I live in Japan, I’m around N3 level, and I’m able to have simple conversations in Japanese. However I’ve been told three distinct times by Japanese people that my Japanese is “kawaii”, lol. I understand the nuance of kawaii is broader than cute in English, and I don’t mind sounding kawaii, but the problem is that I don’t actually understand why I give that impression. I also want the ability to speak normally when needed. For context, I am a guy.
Only on one occasion could I figure out what it was I said that sounded cute: “料理(すること)は好きじゃない。” It seems that the 好きじゃない is what came off as cute. But why? lol. I just wanted to say I don’t like cooking.
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Any possibility that the person making the remark was just doing it in a flirtatious way? Like “OMG you’re so CuTe for saying that!” . I’ve once had japanese people told me the way I spoke was “gayish” as in how gays would talk in Japan. Blew my mind, lol
I guess 好きじゃない sounds kind of childlike and unsophisticated. Not your fault! You’re just using the words you know. If someone says it’s cute, maybe ask them what a guy like you would ordinarily say. In the case of 料理は好きじゃない even by simply saying あまり好きじゃない it sounds a little more nuanced since you’re saying “i don’t really like it” instead of “I don’t like it” Alternatively you could say 得意じゃない which is more like “it’s not my strong point”
You could be speaking like a child, either in terms of word choice or pronunciation.
A bartender that I made friends with in Osaka told me this when I was over there on holiday (my Japanese isn’t very good at all). I got the vibe that he meant not just my Japanese but my mannerisms more generally lol
Don’t look into it too much, I don’t believe it’s meant to be patronizing. The meaning is more “endearing” or “adorable” than cute in this context. It happens on both sides of the fence when Japanese people try to speak English but use that パッション英語. It just comes off as extremely endearing.
I get this a lot. I think there 3 reasons for it (1) I’m an old (foreign) man, so a certain kind of language (serious, formal) is expected of me; (2) but I am afraid of inadvertently saying something rude, so I always err on the side of excessively polite and apologetic; (3) almost all of my teachers have been women, and I have spent a lot of time talking to girlfriends, and then, my wife—so my Japanese is too polite and girly, and doesn’t fit with my appearance.
I’d say just don’t worry about it.
I sometimes may sound childish too when I talk in English.
It may be because the accent or may be because of lack of vocab.
It just take a lot of time to speak different languages normally.
I usually get すごい
Maybe they think your kawaii
Might mean ur attempt at speaking is cute but ur just not that good. I got that at karaoke because frankly I suck at singing but they appreciated the effort.
I used to get it all the time even at N2. I had to make a concerted effort to start copying how guys speak as even my girlfriend said she was starting to get turned off by it. So I started doing stuff like turning じゃない into じゃねえ, でしょう into だろう/やろう, and the final ね into な or skipping it entirely。
Ex:
今日は寒いですね。→ 今日は寒いな。 or a blurt さっむ。
いいね！ → いいな。
すごいね！→ スゲー。
嘘でしょう！ → 嘘やろう。
Also notice how the exclamations become just periods. Toning down your excitement is more “manly” too.
Of course, this is just with casual speech with friends you already know. For more formal/polite speech, it’s better to sound softer so I bring all those ね’s back in. And you also want to avoid going overboard with the casual speech too otherwise you’ll sound like a yakuza or delinquent which is not good either. Think calm and cool, not rude and aggressive.
I usually use 好きじゃない even though I’m in my 40’s and I don’t think the word itself sounds kawaii.
I was told my way of speaking English sounds cute by Americans.
I think it’s just because my accent or something.
You don’t have to care about Japanese people who say kawaii.
To be honest, some Japanese girls tend to say kawaii to anything lol
If you don’t want to be told kawaii, you can tell them 正直(しょうじき)、かわいいって言われる(いわれる)のは嬉しく(くれしく)ないなぁ。
Or you can ask them about where of your Japanese sounds kawaii 😉
Probably means you’re learning through watching anime and talk like a 10 year old.
Like 90% of this sub.
You probably sound like a woman. Men typically learn from female teachers, so we end up sounding more feminine.
This isn’t something you need to worry about as it will go away as your vocabulary improves and you are able to express yourself better. Also as your Japanese improves you’ll eventually others using beginner Japanese and it’ll sound cute to you too.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you will always have native speakers reacting to your Japanese regardless of your level. Someone will always be surprised at how much you know or openly ask you why you know so much.
Being polite in Japanese tends to come off as feminine/queer in male learners (exceptionally so when paired with an uncertain tone). I don’t know how applicable it is across the board but it’s just a personal observation based on learners in Australia that I’ve encountered.
I’ve had straight exes who learned Japanese but gave off queer vibes due to word choice, tone and they learned from peers of their age to fine-tune their speaking skills.
