Raising children in the Japanese education system as international couple

19 comments

1. [removed]

2. Here’s a thought exercise: why did you marry someone without individual expression, creativity, or critical thinking skills?

3. [deleted]

4. You can measure by anecdotes or you can use more objective stuff like PISA scores and others. Both have severe drawbacks, but I know which I’d prefer to base decisions on.

5. You truly love living in Japan, where the majority of people living in society were educated through public schools. Public schools can’t be that bad then, can they?

   My kids go to a regular Japanese kindergarten, and they speak fluent English because I’ve been speaking it to them since they were born. They like school, and they have lots of opportunities for creative play and outdoor time.

6. I remember a few weeks ago there was a post from someone who grew up going to international school and therefore didn’t develop enough Japanese language skills to enter university or work, but their parents can’t afford sending them abroad as well. I think that’s the most important upside of public Japanese school, especially if you want to live here long term and considering your financial situation. Also, not specifically Japanese experience, but considering people in my country who went to international schools I can say it doesn’t guarantee critical thinking or no group think. In fact it might as well be group think but for rich expats. International school is its own bubble and there are a lot of downsides to that.

7. I think this will largely depend on where you want your kids to live and work when they grow up.

   If you want your kids to live and work the rest of their lives in Japan, then going through the local systems will be best at training your kids to become obedient cogs of Japanese society.

   However if you want your kids to become globally competitive workers with opportunities to work internationally, it may be better to consider at least middle/high school at international schools or abroad, and for universities definitely look abroad.

8. As someone in an international marriage with an 11 year old child, I can try to answer from my experiences:

   1 – I think it is getting better. My daughter has been encouraged by most of her teachers (public elementary school) to come up with inventive answers and, while yes they do expect a semblance of conformity, I don’t think it is nearly as prevalent as it was even just ten years ago. Plus, MEXT has put forth a mandate to help kids develop CT and logical thinking skills (More on this in the next section).

   2 – Critical thinking is 100% starting to gain ground in the Japanese education system. I do teacher training for HS teachers and the younger teachers are really keen to learn about critical thinking and integrate it into their classrooms. I also am very active in other levels of teacher education and there is, all round, an interest in learning how to utilize CT in classrooms/curriculum design/activities. Plus there are now starting to be more and more textbooks that integrate “actual” Critical Thinking into the lessons (Instead of masquerading higher-order thinking skills as critical thinking). Take the EFL textbook, Factbook II and III from the Japanese publisher Kirihara (I think the 3rd best selling HS textbooks in Japan) which does integrate logical fallacies and critical thinking into the units. It’s not perfect and Japan still have a long way to go, but it is getting better.

   3 – My daughter is home (remember: Elementary school) at the latest at 3:45pm. I expect this to increase in JH and HS, but not because they are in the “classroom” longer. They start club activities and practice usually goes into the evening. So, it won’t be like she has no social life. School here is harder than in the US I think, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

   4 – My daughter speaks both but her main language is Japanese (I mean…. she lives in Japan, goes to a Japanese public school, this is just how it goes) but I speak to her in only English. My wife goes back and forth between the languages, but when she visits her grandparents (they live close by) it’s back to 100% Japanese. Her ability in English is good, and I have very little trouble communicating with her in English, but I would deff. say that Japanese is her main language and I do wish we had done 100% English in my household and let her get Japanese from school and grandparents.

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   I hope my experience helps!

9. Why does this sub always put down people asking innocent questions? The entire point is to help other foreigners figure out how to adapt to Japanese life. It should be the basic assumption that there will be misunderstandings due to cultural differences. Why must people always default to attacking the OP and imposing unfounded assumptions about their life and behavior?

   We have people here scolding OP for wanting his kids to get a good education, for marrying his wife if he doesn’t think her culture is perfect, or for believing that educational systems are related to critical thinking skills.

   Stop bullying people. Do better.

10. 1&2 is down to great parenting.
    Native Japanese people tend to let the schools raise their children. But if you are actively involved it won’t be as much of an issue.

    3 requires some flexibility because if they plan to live in Japan, you kind of have to play ball and fit in. You can’t completely shirk those additional responsibilities.

    4- make English the only language at your home or make English as big of a part of your family life as possible. Parents with fluent children tend to speak only English at home and Japanese only in public.

