I gotta say overall my life is not so bad here in Japan. I have a somewhat-stable job with nice coworkers that pays okay enough to afford a just okay life and a apartment away from the city.
But career and future planning stuff is not looking so great. I’m in cybersecurity even though I never seriously studied for it because the company that brought me to japan, where I shortly worked as a software developer, went bankrupt and this company picked me up just looking for staff asap.
I feel bad about myself because everyone around me looks pretty invested in what they do and leave the company for other companies for better pays, while I’m here stuck up in the same place not knowing what to do. And if my company ever decides to stop contracting me, I’m left with no skills to succeed as I haven’t figure it out yet.
The few things I’m passionate about or skilled at either pay horrible or are stressful as fuck (illustration, people skills for sales job, etc). But I still study stuff I’m not that passionate about like coding to have some kind of safety net in case something bad happens.
How about you? How’s your situation looking like? And how are you trying to get out of it?
33 comments
Your value as a person does not come from your job. It does not come from how much money you earn, how famous your employer is, the neighborhood you live in, the size of your home, or how much money you take home every month. Your value as a person does not come from the type of work you do, your hobbies or interests, or the skills your hold (or lack thereof).
I understand how you feel because at one point I had the same experience. But to put all of your energy into advancing your career is the same as putting all of your energy into building a sand castle. Eventually the waves will come crashing in and that sand castle will fall down. Everything we do in this life is temporary; it all fades away when we leave this world. Your job is just there to put food on your table and a roof over your head, nothing more. You come into this world naked and with nothing, and you will leave this world naked and with nothing.
I went through a period where I suffered a lot of anxiety and I struggled to prove my worth. I saw some of my friends and coworkers moving on to huge companies making 6 figure salaries and I was jealous, I wanted what they had. Eventually I accepted that my value doesn’t come from my job, despite what the culture says. My value comes from the fact that I am made in the image of God, and I don’t need to stress over things like work because ultimately God will provide for me. That’s actually the source of my Reddit username. Just as He fed the multitude and provided for their needs, and just as He provided mana for the children of Israel, He will provide for me. If I stay in the same job forever, or if I lose this one and find something else, or if I get hired on elsewhere, ultimately it doesn’t matter.
There are more important things to worry about in this life than my job. Was I a good father to my children? Was I a good husband to my wife? What did I do for the advancement of God’s kingdom? Was I saved? These are all questions that I’m going to have to answer when I stand before God on judgement day. Would I be able to provide a good answer to these questions if I spent all of my time worrying about my career?
I am going through my 30.347532% life crisis, as we speak.
Life is happiest when you stop comparing your life to others. For me, I am also in a good situation and very grateful for it. There are a few days where I feel my work is unfulfilling or that I could make more money, but the overall balance with all areas I have is bliss for me.
Quarter life only depends on when you decide you’re going to die
Too busy having fun and enjoying life to have a crisis. Maybe I’ll realize I’m old one day when my back hurts enough. Until then, I’ll be spending time with my wife, cycling, hiking and playing with my kids. Also, my job is garbage. They key is multiple income streams, no matter how small. That way you won’t feel trapped
What’s a quarter life crisis? Mid twenties?
Just make sure you wear a condom and don’t marry crazy.
Maybe you’re not moving onto other companies like your coworkers because you’re actually comfortable there? You’re still figuring things out, and right now you’re in a position to wonder. I think that’s a lucky position to be in. You’re also able to self study to stay employable despite not being interested in it, which is a responsible thing to do.
I think you’re handling things just fine.
As for myself, I’ve had to increase my antidepressants while I’m stuck at an abusive company and I’m trying to brush up my skills before I job hunt but it’s not going well cause I’m always tired.
I also just got an opportunity to live in a house for no rent, and while it’ll probably be better for my mental health and I can work remote, it’s in another prefecture and I’m scared to leave my friends and everything I know.
While these struggles suck, I assume this is what makes life interesting. I hope you figure things out soon!
After years of resisting I finally broke down and started wearing a hat when I’m outside, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
work is stable and pays well, have enough friends to hangout with, but i kinda lost… motivation to pursue my hobbies. its hard to explain but i feel empty -_-
> I feel bad about myself because everyone around me looks pretty invested in what they do and leave the company for other companies for better pays, while I’m here stuck up in the same place not knowing what to do.
– You exchange your time for money.
– Money can be used either to buy more time (retire earlier), or exchange for experiences.
If you have adequate money to retire when you want and have the experiences you desire, then you have the appropriate job so long as it is sustainable.
Not everyone is an ambitious job hopper, many people just do it because they are bored or an equivalent job arises with more pay. But there is no issue with staying put too, if it is comfortable.
It is good to think about what you want, touch base with your life satisfaction, and make adjustments. But do NOT look at other people to gauge where you are. Look internally.
I think you’re doing fine. Most people don’t give a rat’s ass about whatever their job is. I doubt many of the countless sales people in Japan are passionate about sales.
