This is my text for my last exam in japanse this year, wondering if it is possibly if i can get help from someone with my grammer and if i have spelt something wrong, i know im asking for alot, but my grade is hanging on this, its a text about the japanse train system. Please write back if thir is something i need to change:)
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このブログは私のけいけんにほんのりょくする。なぜ日本では電車をするのかをせつめいします。日本の電車はいつも時間どおりです。したがって、電車でのりょこをけいかくするのはいつでもかんたんです。私はおすすめのJRパスを買います、JRパスは”Japan Railways”。これで日本ぜんこくをたびすることができます。JRパスがあればしんかんせんもします。わたしは（Japanrails.net)とかいてあります。しょさいについてはここをクリックしてください(https://japanrailpass.net/en/)。しんかんせんのチケットはよく高いです。でも電車にたくさんのるならJRパスはとてもやすいですとくらべてしんかんせんのチケットです。
ルシュタイムににもつをつかってりょこすることをさいげんします。でも、しんかんせんいのらなければ、行けないとなると、それはむりです。してくださいのながいたびにまえにせきをよやくしてください。私はいちどひろしまにいって。でも私のかえりみちはひどいです。わたしのかえりみちはあのやきょおのおわります。私のでｓんははとてもたくさんのひとがのっていました。
しかし、ときを電車でいどするだけならSuicaカドのかたがよいとおもいます。Suicaカドをつかえばまいかいきっぷを買うひつよがありません。jeast.coでSuicaは買うます。かれらのウェブサイトは(https://www.jreast.co.jp/e/pass/suica.html#category01).
2 comments
There’s a lot to fix, but to tell you the truth… if we fix too much it might look too *out of ordinary* from your previous writing(s). Which sounds like another problem concerning your grade.
I’d suggest to simply start reviewing what you typed, since I see a bunch of typos in both the Japanese and English test. Review the words you used, and make sure you typed what you intended to type.
Honest first impression: both the grammar and diction seem to contain a ton of issues that almost every sentence requires significant rework.
Also in conjunction with the seemly mistakes, the lack of Kanji usage makes it super difficult to read.
However since I’m a beginner Japanese learner myself with only 9 months of experiences, and I can only read at JLPT N2 Level and my own writing contains mistakes as well, i probably shouldn’t be providing any actual detailed correction.
But one final advice is to provide an English version of this so whoever is reviewing it knows exactly what you were *trying* to say, and they can offer corrections without changing your intended meaning.
However some high level advice:
Stick to either 普通形 or ます形, don’t switch them between sentences.
です and ます are never used in the *middle* of a sentence. They are 丁寧語 sentence *endings*.
Stick to the same tense. In your story telling(?) you were jumping between past tense and present tense randomly. The past tense for です is でした btw.
「電車に乗る」instead of 「電車をする」
JR Pass isn’t “Japanese railways”. Not sure what you were trying to say there.
Then there are a few cases where I suspected that you wanted to say something in English, so you looked up direct translation from Google translate or a dictionary without looking at how the Japanese words is used. Always look up 例文 when you learn a new Japanese word, don’t just plug it in like they are 1:1 replacements of an English word/phrase.