    (For reference, my daughters are fluent because as parents we speak only English at home and make English a normal and natural part of our life instead of a forced thing. Even if one of us speaks broken English, the constant exposure is enough to improve theirs. Children don’t really care about one of their parents not being fluent, to them it’s just more of the experience. Even if one isn’t as good but tries hard to use it, it motivates them too. The key is to stay consistent and not flip flop between Japanese and English. Once you do, it becomes too easy for them to use only Japanese and see English as a chore or a neat trick to use every now and then. )

11. Can’t comment on 1-3 but

    “English proficiency: If we were to primarily speak English at home, would that provide sufficient exposure for our children to become fluent?” is generally a yes based on other couples I’ve seen. Having the kids consuming English media (films, TV, books, etc) also helps.

12. We’re currently doing a version of homeschooling that’s sometimes called “afterschooling.” Every day, we do some simple lessons and activities from a homeschooling curriculum with my son. Since we’re a Minority Language at Home family, his English is stronger than his Japanese, so we can teach him all the main subjects.

    So far it’s working. He’s in kindergarten, so homework’s not an issue yet, but since homeschooling curricula are designed to be done in 1-2 hours per day, 36 weeks per year, I don’t anticipate it being a problem (we’ll be flexible, of course, and some subjects will just be review, since Japanese schools are pretty good at teaching things like math). Juku isn’t in our current plan, but we’ll see.

    My husband saw a video of a half-Japanese woman whose mother provided with alternative work during her JHS English classes (I think she gave her National Geographic?). We’re definitely going to try and arrange something like that in the future. I’m sure it will depend on the school, but it’s worth trying, IMO. I can’t imagine how boring 4 hours of beginner English would be every week for years.

    It’s worth noting that my husband dropped out of high school, and is now a successful IT professional. This means we’re more forgiving than a lot of families. If our son struggles with the Japanese system, we’ve considered accredited online schools. I’d like him to have a diploma, but I don’t care if it’s from Japan or America.

    I’ve had very mixed experiences with international schools (yes, even the legit ones). There’s one in my area that’s held in very high regard and the facilities are excellent. But the kids don’t speak English well. It’s just a school for rich kids and I’m not rich. All the students were Japanese, so my son would still stand out, I just don’t see the benefit. His public kindergarten has children from Hong Kong and Korea, so I almost feel like it’s more international.

13. I went to the school in US and Europe (France HS). While in the US I could choose my classes to focus a bit more on things that interest me, and do things like clubs, even in HS in France I could choose 1 (one!) elective. My partner who went to school in Japan (private school, granted, but Tokyo) has so many stories of club activities and other creative activities in extra-curriculars.

    I feel like on that point Japan might be better than most places in Europe, just from what I’ve heard.

14. Japan has its good and bad things like everywhere else. I would suggest you check the Japanese school system curriculum for elementary through to high school and see if they meet your standards. Then look at private schools, and finally international schools.

    If you like what they are doing in public schools and feel they are just missing a few things, you can teach them those things yourself. If you think the system here is all wrong, then take them back to your home country and enroll them there. That’s a pretty big move though. Alternatively you can enroll them into private schools which might be a medium point between public and international. And finally you have full international schools that are like little islands of foreign culture and language. Kinda like an embassy or military base.

    At the end of the day you need to look at Japanese society and think to yourself ”Am I happy with my kids becoming what I see around me?” Because that is what they will become. Same back home. Do you prefer them to become whats around you back home?

    Having said that, I’ve met lots of kids who grew up in Japan but attended international schools and are completely different from the locals. So there’s that. But as you said, its expensive and a big financial commitment.

15. I think you’re greatly overthinking things. Developed countries have good education. The only point I think may merit discussion is school hours/homework load. But even in the US I was in school from whatever start time to like 5pm or even later with sports.

16. Our child is doing just fine in the Japanese public school system. He is currently nine.

    School hours aren’t crazy and homework is about half an hour a day if he applies himself.

    Creativity is definitely not a problem if your home environment is open and encouraging. He has a group of friends who are constantly drawing etc… together.

    I also teach at public junior high schools and although homework does increase its not outrageous. The bigger time sink is actually club activities like sports or brass band club. But I feel these are beneficial (although they do eat up most Saturdays).

    I don’t feel creativity is overly discouraged at JHS and I would be perfectly happy for my son to attend here.

    You can however feel the focus really shift towards academic achievement towards the end of JHS, but the kids are 14-15 then so maybe it’s time.

    We are in Iwate and everything is more relaxed here so it might not directly reflect the Tokyo experience.

17. Ok, if you want your child to be bilingual, you should each speak with them in your native tongue. They will likely be bilingual before they enter kindergarten. If they attend an English-instruction school rather than a Japanese school, then you should both speak Japanese at home to reinforce that. If they enter public school, you’ll need to keep up the necessity that they speak English at home. Without both languages continuing to be an important part of their lives, they’ll most likely give up on the one that doesn’t get used.

