Standing out vs Blending in

Which do you guys prefer to do?

If you prefer standing out, what do you do? How about if you want to blend in?

I don’t mind the surprised “Oo a foreigner” or the “Did that foreigner just speak Japanese?” glance sometimes but I also do everything that I can to not make myself obvious.

32 comments
  1. You have zero chance of “blending in” if you don’t look East Asian, so it’s not a question of choice. People who can pass for Japanese have a choice, but it’s entirely possible to just play both sides depending on the situation and your mood.

  2. I’m a redhead, so I don’t really waste energy trying to blend in.

  3. I know what you mean. I sometimes see foreign guys with beards down to their chests, tattoos covering their arms and legs, and some funky hairstyle and think to myself, *Do you* want *everyone staring at you*?

    I’m Caucasian so I stand out more than a typical Japanese or Asian-looking person here, but my hairstyle is fairly normal (albeit light brown in color), my beard is neatly trimmed, and I don’t wear particularly loud clothes. Sometimes I get still get some stares from old dudes, but most others just ignore me and go about their business. I couldn’t imagine purposefully dressing or acting in a way that would draw more unwanted attention to myself.

  4. Red-haired 190cm little old me ain’t never blending in here, lol. Must be nice to have that option.

  5. I don’t really go out of my way to stand out, but I also realize that I’m never going to blend in so I don’t try overly hard to do that either.

  6. I don’t really go out of my way to stand out, but I also realize that I’m never going to blend in so I don’t try overly hard to do that either.

  7. Even on my way to work in the morning as quiet as can be minding my own business, I still get looks and stares. You can blend in when you’re a gaijin. You certainly have the option to stand out more than usual though.

  8. I think once you live here long enough you just stop caring.

    The “If you are South East Asian you can pass for Japanese” argument doesn’t make much sense to me. I mean I am European and I can even tell the difference between Japanese / Korean / Chinese / Thai etc so I am pretty sure most Japanese people can tell when someone isn’t Japanese but from another South East Asian country….

    But anyways, just you do you and I’ll do me – if that is something very “foreign” or very “japanese” would come down to specific situations I think.

  9. Haha no such luxury of choice for most of us.

    The way I see it, I have the option of either looking like I just got off the plane or looking like someone who dresses so poorly that they must be local

  10. Usually I blend on train / any public transportation. Other than that didn’t really care much about it.

  11. Prefer not overthinking these things – I don’t understand why people are either paranoid or full gaijin smash, when you can be you know, just normal.

  12. Trying to blend in is a waste of time and energy. In fact, pretending not to speak Japanese proved to make many situations much easier and efficient.

  13. All Japanese I ever met could not tell I’m not a Japanese until I speak Japanese long enough for them to realize so 😂 I guess because I’m pretty influenced by Japanese fashion style but my Japanese is quite far from native level.
    Sometimes I like to be seen as foreigners. Sometimes it’s good to be assumed as Japanese. (I’m from SEA country)

  14. It’s either stand out or quietly stand out. There is no blend in for me. I’d rather quietly stand out.

  15. I’m a foreigner but I look Japanese (cuz i’m from Asia lol). I never really liked the idea of blending in so I prefer to stand out with the way I dress and my makeup. Japanese people would never know I’m a foreigner unless they speak to me cuz I understand very little japanese. Sometimes I feel like they just think I’m a dumbass :(((

  16. I’ve pretty much accepted, as a Panamanian, I’ll stand out. I’ll often be the darkest guy on the train. That being said, I am trying to dress like they do.

  17. Actively, nothing. I’ll always stand out, it’s not like I can hide the fact that I’m taller than everyone else and obviously not Japanese.

    I’ll take every comment towards my height and my being foreign with a smile and a nod and that’s it.

    I don’t try to blend in because it’s futile, and I don’t *try* to stand out because I do that enough just by looking like I do.

  18. I’m a black, bald, bearded powerlifter with tattoos. There is no blending in and I am more than ok with this. I’m mindful of the space around me and respectful of whatever situation I’m in. I haven’t run into any problems and I also don’t care enough to try to “blend in.”

  19. Once I went skiing in Gunma. With the cap and goggles and scarf I was like whoooo no one will know I’m a gringo. Looking forward the skiing, I got moving. Top of the lift the guy to one look at me and was like ハロー。so I asked him how he knew I was a gaijin and he said “your nose is big”. Nope no fitting in just deal as others said here

  20. I’m mixed black and white (now that it’s summer, I look more black due to my seasonal tan), ポチャリ as the Japanese would call it, and wear my hair in Afros with colorful headbands…

    Yeah, I always stand out and quite honestly, it doesn’t matter. I’m not Japanese nor do I pretend to be. I just ignore any glances I receive , or if an ojiichan or obachan stares too long, I stare back. Every time except once, they always look away.

