Everyone at my job refers to me using my first name + san. I’ve never referred to anyone using their first name, only last name + san. Many of our clients refer to me in this way as well (not all tho). Why?
Do people assume I’d prefer to be called by my first name? I’m just curious.
31 comments
Lawyer up!
A combination of attempting to mimic The Gaijin Way by calling you by your first name (you know, like Gaijin do) and still being Japanese Polite about it. Typical Japan: best intentions, worst execution.
How did you write your name on your resume?
I wrote mine Last First in katakana, people assumed First was my last name due to how names work in English. I actually had to explain to everyone that Last was actually my last name, but they could continue to call me First-san since my last name is 8 katakana characters and a pain to say. (Sorry to my son)
My colleagues (Japanese and gaijin) only refer to me or any other foreigner by first name. No San.
Maybe your surname is “difficult” to pronounce?
Everyone calls me “first name+san”, but my surname is difficult also in my country ahaha
My money is on your first name being easier for them to pronounce than your last.
Source: my name is Sam.
Cuz you not japanese 🤷
Well I think it is just that japanese people assume foreigners like being called by their first names but it is hard for them (because they have been educated all their lives this way) to just call someone their name without any honorifics -thus the “san”.
I actually don’t mind it and I introduce myself always with my first name only, as that is the way we do it back in Portugal. No one goes around saying “hello, my name is first and last name”. On the other hand here in japan it is normal to introduce yourself using your last name.
Japanese corporate expats in the USA often adopt a western style first name. For instance, Hiroki Seki might become “Harry” Seki. Fumitoshi Sugino, might become “Fred” Sugino.
My experience is always for gaijin to be first name-san and Japanese last name-san. Just how it works. Have never heard and gaijin last name-san. Unless at hospital or something then they always use my last name.
How did you introduce yourself?
In japanese your surname usually comes first. For example
George Washington in US should be introduced as Washington George in Japan.
Either they think in the Gaikokuland colleagues like being called on a first name basis… Or they mixed up your first/last name.
This has become an issue at work where colleagues complained it makes them feel like they are not taken seriously.
This sort of crap used to bother me but several decades into my time in Japan, it no longer does. My first name is a hell’ve lot easier for Japanese people to say so I just go with it. I still get the same pay at the end of the month.
Everybody does this in business setting. Totally normal.,
They know foreigners usually use first names, but they can’t quite give up the suffixes, so you become (first name)-san. Another reason is if your last name is really difficult but your first name isn’t, they will just use the easier one.
The kids use my first name (though I encourage them to use “Mister” rather than “-sensei”) and I’m on first name basis with most other teachers, so it’s a non-issue, UNLESS they go with -san instead of -sensei, nevermind no honorific at all. It’s rare, but it has happened and I pointed it out when it did. I expect the same respect they afford their other colleagues.
Outside of work, I use honorifics as little as possible and would rather people cut the keigo in a majority of cases.
I coach youth football here and it’s funny how I’m “first name-Coach” as my title.
Very common. Very normal
In my current company, everyone – Japanese and not – uses first name to call each others, even with the CEO, without any -san and it confused me alot at first. As a new mom I was trying to make mom-friends, and somehow the Japanese moms I met at the community center introduce their first name to each others, so I’ve been calling the moms by their first name. It’s confusing for me also, but in the end if they are good people then don’t overthink it.
In my office it’s kind of a crapshoot. I’m called first name-san when we’re speaking Japanese, but bilingual coworkers often drop the -san when we speak English. Among my coworkers about half are called last name-san, and half first name-san, all of these Japanese people. Another poster here mentioned that young women in the office are called by their first names, and I just realized that’s kind of how it is in our office too.
I do have one coworker who I only learned recently legally took her American husband’s last name, but everyone still calls her by her maiden name. I didn’t even know her husband was foreign (or that she could speak English!)
