Hello. I’m 32m, It’s been more than 1 year that I live in Tokyo (minami-azabu). I have visited some famous places i.e. parks / temples / shrines / viewpoints and that was quite boring experience (may be because I was alone). I don’t go to bars, clubs etc. and eating / travelling alone is a hell. As a tech / games enthusiast I visit the Akihabara once in a month and for shopping I usually go to Ginza or Odaiba. I’m here for 2 more years and I find it hard to make friends or do conversation with people mainly due to language barrier.
Any suggestion to explore places for alone person and where to find some one for hangout / travel / coffee / chat etc.
(please don’t suggest dating apps)
28 comments
You can try meetup and see if any events pique your interest and make friends there
Try museums! Though if you found parks and temples boring, then you’ll probably find those boring as well. Truth is, most public places either involve shopping or just enjoying the space you’re in. Next time you go to a park, maybe take a book and stick around a little longer! Or start exercising in the park. Yoga, jogging, etc.
However, I’m going to do some amateur psychoanalysis: I think the real root of the issue is that you’re lonely.
If you’re interested in making friends, try looking at [meetup.com](https://meetup.com) for gatherings for people with similar interests. Maybe try picking up a new hobby that involves other people. Board games are great for that! Maybe Go or Shogi? Of course Yellow Submarine has plenty of stuff for folks who enjoy more modern games, and they even host games in the store.
Another option is reconsidering your position on bars. It seems to be where people go to connect with each other. You don’t have to even drink per se, just nurse a single beer and try to have a conversation with the folks there. I know there’s a language barrier but you kind of have to brute force your way through that sort of thing. Eventually you’ll get through it. Google Translate can help with more complex ideas, too.
There are Facebook groups too. Tokyo Expats Network was one my current partner used to visit a lot to find other English speakers who live in and around Tokyo. It eliminated the language barrier and she did make a couple good friends off there who had common interests.
I’ve been in your position. Two things, consider getting a cheap scooter, I had a Honda zoomer and it’s good fun just pootling around.
If you’re into tech and games, book offs in the arse end of nowhere are good for treasure hunting.
[removed]
Post on the expat facebook groups about activities, and usually people will sign up. I made a really good friend after responding to her post for hiking partners
>eating / travelling alone is a hell
Why?
Guy doesn’t want to be alone but doesn’t even have the ability to speak the language of the country he lives in
Japanese lessons?
Try getting enrolled in some free beginner Japanese classes. They you will have chances for interaction and to become more proficient in the language.
[removed]
[removed]
I don’t want to sound like a prick, but if language barrier is a problem then that’s probably the first thing to invest some time into? Maybe invest some extra time into that with focus on vocab useful to your hobbies, and then try to find some kind of gaming/tech enthusiast groups to join? Japanese nightlife is super interesting, maybe try some friendly izakayas or bars and just have oolong and pickles or something?
Fancy cafes with specialty coffee are always good too. I used to make a lot of friends in cafes, but it’s a bit like fishing… gotta put the phone away and just sit around waiting for a bite. Honestly, nobody wants to talk to some dude playing on his phone.
Gaming enthusiast? Join the Tokyo D&D meetup and discord groups.
During corona I got a gopro and a pocketwifi and did live streaming on my bike. Riding up and down the river was fun. Too bad you don’t eat/drink alone, I quite enjoy it. Podcasts are great too, makes you feel less lonely. Day trip to a hotspring is nice alone, go out far with a goal (get in the tub), then come back. Gardening, even if its just a tiny balcony for hanging clothes, you can put some pots out.
Look on the notice boards around your neighborhood, there’s normally a few events, may not be something that’d normally interest you but you may enjoy yourself and will definitely meet new People.
Come to live shows!
My band will have a big live show at Shinjuku Wildside July1st. (very heavy music though)
Live shows are a great way to meet international Japanese and foreigners.
And a lot of people that go to live shows don’t drink.
There are live shows every day in Tokyo.
Check out Ruby Room or Shibuya NOB maybe?
I’ve used the app called meetup and gone to many events through that. I find it really easy to make friends because the majority of people there are in your shoes.
Solo trips are great, what are you on about. See what you want, do what you want, meet randoms and make friends – all without expectations. Sounds good to me.
You can join local tour if you don’t want to travel alone.
bhai jan cricket Khelen ge ap? I can add you in a group?
i like going to random cafe/restaurant. also day trips with hiking/onsen. reading whenever i’m sitting down (eating or on transport). just walking around different neighborhoods
Minami-azabu eh? Tokyo American Club is nearby.
Have you tried the concept cafes コンカフェ in Akiba? Usually you can find one where you ‘click’ with the cast, the low key ones are on Junk Dori in the back streets (APA Hotel eki-mae) and also on the Akiba Culture Center side. There are con-cafes in many other areas like Shibuya/Ikebukuro/Nakano, it really depends on what kind of theme you like and if you click with the cast.
I have a few to recommend if you wanna try that out (you can even name drop me to break the ice) , they are _nothing_ like the saccharine experiences Maid Cafes on Chuo Dori. These are more chill and you just chat/chill with other customers as they warm up to you.
IZAKAYA TIME!
Bring your favourite translate app and 5k en
Edit: Don’t go to weird ones, just to the ones close to your place so you can meet people from close.
If you’re into Magic the Gathering (or think you might like to give it a go) there’s usually a bunch of foreigners at Hareruya in Takadanobaba on Thursday nights.
Niche interests that have some kind of IRL experiences are how I’ve met most of my network here
Try meetup, go bar hopping etc. There’s always some events going on and you can make new friends that way.
How about hiring the “Do Nothing Rent-a-Man”? His name is Morimoto Shoji and he lends himself to just doing nothing and chilling with his clients. I read that he charges around 10,000 yen (around $70) per booking, plus travel and food expenses.
I’m only half joking because I would try renting him out myself just for the experience if money was not a problem for me. Here is an article about him. You can probably find more information about him by searching his name too.
[https://www.businessinsider.com/japanese-man-shoji-morimoto-do-nothing-rent-a-man-chitchat-2022-1#:~:text=Shoji%20Morimoto%20works%20as%20a,chitchat%2C%20but%20that’s%20it.%22](https://www.businessinsider.com/japanese-man-shoji-morimoto-do-nothing-rent-a-man-chitchat-2022-1#:~:text=Shoji%20Morimoto%20works%20as%20a,chitchat%2C%20but%20that's%20it.%22)