25M So I’m finishing up my undergrad and was leaning toward Aeon or JET to try my chances of getting out of the US. I’m aware of the tight income you get, but I do have an additional income I receive that is roughly 300k ¥ a month regardless I’m a US citizen or not. I hear a lot of mixed reviews about teaching whether it be through ALT or eikaiwa although I’m trying to bare it with a grain of salt.
I currently have a $3k USD monthly rent and about a $700 car payment w insurance that primarily eats up most of my work income. I believe we live fine otherwise. I’m a solo income though, and I work roughly 52 hours a week monday through friday along with weekends sometimes. I work in county administration so its a heck ton of desk work.. So I feel I might adjust a ok regardless of the work conditions? I enjoy working and mastering anything I’ve been put into. You can consider it that typical man mentality of supporting his family and lives to work lol, but I’ve never had a problem with it. Keeps me busy
My girl doesn’t really enjoy this place either. Nothing is pedestrian friendly here, and she doesn’t drive. There’s excessive crime here so we’re both in fear of our daughter and the US just isn’t having the best time not having people get shot. There’s several other aspects that are really concerning for myself and the baby, but due to how touchy those topics are, I’m not going to mention them.
I’ve been wanting to skip out and try somewhere else new as well. My native friends in Japan encouraged this idea from around 5 years ago. Living in Oregon, CA, Missouri, Texas, Idaho, and Virginia hasn’t done me any favors. I didn’t travel around as a child either.
So, both of us have decided to leave, and my girl wants to stay a stay at home mother, which I’m completely fine with since she hasn’t really been working since we’ve been together anyway. I want to take a few weeks over the next couple of years to visit to get better in tuned to public transport and how the community is.. But how do I go about moving all three of us out there should I continue this route? Do some companies make you live in an apt or is it optional should you be able to purchase property? Or maybe even look into foreign friendly dwelling? What specific visa would they need? What companies would you recommend me to look into if not the ones I’d already mentioned?
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This is a copy of your post for archive/search purposes.
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**I’ve really wanted to teach, but now I have a Spouse and newborn.. How would I go about this? Hear my story!**
25M So I’m finishing up my undergrad and was leaning toward Aeon or JET to try my chances of getting out of the US. I’m aware of the tight income you get, but I do have an additional income I receive that is roughly 300k ¥ a month regardless I’m a US citizen or not. I hear a lot of mixed reviews about teaching whether it be through ALT or eikaiwa although I’m trying to bare it with a grain of salt.
I currently have a $3k USD monthly rent and about a $700 car payment w insurance that primarily eats up most of my work income. I believe we live fine otherwise. I’m a solo income though, and I work roughly 52 hours a week monday through friday along with weekends sometimes. I work in county administration so its a heck ton of desk work.. So I feel I might adjust a ok regardless of the work conditions? I enjoy working and mastering anything I’ve been put into. You can consider it that typical man mentality of supporting his family and lives to work lol, but I’ve never had a problem with it. Keeps me busy
My girl doesn’t really enjoy this place either. Nothing is pedestrian friendly here, and she doesn’t drive. There’s excessive crime here so we’re both in fear of our daughter and the US just isn’t having the best time not having people get shot. There’s several other aspects that are really concerning for myself and the baby, but due to how touchy those topics are, I’m not going to mention them.
I’ve been wanting to skip out and try somewhere else new as well. My native friends in Japan encouraged this idea from around 5 years ago. Living in Oregon, CA, Missouri, Texas, Idaho, and Virginia hasn’t done me any favors. I didn’t travel around as a child either.
So, both of us have decided to leave, and my girl wants to stay a stay at home mother, which I’m completely fine with since she hasn’t really been working since we’ve been together anyway. I want to take a few weeks over the next couple of years to visit to get better in tuned to public transport and how the community is.. But how do I go about moving all three of us out there should I continue this route? Do some companies make you live in an apt or is it optional should you be able to purchase property? Or maybe even look into foreign friendly dwelling? What specific visa would they need? What companies would you recommend me to look into if not the ones I’d already mentioned?
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I would honestly consider this very carefully. You currently have a stable but boring job in government plus an extra $3k/mo stipend from somewhere. You have a stable life and a young family. That may be very hard to replicate elsewhere.
Unless your spouse is Japanese moving to Japan with an infant as a stay at home mom is going to be crazy isolating. Also if she is your girlfriend and not your wife you won’t be able to get a visa for her. Even if you are married it will be very tough finding any eikaiwa job that will be willing to handle her paperwork and anything else related to your child.
You would be trading a stable life and income for huge instability and enormous additional stress. Which will then put further stress on your family and your relationship with your wife.
I would think really hard about this.
For your particular cases, notably having a stay at home wife and a baby, I wouldn’t recommend moving to teach English. If you were fluent in Japanese and targeting a better paying field, it would be different.
Something a lot of people don’t realize is how difficult it is to live in a country that doesn’t speak their native language.
For background, I met my wife here (she’s also a foreigner) and we have a kid.
The catch about raising a kid in Japan is that your kid’s native language will be Japanese not English. Even though you have two parents that speak in English, and one is a stay at home, after your kid goes to school, Japanese will quickly become your kid’s preferred language. I’ve seen it so many times in so many friends. It’s so common for the parent to speak to the kid in their language but the kid to refuse speaking back in it and only speak back in Japanese.
Even if you are pretty fluent, there will be a point where your kid is better than you in Japanese. If you plan on staying in the long term, there will be a point that you can no longer help your kid do their homework.
For a kid with at least one Japanese parent, there isn’t a problem, because at least the one parent can connect to the kid.
The other difficulty of living in a new country is that you don’t know the systems, etc. Of course this is something that you can (and must) learn along the way. But, without a parent that is fluent in Japanese, everything is harder. Like which forms to fill out, what happens if your kid gets sick (very few hospitals have ERs, and almost all hospitals “close” on weekends), how kindergarten works (or even knowing if you can even put your kid in hoikuen, since you have one stay at home parent), etc.
So, if you’re able to get a job, and if that job pays enough to qualify your wife and child for dependent visas and IF your company is willing to apply for the dependent visas as a package with yours (this is key, otherwise you’d have to come over first and then apply for their visas), then it is possible.
As others have said though, don’t underestimate how difficult it can be to live abroad when you don’t speak the language, especially while raising a child. I’m also part of a foreigner couple raising a child here, and though my language skills are advanced, raising a child here can sometimes be on “hard mode.” Figuring out the daycare/school system, figuring out the health system, making mom friends and arranging play dates. All tough when it’s not your native language.
And then the anxiety when something “goes wrong.” How to I advocate for my child with their teacher when they’re having issues? If I don’t agree with the school’s policies is it worth raising the issue or should I just chalk this up to “cultural differences?” It’s 3am and my kid has gotten really sick, how do I handle this? Can I communicate with the ambulance people? My kid has a persistent health issue but the doctor doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously, how can I fix this? If there’s only one English-speaking dentist in my area but we’re not happy with the care, do I feel comfortable going to a different dentist that doesn’t speak English?
As the SAHP your wife will likely have to take on much of that responsibility. Does she feel comfortable with that? it’s a LOT.