Something funny though, when I changed departments from one where I primarily spoke English to one where I primarily speak Japanese, some coworkers had a really hard time figuring out how to address me. I did have a few try to awkwardly call me last name-san. I also had a lot of people who never used -san before switch to using it.
I specifically requested everyone to call me by my first name. Some people add san but I don’t really mind.
Some more old fashioned people say last name-san but I’ve never been called by my last name and it’s short so sometimes I’ve actually not noticed then calling me.
I felt like I had fallen into the Twilight Zone at the junior high school where I was working in super rural Gunma.
The students addressed all of the teachers as First-name Sensei (the teachers also referred to each other that way). As I understood it, it was due to the town always getting a huge number of Saitos and Arais.
(Coincidentally, the wildly genki OL always called the super scary billionth-degree judo black belt gym teacher, Shuji, as ‘Shu-chan’, which I always found hilarious)
My workplace uses a messy unnecessarily graduated form:
1. Japanese to Japanese : last name san
2. Japanese to other Asian: first name san or last name san
3. Japanese to western: first name only or first name san (if senior position or looks old).
4. Non-Japanese to Japanese last name san or rarely first name san.
5. Asian to everyone else first name or first name san.
I have asked our CEO to adopt a simplifying policy to just cut the tiers and have everybody adopt the same whatever way to address everyone for sake of simplicity and inclusion. He said that’s impossible Robert and said Japanese (esp women)would consider using first name basis as rude. Go figure.
Yes. It is an assumption that *all foreigners everywhere* are on a first name basis *even in* different cultures and languages and social settings. Which we all know is completely incorrect.
Some text book in JHS probably convinced them of this fact and they’ve never thought to question their assumptions or moved past thinking of any foreigner any differently to how they viewed their English teacher.
I see a lot of commenters turning themselves inside out pushing the misguided *politeness* line, but some people will absolutely use this excuse to further other you. If you feel it’s in appropriate set them straight.
Edit: words
I thought I was the only one.
The only time I really found an issue with this was in college (in Japan) where my sports team put everyone else’s last name on the back of our jerseys, and I alone had my first name.
It felt strangely infantilizing, and nobody asked me if I *preferred* or *wanted* my first name on the jersey.
I’m surprised they even add a “san”.
I’ve been in enough situation where they address everyone by their last name +san and me just by my first name.
But at the same time, there are also some Japanese in my company who are addressed by their first name without “san”.
>Do people assume I’d prefer to be called by my first name?
In part, yes, because all foreign people are regarded as being from America, where that is the general custom. Even if people consciously know you are not, unconsciously they cannot help but behave as if you were.
Another reason is that having more than two names, as you likely do, your names make a mess of any and all paperwork. It doesn’t seem like much, but it’s complete anarchy for them.
On top of that, the variety of names and the complexity of their pronunciation are daunting for Japanese people. Their names follow a pattern they are familiar with, and don’t include any sounds their language lacks (ie “th”, “l”, “r”, etc) while foreign names are the wild west of sounds.
It’s probably just what they know from school textbooks. Any time a foreign character is introduced in a textbook they normally use their first name. Unless you specify to “please call me (Last name)” most people will default to first name.
Incidentally, people don’t normally refer to each other by their last name in my home country anyway, so I don’t mind.
It’s something they do to foreigners. I even experienced it at the doctor’s office. Doc asked me ‘how should I call you? X (first name) san? I know for sure she doesn’t call her Japanese patients by their first name (the Google reviews would be outrageous) so I told her ‘my last name is on my file isn’t it’?
If we’re not friends, if you don’t do it to the Japanese because it wouldn’t be respectful and if I still have to use your last name when I adress you, then it’s not going to happen.
Before getting married i worked in a company where almost everyone would katakana family-san me even though I asked to be called first name.
Fast forward now I don’t work there anymore and I took my wife jp family name when I got married; now in many instances I’m getting first-san instead of jp family-san
I say go figure