I have a UK drivers license which can be exchanged here without needing to take a test because it’s basically the same road system. My wife’s parents seem like they don’t want me to drive and talk as if I need to have some lessons here. Like they are just putting me down as soon as I start talking about driving. It’s annoying me and I feel that this is complete ignorance on their side. Am I wrong for feeling angry?
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That’s unfortunate. Have they seen videos of what it’s like to drive in the UK (since it’s quite similar)?
Nearly everyone who grows up here has lessons before getting their license. It may not register in their minds that you’re already past that point.
I’d be upset too, probably.. but would just get the license and ignore them.
Have you told them that the UK also is a left-hand traffic country?
That might reassure them a bit.
Not sure where you’re from in the UK but the roads here are tight, bicyclists are suicidal, and roads that should really be one way but aren’t . Take it as they are worried something may happen and are urging not overestimating your ability on the local roads. Obviously the highway and major roads won’t be a problem if you’ve driven for years.
I drove for decades in the US and still struggle to not break my left side mirror. My in-laws didn’t feel comfortable riding in the car until I had driven in Japan for 6 months, even though I drove them all over the east coast in the US when they came to visit.
I don’t have enough context to tell you if they are jerks or just being worried parents but don’t let ego drive your response. I tell my daughter to be careful about lots of stuff, not because I don’t trust her or love her but because I worry something bad could happen and don’t want her to have to go through that. I know I annoy the piss outta her but if you ever have a kid of your own you’ll realize it is hard to not be overprotective.
Meh, it’s not their decision is it.
Do you have a Japanese license? If you do, then you can simply tell them that you passed their test and are officially certified to drive here.
If not, then their point is valid, since a lot of rules and manners differs. The most important part of driving is not about being able to drive straight and make turns, but it’s about not being an asshole in traffic and knowing what all the signs mean.
You know, many Japanese are just stuck in their software. Japan is different, Japan is better, it’s harder in Japan to pass a test…
Once I had a teacher here saying to the class “Here because of covid , we had a LOCKDOWN! It’s was DIFFICULT you know?”, because he couldn’t think other countries may have done the same, or people could have experienced harder times because, you know, Japanese are the most “頑張る and 大変” in the world.
So, they just basically dismiss foreign experience because it’s not relevant in Japan for them.
Weren’t you the one making a big to do about raising kids in this country?
I think you’re just really insecure.
And bud, that’s fine. I’M really insecure.
With respect: Fuck your in-laws opinions on something as mundane as driving. Of course they sound completely stupid. Practice civility and tact regardless, and be confident in yourself and what you’re capable of.
This is a parental thing. Older u get the more u have to comment and make suggestions that sound like complaints to the person hearing it.
Ignore and drive them around to some vacation spot.
However just remember some of the confusing traffic lights and the odd positioning they maybe in.
It took 5+ years of me working for myself and making 3x+ my old salary at a Japanese company for my Japanese in-laws to accept that I do actually have a real job.
When you spend your entire life in a very insular culture, it takes time to see anything outside of that. Don’t be offended but rather learn to laugh it off and be grateful that you, yourself, can see beyond that.
They may not even realise the UK drives on the same side of the road! People are always surprised when I tell them I’m used to driving on the left.
>It’s annoying me and I feel that this is complete ignorance on their side.
It is complete ignorance.
>Am I wrong for feeling angry?
Feeling, no, but it would be a waste of your time and detrimental to your life here to *act* on that anger.
>talk as if I need to have some lessons here.
There are at least two reasons for this:
First, they had to take lessons: I don’t know what the situation is in the UK, but in Japan locals consider driving school mandatory, both to earn a driver’s license and as a right of passage. If you’ve never been to *Japanese* driving school, you are not only a danger to yourself and others, but not an adult either.
Second, the police and the media blame literally everything that goes bad in the country on foreigners: they have been told traffic accidents are on the rise because of an influx of foreign drivers by television, newspapers, and the officers at the driver’s license center every time they go in for a renewal. It is presumed, as a foreigner, that you are genetically dispositioned either to crime or incompetence.
That said, there’s really nothing you can do to change this attitude. It permeates all aspects of life here to a degree, not only driving. Any attempt to call people out for their racist, ignorant, disregard for reality will only reinforce their belief that foreign people are inherently disharmonious dangers to their society.
