Is dating more difficult after certain age？

31 comments

1. Yes but just be glad you’re a man

2. Mid 30s was the sweet spot for me, things got a lot harder once I hit my 40s. Out of reach for younger women, and the women around my age, well, I guess there’s a reason why they’re still single. Though that applies to me too.

3. It’s the same for men, if not more so.

   Plenty of smart, attractive, career-oriented women friends in their late 30s, but the pool of available guys is pretty dire, and all my guy friends who I would consider introducing them to are married or taken.

4. I’ve noticed when guys say this, what they really mean is “why can’t I pick up girls in their early 20s whilst I’m in my mid 30s??”

   Just go for people your own age

5. Dating apps are the worst

6. Not if you have a decent salary.

7. Naaaaaaah

   I let my wife when I was 35ish on a dating app.

8. Not if you’re rich and successful.

9. I went on tinder for about a year or two in 2018.

   I treated it like a chance to meet people to go out and do stuff with rather than looking for romance.

   The chat really is your friend in tinder, I met a few people that seemed nuts in chat, and we never actually met in person.

   As an older man on tinder the suspicion is that you are married (I’m not).

   The reason for this is that tinder is FULL of married older men trying to cheat on their wives, and A LOT of them will straight up lie when asked.

   I went on about 7-8 dates, and they were all nice people even if we didn’t click.

   3 of them I ended up actually dating. 2 didn’t work out, the last ones the love of my life.

10. It depends highly on your priorities and how realistic you are.

    If you’re holding out for a supermodel half your age, or a corporate CEO who will buy you Gucci every month, be prepared to be disappointed.

    If you’re looking for a partner who shares your interests, treats you well, and is happy to build a life together with you… assuming you’re not a weirdo yourself, there’s a lot of good people out there.

11. I’ve asked a lot of girls what their age settings on the apps are and for the women I date (20s to early 30s), 35 max age is very common. To the point that I quite frankly fear turning 36.

12. Everything is, really.

13. I’m on Bumble and it’s the worst.

    I’m in my early 30s, so my range is 26-38. Somehow I still end up talking to fuck boys.

    Honestly, I’m a bit of a frog and it’s so annoying to have to deal with the guys who swipe right on everyone because cooch is cooch.

14. My husband and I met when we were in our early thirties. I dated less in my thirties compared to my twenties, not because of less options, but because I became more discerning. If we have views that are incompatible regarding values, finances, religion, family, future children, etc, I’m not gonna waste my time with that person.

    I think people in their thirties are generally more discerning, or picky if you will. Because at this age, we know what we want and don’t want to waste our time and our date’s time by skipping around issues.

    So I’m assuming this pickiness gets even more fine tuned the older you get.

    In my case, I was looking for a man older than me. Because my parents and my aunts and uncles have 5-10 year age gaps. Would have been fine dating a guy in his 40’s. But the universe has its own way. Ended up marrying my husband who is a few months younger than me haha.

15. the market is different. You can be hot shot in Asian dating scene just by being foreign looking male in 20s, lots of asian younger ladies and cougars still go for you no matter what. By 30s, you are automatically into marriage market for ladies, you have to look young, up-to-date, funny smart honest and financially successful to stay in their game

16. Absolutely yes, but I think it has to do with a shrinking social life. It’s easier to date when in school because you’re forced to spend time with a lot of people your age who are likely to have similar interests.
    When you’re in your 30s (if you’re like me) you go to work and go home and that’s about it. Hard to meet new people that way

17. The biological imperative differences that tend to drive male and female pairing strategies aside.

    I was listening to a comic recently and she had two very funny but too true lines that I’ve seen play out for my single friends.

    As she put it dating in your 30s is basically waiting for all the good people who got in bad relationships to figure it out and get divorced. You’re basically in a holding pattern of settling until the good mates become available again

    The other one was a description of online dating differences for men and women which I forget the exact analogy but basically because men are incentivized to try to contact as many women as possible women are buried under a flood of responses on dating apps trying to find someone good. Men have the opposite effect in that there are a lot of women who interest them but none that are interested in them.

18. If you want to get married, it’s probably easier.
    If you want a hookup, it’s harder unless you are willing to date people 10 years younger than yourself.