Ultimately, practice makes perfect. If you can find friends of your age group, you’ll get the best sense of how “casual” you can get away with. Otherwise, confidence would likely fix some of the tone issues you might encounter with polite speech.
Also as others have said, 好きじゃない is child-like and wouldn’t be used past maybe early primary school? I’d probably use 苦手 in the sentence you gave
To be honest, when I hear not perfect English from Japanese people, I also think that it is cute. Even if they are constructing complete sentences, I think it’s impressive but still kinda cute.
That’s what people tells me about my Chinese sometimes, and it’s because of what people said here. My words choices are more from textbook and sounds kind of childish or “correct”.
Although, my handwriting resembles to the handwriting in those old Japanese chronicles, people from Japan have told me that my handwriting looks kawaii.
Just word choice I think. Normal not to have full access yet when learning early on.
For example in Japanese you usually don’t directly say you don’t like something. Its not insulting or anything to do so, but probably the part that sounds cute since its more like someone young or acting young– aka cute.
For reference, normally you would say you aren’t a fan of cooking, or cooking isn’t your strong suit. Similar phrases apply to almost anything you would dislike, as its seen as more euphemistic and polite to people who do like those things. At least thats the understanding I’ve picked up over the years 🙂
Life is too short to care about this sort of stuff. Just speak Japanese! They know what you’re saying.
The speech taught generally is either more formal or neutral, which tends towards the kid like from my understanding. Next time tou are with a group of guys, just start imitating how they respond instead of paying attention to what is being said.
That or own it and make it part of your identity.
Reading all these comments makes me doubt the way I speak Japanese too 💀. I use a similar tone as OP (for ex, I’d probably say 料理はあまりすきじゃない) Does it sound appropriate for a HS girl? Or does it still sound childish?
Ha! I’ve had this before yes. I was complaining about something and then said 怒ちゃった…
and a japanese person responded with that. I was just happy I was understood though, nevermind the nuance 😀
If it was a woman who told you that, I understand how you feel. I am a Japanese man, but sometimes I don’t understand the criteria for “かわいい” from women’s perspective. So it seems to me that it is more a difference in value standards between the opposite gender rather than a difference in the Japanese language. Your way of speaking must have touched upon their perception of “かわいい” , which is something that men might not fully comprehend. So you shouldn’t worry too much.
Well, there are guys who constantly use “かわいい” too.
I’ve gotten this too and have been told that it just means that when I say what I know to communicate it’s endearing and admirable how I’m able to say complex ideas in unorthodox ways with simple words. like how someone I knew with English as his second language describes his uncle’s pig farm as “having many porks”, it was kinda cute in an endearing way.
I guess at least it’s not nihongo jouzou
I speak another Asian language pretty badly and get the same “cute” comments in that language too. I figure based on feedback it’s 90% my choice of vocab, and 10% my tone. Seems like oftentimes my choice of words or phrases are similar to what little kids would use, and I tend to speak in a higher tone in languages other than English. So you can imagine a late 30 something speaking in broken and almost baby talk… I’ve been told it’s endearing and/or hilarious. It sucks when I’m at work, trying to be professional, and someone breaks out the “so cute” after I speak.
I would take note of how the guys in your life speak and start from there. Maybe in comparison you’re too formal sounding? Or maybe you could pick up more slang in everyday conversations?
I think it’s probably specifically the use of 好きじゃない over 苦手
If a Japanese says your Japanese is cute, it’s a hidden insult man… Means it’s weird or you’re saying it wrong.
native speakers of a language you’re learning will more often than not say your attempts of speaking their language are cute. not in a demeaning way obviously. they just find it endearing. i get the same when i speak spanish.
I also live in Japan and I don’t think I’ve ever been told that unless I made some weird spelling mistake…and even then it was my husband who said it.
Honestly, they probably mean it as a compliment so I wouldn’t feel too badly about it!
I mean you probably just have a cute accent. It could also be your word choice but you probably just sound like a little doofus which is nice. You ever heard someone speaking English with an accent and thought it was kinda cute how they made some mistakes or whatever? It’s probably like that.
Once i ate those extremely spicy korean noodles in the black and red packages. The next day it hurt so bad and i messaged my japanese girlfriend “やばい、からいうんこ！”
She thought that was hilarious
Probably cause you sound like a Japanese kid does when they speak.
If a Japanese person likes you, they’ll tend to find the accent you have as an English native speaker cute. Probably because they’re so used to seeing the ‘dinner table racism’ version of it on TV that hearing it for real makes them smile. (The English accent depicted on Japanese TV is about as accurate to the real English accent as Speedy Gonzales is to the Mexican accent).
My wife and her sister have told me, from time to time, that my accent is cute. Occasionally, it will be my word choice, like using つもりですか rather than 予定していますか since つもり can apparently come across as more of an accusation, which made my wife spit out her food the first time I asked if she was planning to eat her fries. But usually it’s my pitch deafness.