What you must do is politely tell them you do have experience driving on the left side of the road, and that you know Japanese roads can be more narrow, and that you will be extra careful. Repeat as needed.
I don’t think it has anything to do with driving. Inlaws just have to find something to nitpick.
Regardless, it might be a good opportunity to brush up on the rules — and notice any significant differences — by reading [the Japan Automobile Federation’s English-language “Rules of the Road” book](https://english.jaf.or.jp/driving-in-japan/rules-of-the-road). I found it useful and I learned a few practices I didn’t know of before.
My MIL did this to me and sometimes still does this to me despite driving in Japan for 2 decades plus.
I did take Japanese driving school (and trailer, motorcycle and boat captain schools). They seemed much more thorough than American education for the same.
Yes – traffic laws, road manners, speed limits and road sign are all different. Dont be a dick take a couple of lessons, please. Just one or two is enough. Nobody likes a now it all, speaking from a been there done that several times over. It has nothing to do with your driving ability btw, i am sure you are very capable.
Your in laws maybe be assholes but If it’s your first time driving in Japan, it’s not a bad idea to take a few lessons to familiarize yourself with what to pay attention to here. Look at the countless posts in this sub about people getting royally screwed on the road.
On a tangent, I’m always super grateful for my mother in law when I read about all the asshole in laws you lot have. She’s not internationally minded at all but she’s always been welcoming, encouraging and supported me in my decisions. I can’t fathom having to try to please someone who’s already decided they hate me.
I got my license converted from Italy, no issues at all. Japan is VERY easy to drive in. Everyone respects the rules.
Point out to them that the UK has about half the road fatalities per KM driven as Japan https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_traffic-related_death_rate
I think they are just worried about the fact that you will be going out on the road with a full license without schooling or practice because those things are required to get licensed normally. They would be equally worried about themselves if they were to drive in the UK without getting some practice in first. It might be annoying but I don’t think it’s a reason for you to be angry because it seems they aren’t looking on down on you but just legitimately concerned for your safety
Are you talking about driving their car?
If that is the case then despite being annoying, they have the right to request that.
Drivers here behave differently than they do in other countries. So it takes a little getting used to. (Idk about UK, I’ve only driven in the US, Canada, and Australia)
Crazy post. I’m in a driving school right now and also took lessons/theory test in the UK some years ago. There are enough differences in the rules and conventions, and obviously the language on many signs and markings, that yes, anyone who truly cares about being a safe driver here should first take lessons, or do some study, etc. Probably even just watching some YouTube videos or reading through the rules of the road book would be sufficient.
The point isn’t to learn ‘how to drive’, you clearly already know that. The point is to learn how act normally on the roads here (and to know when people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing). At least in your case you seem to know Japanese well enough, so adapting shouldn’t be that hard.
My Japanese father in law is the worst backseat driver. Drives me nuts haha.
If we are turning left in 25 km, he will ask me why I am not in the left lane, because he hates it when I change lanes. He’d rather follow a super slow kei car for hours then pass someone
Have you ever driven in a foreign country before?
While Japan has a lot of similarities to the UK, you should spend some time driving at least with your wife or other native driver, as there are some differences.
Most of the differences aren’t so much in the rules, but more to do with idiosyncrasies that differ between the countries.
For example:
* For whatever reason you will commonly find people overtaking on blind corners
* Quite often in the countryside, you will find old people have the vehicle parked on said blind corner, foraging
* The car/vehicle is always at fault vs cyclists and pedestrians, be paranoid
* so when the old lady is walking on the road vs the clean and empty pavement, anything happens it is all your fault
* 80-90 year old grandpa wobbling on his bicycle and anything happens, it all your fault
* There are none to very few cameras at traffic lights, the first few seconds of red are fair game for a lot of drivers
* Pedestrian crossings without traffic lights in reality are suggestions rather than guarantees of the vehicle stopping, so be aware that the car in front of you may or may not suddenly stop for it
* The few roundabouts you find in this country, my famous example, is the one in Asahikawa, tend to be death traps:
* multiple lanes with no lines
* traffic lights preventing you from exiting some routes on said roundabount with no dedicated waiting places (you wait on the roundabout…)
* some entrances/exits have no traffic lights, so people just pile in…
* etc
* and so forth
Anyway, is this the hill die on, or offer a compromise, to show you value their concern and build a relationship with the in-laws.