  21. Well considering that I’m a white blonde girl who’s quite tall (170cm), there’s no way I’m gonna blend in.

    The way I dress has definitely become much more Japanese over the years though, if that’s what you mean by “blending in”

  22. Depends upon the situation (and, y’know, the very real limit that an overweight, tattood, bearded white dude can do).

    Cover the tattoos, wear a buttondown and slacks for government stuff? Absolutely; it has seemed to make things go more smoothly for me than my former coworker who refused to do so.

    Cover my tattoos and wear a suit? When it gets me some advantage.

    Otherwise, I just dress how I like. I do try my best not to be too loud (I have some hearing issues with background noise and was raised in the US so I’m at a disadvantage there). I don’t pull out the gaijin card/gaijin smash just because I can. I generally follow manners as best I can.

  23. In my country of birth, I would be (I am) a very boring person. Here I am a foreign boring person. But I meet all the criteria of a standard person here. Social status and activities, behavior, education, demeanor, way of living, occupation…. Sometimes acquaintances notice that I am a foreigner… However, my life could be completely different here.
    What a shock for me when I go on vacation or just sightseeing in another city. How you are sometimes looked at.

  24. Big cities you blend in for the most part. People usually don’t give a shit about you.
    However, Going to grandma Midori’s local Tonkatsu shop in the countryside. Different story. Hit or miss. Usually they’re really cool if they realize you can speak just a little bit Japanese.

    Had one really bad experience once but that was because the lady was just insane. Not because I was a foreigner tho. she threw the bill at a customer, refused to get tea for another lady because she had already had 2 cups. I don’t know if she had the worst day ever but it was mental. Was going to ask for a glass of water but after the tea incident I sat in silence. I was so scared to tick her off I didn’t even speak to my gf for the rest of that lovely meal.

  25. If you aren’t Asian, your chances of “blending in” as you say are 0. However, I have found over the years that the way I act and dress generally changes the way people interact with me. Note beforehand that there are a LOT of factors in determining how any interaction goes, and where you live is also a big factor. For context I’m white, have dirty blonde hair, and am on the shorter/petite side.

    I work in an office so I wear the same kinds of clothes the Japanese women in my office wear. I have arm tattoos to cover so I almost always wear a light cardigan or long sleeved shirt. To and from my commute to work I almost never have any “weird” interactions or notice anyone looking at me. I haven’t had anyone misunderstand or be weird about me speaking Japanese while in my work attire. I live in a major city so this could also influence that.

    Outside of work, I wear mostly Japanese fashion, but I don’t shy away from showing my tattoos and facial piercings. Even so I don’t really get any attention. A few times I’ve heard people mention my tattoos but never heard anything bad, just “cool” or “cute”. They’re all in the same color and I have a really strict “aesthetic” I adhere to so I can confidently say they are indeed cool and cute. While wearing Japanese fashion, I’ve never had someone question whether I can speak Japanese, at least in a way I could detect.

    HOWEVER, sometimes I wear my “American” clothes like stuff that’s more revealing or tight jeans, leggings, hoodies, etc. I notice more stares and have had people kind of awkwardly gesture and be afraid to speak to me. One time my neighbor who I usually chat with didn’t recognize me when I was walking back from the conbini in jeans and no makeup and said “I thought your family came to visit”.

    From these experiences it’s obvious that Japanese people, like anyone, can “read” if a person is assimilated into the culture enough to speak the language or not. Obviously I’m always a foreigner, but if I’m wearing Japanese fashion, do my makeup like Japanese women typically do, and don’t act like a tourist people can guess that I probably have lived here long enough to speak Japanese. Tl;dr in my experience the way you dress really makes a difference.

  26. 184, east asian face. Perfect impersonation always. They never suspect that I am a foreigner.

  27. Get really good at Japanese and start working at an office with people. They might sometimes forget you’re not Japanese, which is the closest you’ll likely get.

  28. I just stare back at people who look at me, sometimes I stare back for a minute or so, trust me they look away& keep back to themselves.
    Worst is the ojisans (I’m a girl), I literally grudge at them, they make sure to look right away.
    Got to let these uneducated people know that staring is bad… maybe their brains never caught up to it & a reminder is needed

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