19. Yeah it gets harder for men if they don’t have a good career by mid-30s.

    For women it just gets harder at 32-33 (not as young as 30 like some other user said.)

    Anyway, the key point is that it just gets *harder*, **not** *impossible*.

20. I cannot imagine even trying. I’m married and if that changed I don’t think I’d even try.

21. There are two reasons for dating being harder after a certain age: You look that age (or older), or you have your age visible on your dating profile.

    Everything else is simply an appearance and/or personality issue, not age.

22. Wife and I got married at 33. Her two friends, all the way back from junior high school, decided to go through omiai services to meet their husbands. I like both of her friends. We even tried to hook them up with some of my buddies.

    I believe both of them paid 100,000-200,000 yen to the match making service. Men pay double or triple. It’s definitely a thing. And, OPs post kind of touches upon it.

    Before I met my wife, I went to a few speed dating events and tons of gokkon parties (group blind dates?). Those are more for the late twenties to early thirties crowd IMO. I think after that, if the women are hoping to have a child, they’ll go to a match maker.

    I got a question. Are the deai bars still a thing? Women eat and drink for free and men pay in 10-15 minute intervals to be seated with ladies. I remember when the first one opened up in town. My buddies and I went a few times. That was a weird and wonderful experience.

23. “Matching girls”

    How old ?

24. Friendships, in general, are harder to start the older you get.

25. Define “good women”. Being good looking and young is good women to you? From my experience, there are plenty of single Japanese women in their 30’s or more with little dating experience, or who are divorced. There are still good chances to date if you’re not picky.

26. Do you mean just getting a date or getting into a relationship?

    I feel like I put up with a lot of bad behaviour in my 20s because I was more afraid of being single. I would tolerate or play down very clear signs this person wasn’t relationship material. Turning 30 I got a bit more self respect and am more picky about who I spend my time with…so that already cuts out a chunk of the market.

    All my female friends in their 30s are single right now but they just seem disinterested and not actively searching.

27. I experienced zero issues in Japan at my age compared to dating in other countries.

    My SO is 19 years my junior, but I didn’t have issues with finding worthwhile companions aged 21-42.

    But from what I gathered in can be brutal for women 40+.

28. I think age is only a number and different woman are attracted to different things. If you are handsome, confident, in shape, and successful at what ever it is you do, woman will be attracted to that.

    The key detail is to feel good in your skin, don’t judge most good woman being taken either as a lot of shitty woman are also taken.

    I’m mid 30s as well and if I wasn’t married the way I’d do it is in the wild – way more interesting than a dating app and you get the realest versions of people. If you lack confidence doing this go practice. Also younger woman might be more of a headache – have you been with an older woman?

29. I don’t know how it is for men, but as a woman in my early 30s, I’m less tolerant of what I will allow from a partner.

    Poor communication, doubtful hygiene, and lack of ambition are really offputting for me, and you will be surprised how many men are like, “Let’s go with the flow” or “I don’t know what I want right now”. My Brother in Christ, you are 36.

    I feel that many men want to avoid settling or constantly looking for the better person to come up with. This might be my impression and might be caused by the modern way of dating.

30. Get away from dating apps and go meet IRL. Some of the best girls I’ve dated were from hiking trips or friend’s home parties and so on. Protip: Don’t be ‘hunting’; aim to make friends (a lot of them) and you’ll eventually end with someone interested. A lot of these awesome girls are not on dating apps/social media to begin with.

    If you practice basic fitness, hygiene and dress even moderately well, you will be significantly ahead of the ones who don’t. Having a stable job with decent income helps for the long term too. Good luck out there homie, you got this 🙂

31. You are talking as foreigner dating in Japan right?

    Definitely.

    Age gaps are quite frowned upon nowadays. My parents have 10 years gap and it was very normal during their era.

    above mid 30 you are seen as kimo ojisan by girls in their 20s.

    so available women to date maybe those divorcees. and again it might be hard since they have bad experience with men.

    As you are older you need to compensate with financial stability if you dont have ikemen look.

    Anyway myself I think I might have more chances back in homecountry.