I visited Japan for a work conference and have lost my mind in the process, in short. I’d like to be brought back to Earth. I’m disillusioned with living in the US and my wife and I are discussing emigrating. We have two young boys 7 and 3 and feel like it’s now or never if we want to either eject or power through school age. We live in Texas. I work onsite at NASA JSC.
Id like to know if bringing kids along is a bad idea. I imagine they’d need an english school, how hard is that? I’m willing to learn Japanese as fast as possible.
Has anyone moved their whole family to Japan? I was going to apply to a job there in Tokyo, but also need to talk about reality of my situation in case that gets serious. I can talk about my job if anyone is curious, or if they’re hiring…
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**39m with family aerospace engineer wanting to leave US**
I visited Japan for a work conference and have lost my mind in the process, in short. I’d like to be brought back to Earth. I’m disillusioned with living in the US and my wife and I are discussing emigrating. We have two young boys 7 and 3 and feel like it’s now or never if we want to either eject or power through school age. We live in Texas. I work onsite at NASA JSC.
Id like to know if bringing kids along is a bad idea. I imagine they’d need an english school, how hard is that? I’m willing to learn Japanese as fast as possible.
Has anyone moved their whole family to Japan? I was going to apply to a job there in Tokyo, but also need to talk about reality of my situation in case that gets serious. I can talk about my job if anyone is curious, or if they’re hiring…
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>Id like to know if bringing kids along is a bad idea.
The 7 year old is going to be ***miserable*** if you end up sending them to a Japanese school. Yes, they’re young and will pick up the language quickly, but they’d be diving into 1st grade without speaking the language.
>I imagine they’d need an english school, how hard is that?
How much are you willing to pay?
The only “English schools” are international schools. They cost 2-5 million yen a year. That’s $15-30k USD.
>I was going to apply to a job there in Tokyo
You’re probably going to end up with a 20-40% pay cut.
Unfortunately, because you have kids, I’d say don’t. They won’t be happy here unless they want to come and fully understand the monumental problems they will have to overcome. Especially the 7 year old, he will struggle the most to catch up with the language in a public school. Not to mention the racial challenges of being foreign. Personally, I’d say don’t do it. You’re not in the position to move as you have kids that would suffer.
In part it comes down to money. If you’ll need “English schools” those are international school, which are very expensive (for reputable schools). You will also likely have to take a pay cut. So, you really need to crunch those numbers.
I moved with a 2.5 year old (now 4), and she’s in local schools, which works for us as she was able to acquire the language early. However, we’re prepared to send her to international school if we need to, thanks to a good job and (frankly) generational wealth.
I will say that the pay issue is a little stark right now. I had a “good” salary when I was hired and though it is ostensibly still very good, the weak yen makes it look worse and worse…
ETA: as to the issue of moving kids abroad and raising them in Japan, honestly there are pros and cons everywhere. It really depends on the kid and family. I know plenty of expat international school kids who are happy and healthy, living good lives. I know some that struggle. It’s hard to predict from a general post (or at all)!
Why don’t you work for the DoD?
You’d have access to English schools that way.
bbbut he has been here for a work conference… should be enough to know where to move…
A close friend of mine moved to Japan 4 years ago with his wife and 2 kids (age 1 and 6 at the time) and he didn’t seem to have any problem. His 6 years old learned Japanese at a astounding pace and became fluent after less one year. Now he needs to worry that his kids will forget out native language lol.
I have no idea about international school though. People in my circle are cool with putting children in public school. And I plan to do the same in a few years, when my kids reach grade school age.
You are in one of the highest paying non-Doctorate professions in the US, so if the plan is to retain the benefits and pay of aerospace, you should target US aerospace/defense companies — you’ll largely need to do this in the US and through their US job boards.
Local hires in this industry make the prevailing local wages (which are better than most), but will still be a *magnitude* lower than your US potential. This becomes important if you plan to send your kids to an international school as they are not cheap.
But an expat role in an US based aerospace company will typically pay for your housing, kid’s schooling, and a COLA adjustment. Your total compensation package would be about 2-3x your current pay. As a local hire expect 2-3x less pay.
Why not leave Texas? Go to Europe, even?
California has tons of aerospace jobs, too. You’ll make even more money out there.
The very moment you started this not with ‘wanting to go to Japan’ but ‘wanting to leave US’, you’ve immediately sent a lot of red flags.
This is a massive decision. You will have far fewer opportunities compared to the US, especially since you’re working with ***NASA***. You don’t have the language ability required for most of you skills to transfer across, so your options are very limited.
Your children and your wife will also face a lot of difficulties. Your children are either going to get stuck in a bubble with other international students at one of the international schools, or they’ll be thrown in the deep end with no safety at a Japanese elementary. I’m not sure which is worse.
But your wife might even have the shorter end of the stick; while your kids will at least have a chance to form a new network within whatever school they go to, your wife will be in a new, foreign environment, with no existing network, lacking the ability to even *talk* to her neighbours. I can see that very easily becoming a lonely experience.
Japan requires a massive investment and a lot of sacrifices to make it work. If your motivation is not a very specific interest in Japan, but simply ’emigration from the US’, there are far, *far* better options.
Don’t be selfish. Your kids will probably be bullied in public school if you don’t put them in an international school setting, and those cost a mint. Then that’s a whole other symbiotic and social ecosystem.
If this is something you’re really adamant about, perhaps consider working on a military base. But a short-term snapshot of Japan isn’t rooted in the realities of living here. If you’re really looking to escape gunland look at Scandinavian for a better quality of life.
Bringing kids along is always a bad idea because they will have language problems.
And, no matter what race they are they will always be outed so chances are high that they will have a miserable childhood.
Sure you can make it slightly easier for them and send them to a English school if you have the money. But even if they study Japanese in their free time and talk/study in English 90% of their daily life at school and home, they will have issues when they grow older.
If you really want to move out of the US, Japan isn’t always the answer. I know Japan seemed amazing and convenient on your trip but staying there for a short time as a tourist vs living there as a resident is entirely different.
Before assuming Japan as your best destination, maybe have a look at r/Amerexit first.
Everyone is so negative 😆 I actually did move my whole family to Japan… and you’re a step ahead of me since you’ve actually been to Japan before (I had never been to Japan at all prior to moving here). My kids were 6 and 8 at the time. We’re all quite happy here, including my kids, who didn’t know any Japanese beyond simple greetings when we arrived & went into Japanese public school.
You say it’s “now or never” but it’s really not—don’t put that sort of pressure on yourself. Give yourself some time to think about it and to figure out what would be available for you job-wise if you moved. There’s no time limit, and that’s especially if you choose to send your kids to an international (English language) school. It’s a huge decision, so don’t rush it.
If you have any specific questions about moving with kids or living here with kids, let me know.
I would also suggest looking into opportunities in other countries as well since it seems like this is a pretty new idea for you, and there are a LOT of options besides Japan.
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Your kids are going to be miserable. Japanese schools are fucking miserable in terms of curriculum and since they’re not Japanese, they’re gonna be prime targets for heavy bullying. Also, you’re family is going to feel the isolation from being immigrants, especially your spouse and kids.
You’re in a good field but get ready for a massive pay cut and with that you may not be able to afford special schooling for them.
Also, you will most likely require BUSINESS level Japanese which takes years to learn. You’re 39, getting kinda old. I’d recommend an English speaking country where your kids would be happy.