vasectomy and how much would such a procedure cost? Also for you who did it what was the deciding factor?
Secondly I would be lying if I didn’t confess to a large reason why I have been considering a vasectomy is so that condoms won’t be needed in a relationship, I know asking her to go on the pill is a option but most don’t want to and I’m not the type of person to force someone else to take something they don’t want. But at the same time I’m tired of the condom in long term relationship and sadly there aren’t many male birth control options besides a condom and I guess the pull out method lol, which is honestly frustrating because I would honestly take a birth control pill if they were a option lol. To cut it short is a vasectomy worth it just so I don’t need condoms, I honestly can’t decide and would love to hear different arguments for why or why not.
Third Japanese women and dating, I know that a lot of women in Japan for different reasons social or personal eventually wants children, Im pretty confident at this point to say that Ill probably be living here for the rest of my life and the fact is most people I interact with and form friendships or relationship with are and probably will continue to be Japanese people. So in dating of course the majority of women I date will be Japanese and I feel like a vasectomy will probably reduce my dating pool quite drastically as a lot will probably loose interest once they hear have had a vasectomy. Am I just getting in my own head here or am I on to something?
Fourth and last, my own position about having children in the future. I’m honestly so split on this and can’t decide what is right for me, I personally have a post history about a fear for dead bedrooms and I personally feel that children seem to corelate with a lot of dead bedrooms, and I have also seen but also heard how much strain and stress having children almost always is and how many relationships end up just sticking together until the children grow up. But at the same time I have heard opposite opinions and I’m not sure I want to forgo the possibility to have a child in the future. Not sure how I should untangle myself from my own thoughts here and just form a coherent decision on this one, especially since I personally feel like a vasectomy shouldn’t be view as birth control but rather a sterilization considering the risk of it not being 100% that I can reverse it.
14 comments
If you think you may change your mind about wanting children, you can freeze some sperm before getting a vasectomy.
Snip away, or don’t. You decide based on all the things you said in your post. I don’t see how anybody can help you with this. You want kids? Don’t do it. You don’t care about kids? Do it. But that’ll affect your relationships. Care closed.
OP: Should I snip my balls people of reddit?
Sounds pretty Darwinian to me.
You wrote about “condoms in a long term relationship”, so you are probably aware, but I just want to throw in there, that even if you get a vasectomy, you or the other person might still want you to use condoms for protection against STDs.
I personally would advise against it if you have not made up your mind regarding having children in the future. As the other commenter mentioned, freezing some sperm is possible, but you should be aware that trying that way too have children will be very expensive in comparison to trying naturally.
My thoughs are with you.
> To cut it short
Well, it’s certainly an option.
At the end of the day, it’s your body, so you can do whatever you want with it. Some vasectomy procedures can be reversed, but at the same time doesn’t guarantee you will be able to have children. You don’t seem that keen on having children anyways (sorry don’t know your age).
From your reasons, it seems you especially want to do it because you don’t want to use condoms. Sorry if my assumption is wrong, but it’s your post’s main impression. Remember that condoms (in long-term relationships or not) are not only for preventing unwanted pregnancies but also for preventing STDs.
Will it affect your dating with Japanese women? Most likely. Will children affect a dead bedroom? Sometimes. Depends on the couple and how they manage communication and expectations before and after birth.
Just keep yourself safe and make sure your decision is what you want for yourself in the long term.
If you are still not 100% sure, the answer is always don’t do it.
The male oral pill is coming, might be a good alternative
You need to decide whats more important. Personally im not interested in having kids, and if you aren’t you shouldn’t fence sit just to make someone else happy later. Im not snipped i dont really see why you need to do it just because you dont want kids.
That stance definitely reduces your options a lot but its not like there arent millions if women living in Japan.
(Note: I am not a man.) So what jumps out to me is that this post is about vasectomies, but you focus much more on doing it to have lots of sex rather than doing it to not have kids.
So you get the snip. Where is all this raw sex going to be coming from? The way it’s a main point in your post, you’re talking like it’s a given haha. Just my opinion but surely it would be more logical to just find a woman to date who is on contraceptives? (Or are you doing it because you want to fuck around limitlessly…? Because if so, I’ve got news for you about STDs…)
Having a vasectomy when you’re still on the fence about having kids JUST so you can have condomless sex seems a bit insane to me. I know they can be reversed now but still. It seems a bit like your priorities are a bit out of whack? But then again I’m not a man haha 🙂
as someone who’s considered this (and may still in future), I’d suggest not rushing to snip yet.
I havent met any JP girls who doesn’t want kids someday. The idea of having a kid free future from a US/west mindset hasn’t spread far in Japan (yet)
2 cents from me. 1st get into a (committed) relationship, and early on talk about kids, expectations etc beforehand. (are you open to adopting? someone else brought up freezing your cream etc)
Had this talk early on with current partner & she ended up being fine taking birthcontrol despite being skeptical at 1st. It’s something to consider
Your commitment to raw-dogging is something else.
Make sure you’re well past the point of potentially wanting to have kids. I wouldn’t do it without being married and talking to your spouse at that time.
I totally get not wanting to worry about unwanted pregnancy, but this is a decision that is not just about you. And unless you’re with **the one** and you’re going to get married, I recommend reading up on the STI situation in Japan. Wear a condom if you’re going to be with more than your current partner in the future. Shits risky.
Reversing the procedure is way more expensive and difficult than having it done in the first place.