Just comment on their mistakes while driving and make sure to rub it in that they paid for schooling. They will love you more.
I got my license in the UK years ago, drove rentals after passing but never owned a car. Came here and converted my license without any issues.
I took it easy the first few times renting here since I hadn’t driven for a while and was still inexperienced. Since I’d had a good teacher back in the UK I think the standard of car control I had was fine, rather it was the customs and new signs that are different/difficult. There doesn’t seem to be any problem with undertaking on the motorway for instance which I found uncomfortable. The large crossroads with green for both pedestrians and turning lane are also not common/a thing? in the UK so take care there, and make sure to stop at all the train track crossings.
Just brush up on the signs and take it easy to begin with and constant head on swivel as if everyone is trying to hit you and you’ll be fine.
Welcome to Japan. They will do this about everything. One of the management in my company found out I build my own PCs for personal use. (Gaming PCs) and I got a lecture about how I could burn the building down and that I should leave it up to professionals. I have A+ Certification.
The In-Laws were over and saw my retro gaming consoles that I have hooked up all recapped and modded for RGB. Again I got the lecture because my Father-In-Law thinks since they are old they will burn the house down.
You will never win. You will never exceed anyone here in skill here. It drives me crazy, but it is what it is. Just ignore them and do your thing.
From my experience, drivers here are considerably worse than the UK.
So many unchecked bad habits on the road. Constant smart-phone use, watching tv while driving, tailgating, etc. It’s not hell on earth, but be careful.
Don’t worry you’ll get used to it really quick, I’ll teach you how to impress your in-laws:
* Speed limit is only a suggestion here
* People overtake from wherever they please.
* Stop lines? Yeah I don’t know about that either, it’s not written Stop, it’s Tomare, surely it doesn’t mean the same thing.
* Seatbelts are for losers unless you’re on the highway.
* Make sure you don’t miss out on the latest TV show and tune in while you drive.
I got my driving license in Slough and even there I don’t think drivers were that bad, so you have the right to be annoyed yeah, but don’t worry too much about it, really.
These are the things that are either a little different to the UK, or I wish I’d known before I started driving here, or just general tidbits to help.
1. Don’t cross solid orange lines. They’re like double white lines in the UK.
2. The majority of Japanese junctions that aren’t controlled by traffic lights require you to fully stop. They’ll have a 止まれ / とまれ sign (the upside down red triangle with white text). Sometimes the police hide and try to catch people who don’t come to a complete stop at these.
3. What would be prohibition signs for us (no left turn, no right turn) are a sign that shows you what you can do (blue background, with the different directions you *can* go).
4. Cyclists will often ride on the pavement, but pay attention to obstacles in their path since they’ll join the road without so much as looking.
5. At blind junctions or exits to car parks where you can’t see, etc. be really careful because cyclists will continue to zip through.
6. Moped riders will undertake you in slow-moving traffic. I once saw a guy undertake a car that was turning into Mos Burger and collide with it. The car had been indicating.
7. Some signs are conditional based on type of vehicle or time of day. These will have a small rectangular sign underneath explaining it (e.g. a picture of a truck, times of day, etc.)
8. There are two types of traffic lights re right-turn lanes. If the light has two full rows, it will light up with left/straight arrows but continue to have a red light at the top. In this case, you must wait behind the line for your turn lane light to illuminate green. If it’s just one line along the top and then a single light for turning right, (i.e. the top row is what illuminates green), then you can advance forwards to the turning diamond, and wait until there is an opportunity to turn. The light will then turn red and illuminate only your turn lane for a while to let cars turning across go.
9. People say thanks by flashing their hazard lights twice.
10. Most people don’t understand that flashing your lights means “after you”, though I have seen Japanese people do it from time to time. If driving at night, switching to side lights seems to be a better way to go.
11. You’re not really meant to cross the white line at the side of the road unless there is a pavement, but in practice most people do if the situation requires it (e.g. narrow road, oncoming traffic).
All in all, just pay attention to everything that’s going on around you (pedestrians walking along the side of the road, people biking, people flying through crossings on bicycles without a care in the world, etc.) and it’s not much different to driving in the UK.