    English education in Japanese schools will likely be completely irrelevant for your kid and they will stand out as a result. They are likely to experience some level of negative attention for this – whether it reached the level of bullying or not largely depends on their reaction to it and the kind of person giving the attention. Be ready to support them through this and have good answers to questions like “Where am I from? Am I Japanese? Who am I?” and so on. Help them build their identity and be confident in themselves.

    If you can afford it, I’d really recommend international school (and specifically a school with the IB program) with your wife supporting their Japanese learning. This is especially true if you hope for them to study overseas eventually, as despite what people are saying in this thread, Japanese schools absolutely DO limit student’s individuality, creativity, and critical thinking. Some are making false equivalencies to US public schools, but these are irrelevant as I don’t see anywhere in your post where you mention maybe going back to the states (if education is the only reason, don’t).

    What others have said about work load and cram school etc. is also true. Genuinely, most kids don’t need cram school. It is almost entirely an invention designed to prey on Japanese parents and their need for their kids to be successful at all costs. It is a predatory industry that hurts kids for profits. the only argument for going is that it is expected that students will go. However your kid is half, so they’re going to be targeted for being different anyway. In any case, it is entirely, 100% up to you and your student how much time they spend in juku every week. I taught kids in an eikaiwa, and some of my older students were in high school – their lives and study habits were horrific. This is good for building up resilience and conformity, but not for actual learning.

    Signed, a teacher with experiences in the Japanese school system, eikaiwa, and international schools both in Japan and overseas.

18. Specifically in regards to English. They recently moved the curriculum to start one year earlier. This is much better from what I can see.

    If you can keep your child’s English functional until they start teaching it in school they will rapidly accelerate away as soon as they get exposed to it at school.

    The system generally succeeds with kids ahead of the curve and fails with kids behind the curve. Any kid coming from a bilingual background will jump well ahead of most other kids very quickly.

19. As someone who’s raised 3 kids in 3-5 different school systems (US public, Japanese public and private, and German public and international) allow me to comment on this.

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    >The phenomenon of ‘group think’: We worry about the potential discouragement of individual expression and deviation from the group. Is this a prominent aspect of the classroom environment?
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    >Emphasis on creativity and critical thinking skills: We’ve heard that these areas might not be prioritized within the Japanese education system. Can anyone share their personal experiences regarding this?

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    Allow me to address these 2 together. Because they’re related in a way you are probably guilty of. Give me a concrete example of “group think” and especially define “critical thinking skills” as Japan is lacking? You can’t. But everyone says so! Let me help you out, you’re a victim of “group think” because people lack “critical thinking skills”. This is usually parroted by people who are occidentalizing things trying to excuse the fact that by every objective metric their education was inferior to the Japanese one but obviously their teaching methods are superior to the backwards Japanese. In fact reading this sub for a day or 2 should convince you that wherever you’re from isn’t teaching anything approaching critical thinking skills. It’s like the “Japan’s so racist” thing which is usually because someone who has been treated as a special flower because of their race is suddenly being treated like everyone else (which is not to say racism doesn’t exist – housing is the biggest villain IMHO – just that a lot of “racism racism racism” is not because of your race it’s because you’re being treated just like a Japanese person would be in the same situation). BUT EVERYONE SAYS SO!!! (group think)

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    From a creativity standpoint – 2 of my kids have been huge into band, the 3rd was in the art club and robotics club, my daughter was a huge calligraphy nerd for years, she’s now part of the photography club, one of my sons learned guitar and piano because of the musical education, there are tons of creative outlets if your child is interested in them.

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    >School hours and homework load: We’ve heard that the school days can be long and the homework extensive, even during summer vacation with cram school. How do your children handle this?

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    This is one of those things. There’s a reason Japan is consistently ranked in the top tier of public educations. And they put a lot of emphasis on it. My kids don’t have time for extensive socialization because they spend so much time on homework/juku. That being said they’ve got a great baseline education. And they were very busy in clubs when they weren’t doing juku and homework.

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    >English proficiency: If we were to primarily speak English at home, would that provide sufficient exposure for our children to become fluent?

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    You’re going to have to keep working on this one. My oldest 2 were easier because they were 13 and 10 when we moved to Japan. My baby was 7, her English is the worst of the bunch. It’s still miles better than everyone else’s but momma only spoke Japanese to the kids at home and with dad gone most of the time (the first job I had here had me travelling ~25-50% for the first 2 years) her English suffered because noone around her was speaking it. It’s recovered now that I’m home more but it will probably never be as good as her brothers – she still gets caught trying to think of the right word or will switch to Japanese when she wants to express herself.