There I was, sauntering solo through the verdant lanes of Kabukicho, when out of nowhere a worn, low-resolution purikura style photo of two Japanese gals is thrust before my eyes.
Thinking it was a nice little present, I tried to take it but it was cruelly withdrawn, replaced by the visage of an African man offering titties and the opportunity to fornicate with said wenches, or at least some of equal or lesser value.
“I do like fornication” thought I, but sadly I had somewhere to be and politely declined his titties.
Scarcely had I progressed when a second African chap drew alongside, proffering a fist bump and a convivial hand shake that implied we were already firm friends. He thoughtfully complimented my hair and asked me where I am from. He then drew in close and asked if I am fond of cocaine and/or marihuanas. Truth be told, I am, but again I had other plans.
Later, I saw the same gent. He asked with an air of melancholy, “Why didn’t you come to my spot bro?” I thought this odd, because no going to of spots had previously been mentioned.
Anyway, my question is, has anyone taken up these helpful men on their offers? Do they *really* have drugs to sell? Titties to see? Ho’s to slam?
Thank you for your time.
36 comments
You should go for it 100%. Make sure to bring a backup ATM card in case the the first one doesn’t work.
Go and see. Then tell us about your experience.
Yea bro, random people asking you to follow them down dark alleys in the red light district, what could possibly go wrong?
There are several threads about this if you search.
You’ll get drugged and your money taken. No titties, unfun drugs.
No.1 rule of kabukicho: don’t trust anyone in kabukicho
Awaiting the next post: I was drugged and 200,000 yen was stolen from my bank account in tOkYo KaBuKichoooo post
100% you’ll get robbed. 80% chance drugs are involved to accomplish the task. Ya, people do and it’s pretty much always the same story. Person gets robbed and cops don’t do shit despite evidence.
those gents are genuine and honest. You should follow your instinct
The rule of thumb is whenever you are in a *specific* area like Kabukicho, NEVER accept anything from anyone, no matter how good it looks, no matter who makes the offer. Anyway, you are not missing out on anything if you refuse.
Whenever I see these posts I immediately imagine OP looking like Napoleon Dynamite.
Those African bruddahs are good at sniffing out suckas
the writing got a little chuckle out of me. surely they must be true to their word given that this is japan—no crime or corruption can possibly exist here
In Kabukicho I ran into a mid 40s businessman standing in the middle of a crosswalk asking me and any other white dude walking past if I wanted to have sex with him.
Yours sounds way more fun.
Trust nobody in Kabukicho lmao. Besides these fellas, there are plenty of Japanese scammers and underage girls being drunk and filming tiktoks (kinda sad honestly). However, Kabukicho is still one of my favorite places to go out since there is an abundance of genuinely cheap bars and restaurants, you just gotta know where to go.
I just tell them “I don’t speak Italian” in Italian. They usually remain perplexed enough to get away
It wasn’t me, I swear.
They have more drugs than titties, but they do have a lot of titties.
I don’t know what I just read but this made my day lol
Surprisingly, I was yesterday at Kabukicho and the African dudes didn’t even bother talking to me.. One of them even attempted to talk to me and his friend said something to him in his language and he stopped on right spot.
Pretty sure it was something like “he is the dull gaijin who is passing through every now and then and never falls for the titties”.
Can’t rob me if I don’t have any money!
This is tough to read with a hangover
So I was walking through these type of streets with my friends and none of those African fellows stopped us. I was starting to wonder, do I look poor?
Then finally, someone came up and offered us “Chicks, sex and *****” (couldn’t catch the last one, it was a bit loud over there).
Respectfully denied, but inside I thought:
“I’M STILL WORTHY” 🤣
Never take them up on their offer or share more than a 30 second conversation with them.
I propose that this can be settled both amicably and unequivocally if the OP submits to us – a jury of his/her peers – for our inspection a photo of his or her hair style from the night in question. If we find that it is, as these gentlemen made out, worthy of a compliment, then, I tender, that we have established beyond a reason of a doubt that the fellows in question were not only acting out of honesty, fairness and decency, but also out of genuine concern for, and in answer to, the OP’s fundamental physiological human need for titties, cocaine and/or marihuanas.
Do.
Not.
Trust.
Those.
Guys.
They’re all part of an organized crime ring that overcharges the fuck out of you if you go to their establishments with hidden “extra costs”. They’re basically clip joints on steroids.
That being said, if you visit Takeshidori Street in Harajuku, don’t confuse those African guys on the street with the Kabukicho gangs; they just sell clothes (although their sales tactics are a bit pushy; however they’re not part of any criminal gangs and the businesses are legitimate).
You really live in japan?
Was drugged once in golden by one of the girls working for one of the gentlemen. Very nice experience. There were girls at the bar I remember but other than that… No recollection. Did pay a lot of money tho. It was fun!
My favorite part is Shinjuku city hall is basically in Kabukicho
Haha I also once wandered through Kabukicho, just to observe the surroundings and not to actually take any of these African fellows up on their offers. However, them being very persuasive and me being too nice to cut them off, one persuaded me into going to a bar where I could get a free drink, no strings attached of course. He guided me to some shady-ass building, up with a tiny elevator and held open the door for me to something that looked a lot like a kyabakura. Thankfully I was able to shake him off there before setting a step inside haha
Ugh. Was walking through Kabukicho the other night and saw this Australian guy walking after some tout, and I only heard him saying “promise me I am allowed to leave” and then they walked down some stairs.
I almost stopped them, but for some reason I just walked by minding my own business.
Some man asked me If I was looking for girls in Kabukicho, I just said that I was looking for men and walked away, run from them, usually they are scammers.
Such prose.
OP just wanna say that this is beautifully poignant comedy gold.
You should do open mic at Tokyo Comedy Bar (if you don’t already).
I was walkin’ down the street
Concentratin’ on truckin’ right
I heard a dark voice beside of me
And I looked round in a state of fright
I saw four faces, one man
A brother from the gutter
They looked me up and down a bit
And turned to each other
But what, pray tell, was so important for you to decline fornication with two Japanese gals and the chance to partake in what I assume was some fine devils lettuce
Dude, u have a knack in writings. Try write some novels bro.
Wouldn’t trust anyone touting anything in kabukicho. African or not.