I guess you have no choice but to start a YT channel Japan’s Gaijin Worst Drivers and document your reckless antics.
That’s just your parents. I also exchanged my liscence (from an opposite side road) country and my parents just know and trust my driving skills.
Honestly, from a European perspective, I think Japanese drivers are below average at best, especially on highways. Nobody indicates lane changes, nobody sticks to the left lane, they overtake on both sides all the time… I am used to Austrian and German traffic and was shocked the first time I was on a Japanese highway. My Japanese boss who used to live in Germany for a long time also shares this sentiment.
OMG the way they want you to drive is the most insane ever. It feels so unnatural. I got scolded a bunch and didn’t understand and cried but honestly just drive like a sane person and don’t listen to all the crazy rules (drive on the line, pump breaks three times, etc).
You should probably just tell them the truth, which is that Japanese roads are actually simpler than European roads, and there are good reasons why we are allowed to drive with our European licenses in Japan.
There are also good reasons for why Americans can’t drive with their licenses here.
The system is well made.
I had my licence converted without incident and I would say if you’re used to UK roads driving here is not at all difficult. I have an astigmatism which isn’t corrected by my glasses so driving in the city is a bit hectic at night, the various hazards signs etc can get annoying, but it is generally a lot less aggressive.
I would ignore your wife’s parents, It sounds like the not uncommon Japanese passive aggression on their part.
You can get the licence done in a morning, just ensure all your proof of residency and visa line up, showing you have 12months available as your first licence (classed as a nee driver) will only be for a year. I think it costs 6000 yen and you need to send a translated copy of your licence to the local road bureau beforehand. Which has a separate fee.
There is also a certain segment of the population who will treat you like a toddler or retarded just because of limited communication skills in their language.
Had a similar experience with my wife’s family. Been driving close to 30 years. Got both an EU and Japanese license and a Japanese motorcycle license I got here in Japan. Whenever we drive, it’s always me behind the wheel and never my wife since her driving is a bit ‘scary’ and she prefers my confident but safe and comfortable driving style. Last year, we spent a few weeks up in her hometown in Aomori; during winter with tons of snow and ice. Whenever we wanted to go somewhere using her parents old Toyota it was like ‘no no no, you’re not used to winter here and snow is different here in Aomori than in your home country.’ It didn’t matter that I had lots of experience driving in snow, ice, and blizzards in Europe, the US, and Japan (up in Nagano and Shiga) even using snow-chains. Instead it was OK for my wife to drive because after all she’s from Aomori. It was utterly ridiculous. I just let it go and sat in the back while my wife or her mom were driving all the time (quite horrendously I might add; her mom almost even had an accident). Always reminds me of when I first started surfing waves down in Chiba many years back and needed to get my first surfboard. My local instructor wanted to make sure I buy a Japan-made surfboard because foreign surfboards were no good here since Japanese waves were different than overseas waves. Stuff like that, I just shrug it off.
Doesn’t matter if it’s about driving or not, you need to nip that behavior in the bud or they’re going to think they have a say in decisions that doesn’t concern them.
Basically, to fit in here follow these steps:
– Always drive 20kph under the speed limit.
– Accelerate as slowly as you can.
– Never use your rear view mirror. If it’s behind you it’s old news.
– Make frequent right turns at busy intersections blocking all traffic behind you.
– When the light turns blue, take your time to finish looking at whatever you’re looking at on your phone and then slowly proceed.
– When making a left turn, sit at the crosswalk until the light turns yellow and then slowly proceed.
– Always move to the right to make a lefthand turn.
– You can park anywhere. The closer you are to an intersection the better.
– If anyone is trying to pull out into the road, always stop and let them go.
– Always use your high beams.
– Never pass a bicycle or moped.
You seem a bit… arrogant about this. I drove for 25 years at home and still took a few lessons to brush up on local laws here when I converted my license.
Nagging is a love language for a lot of parents so being able to ignore/laugh off what your inlaws say is a good survival skill to have. If you’re not driving their car, why does it matter what they say? I would say take “lessons” from your wife or another experienced driver, rather than a driving school, because you really need to learn the idiosyncrasies of how people drive here more than the rules, which are pretty easy to pick up.