Unfortunately, most of the things people are passionate about, including yours, don’t pay well, except to the very lucky few at the very top.
Dunno if mid-thirties qualifies as quarter-life, but I quit my job moved out to the mountains and feeling much better in general. Highly recommend. Money will likely be an issue after a year or so but I’ll figure something out.
For some people a job is just a way to pay for life.
I hit my quarter life crisis around 5 years ago when I turned 28-29, and then once I hit 30 I realized that really, age is nothing but a number and I don’t need to be on the Forbes 30 Under 30 to amount to anything in life.
I quit being an engineer and finally decided to do what I wanted to do, instead of doing it for the money. Now I am broke af but I’m enjoying what I do — so its a trade off.
I enjoy MAG, manga anime and games. And when I feel anxious, I just pick up something to learn. Right now I’m learning game dev and an instrument.
Damn fucking brag some more!! You sound like you have it just terrible..
Pretty miserable to be honest. Want to start for a family but still trying to sort shit out so we can afford it. The misses doesn’t know what she wants to do job wise which makes it tricky trying to get two years so maternity leave is covered. I hate my job and doubting what I’m working towards will be any better. Still got to look on the positives meeting up with a friend tonight I haven’t seen in ten years and I’m not dead yet.
At least your job pays well. Most people feel unfulfilled AND have shitty pay.
As long as your work ain’t trying to kill you, I think it’s fine.
If I’m at a quarter life crisis at age 55 – then I’m pretty happy about it I guess
10 year+ ALT here, pay is shit but job is easy and fun (sometimes). I feel my work life balance is pretty good, have 3 kids and a nice house out in the inaka. Financially no problem at all since wife works but yeah would like to try something new job wise.
Ask yourself why you put so much value on your job.
Jobs are a means to an end for most people. If you were a doctor working on a cure for cancer, or an engineer designing a Mars mission, I can understand. But for 90% of people, job is what you do to pay the bills and fund the things you actually want to do in life.
Coming to Japan was basically me getting out of my quarter life “crisis”. That’s not exactly true, because I’ve had the thought for a long time. It’s just that a stagnating career made me look harder at the opportunities here and I found one. Never been happier even though the future May not be so clear.
This clearly sounds like a humble bragging post. This does not sound like a quarter life crisis at all. Poor choice of words man.
Not too bad, just started freelancing and it started off pretty well.
Summer is not so busy overall around the world so things are quiet, so I’m navigating how to deal with the uncertainty of not having income for a few months.
Still, taking things slowly and I anticipate next year to a bit busier overall for me.
Lol I’m sort of in a quarter life crisis and I’m studying to be like you: cyber security in Japan.
Objectively life is good but god I need more shit to do in my free time to make it not all feel pointless
To put it in perspective, here is my situation:
> I have a ~~stable~~ job with ~~awesome~~ coworkers that pays ~~well enough to afford everything I want without any issues~~ and a ~~nice~~ apartment ~~by the beach where I spend good time every weekend~~.
> ~~But~~ career and future planning stuff is not looking so great
I had a bit of a quarter life crisis at age 25, went deep into Stoicism for several months, found some new passions and things to strive for.
I’m now super invested in my work and side hustles, very optimistic about the future, life is on an uphill trajectory, attempting to rise up the ranks in my company as soon as possible, and basically life is awesome.
wtf is a quarter life crisis?
I think I’ve been in a constant midlife crisis since 14yo.
Just YOLO it. Have fun piloting your meat suit on this planet for a while, none of us will be here that long.
Just spent all my savings from this year on a new (to me) motorcycle and I’m not even 30. Probably the best purchase I’ve made in the last three years at least.
My adivice is make a big, financially inadvisable purchase that enables some kind of new experience: boat, bike, jetski… 2000Pts of Warhammer 40k imperial guard?
Mine is more like I have a quarter of my life left!
I think it is a very real trap to get stuck in Japan for decades with nothing to show for it. Japan is so clean, safe and easy to live, it’s easy to just kind of stay here indefinitely but not really make any progress in your life. I definitely have that problem and want to leave and move back to my home country. But places like Europe and the US are becoming real basketcases, because of all the shitty leadership that is running them into the ground. It’s embarrassing. The West seems intent on self inflicted ruin. So, what to do? Where to go?
I can’t really see the point of staying in Japan. Nothing ever seems to really change here. But it is safe and stable. So the choice is safety and stability, but stagnation, ultimately, or risk and danger overseas but with possibly interesting outcomes. I mean you will do well or badly there, but at least you won’t be bored.
Isn’t cyber security a hot profession nowadays though? Surely there’s some lateral move you can make that’ll improve things for you.
I disagree with other peoples sentiment that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, because sometimes they’re just a reminder of what you’ve wanted all along.
The way you break out is to keep moving. You don’t have to move to the perfect thing, just as long as you keep pushing bit by bit to something better, eventually you’ll find yourself somewhere you like.